A shaggy-haired Jackie Warner’s back on Bravo with a new weight-loss show, Thintervention, beginning next week.
We see you Jeana.
To vicariously live the Thintervention experience, Jackie’s got a couple of workout DVDs on the market. The first, One-on-One Training with Jackie, was shot in 2008. The second, Personal Training with Jackie: Power Circuit Training, was released last year. 
Of the two, One-on-One is the better DVD. It stars familiar faces from the gym including Rebecca and Agostina. The one hour workout is divided into three sections: arms, legs, and abs. Jackie’s not reinventing the wheel; we’re talking lunges, squats, sit-ups, and biceps curls. Each trainer does a different part of the workout as Jackie cues the exercises and corrects form. Most workout videos aren’t very challenging, and on a scale of 1 to 10, this one ranks about a 6.5. Overall, it is a pretty well-rounded and complete strength training workout. You will need about a six by six area of clear space and a set of hand weights. 
Power Circuit Training has different menu options: 40 minute total body, 15 min total body, 15 min abs, 15 min lower body, and 15 minute upper body. The full workout runs 42.54 minutes. No familiar trainers here; never seen these folks before. Jackie leads her usual warm-up for about 5 minutes. The circuits begin with legs, followed by chest, back, arms, and abs. Warner relies on boring (but effective) moves like squats, lunges, and shoulder presses. There are three exercises per circuit; first done slower and longer, then faster and quicker. Jackie actually exercises; sometimes with questionable form. This one did not feel very challenging. Too much of it involved lying on floor. Compound movements would make this video more interesting, effective, and calorie torching. On a scale of 1 to 10, a barely taxing 4.
Just days before the Oscars, Team Zoe multitasked trying to cover the collections in Europe and collecting gowns for the awards show in L.A. Even though the best frocks seemed to be slipping through her fingers, Zoe dropped everything to rush to London at Kate Hudson’s beckoning.
Aflutter with an A-list celebrity contact-high, Zoe was too concerned with wedging her head up Hudson’s ass to panic over her unmet professional obligations. Even though Burberry surely sent over a narrow range of options for Kate to wear to the show, Rachel took credit for Hudson’s look. A puffy-faced Kate rocked a military pea coat over a sequined mini dress in two different shades of green.
While imperfectly executed here, ladies take note, don’t run all over town, in the middle of the winter, in a minuscule dress, with no coat, freezing your ass off. Consider a cocktail-military combination and challenge the traditional assumptions of femininity, masculinity, day, and evening. Remember, shivering is not chic. 
Post-show, Kate and Rachel debated the merits of men in turtlenecks (Rachel pro, Kate con). Then Kate broke out into a few lines of Fleetwood Mac’s Silver Springs a capella, which was simultaneously annoying and impressive.
Rachel and Kate returned back to the hotel room where Rodger was curled up in his robe on the bed. Kate and Rodger double-teamed Rachel on the baby issue, but it’s kind of obvious she doesn’t want one. This would be Zoe’s wisest decision since the last thing the world needs is any more people.
Rachel raced back to Milan to join Brad for the shows. They met at a vintage store, Rachel in a Yves St. Laurent leopard trench, and Brad channeling Halston in a controversial turtleneck. Rachel justified her conspicuous consumption by rationalizing she would model her dreadful QVC line after her vintage finds. Brad walked away the true winner, scoring a ferocious felt gray wool man cape.
First Alberta Ferretti, a purveyor of modern, feminine, Italian elegance. The collection lacked any really Oscar contenders, but watching Rachel kiss designer ass never really gets boring.
Next Team Zoe ventured to the Missoni showroom where we met up with the (overrated) Margherita Missoni and her (underrated) mother, Angela. Margherita showed the group a bag with a pocket made of chicken feet, and this was Rachel’s reaction.
Can’t stop by Milano and not drop in on Versace. Brad even donned his D jacket for Donatella. Donatella and her gigantic lips greeted a gushing Rachel. Brad turned splotchy red, shifted his weight, and wore a tight nervous smile as he cradled Rachel’s coat like her little fur bitch.
The show itself produced nil in the way of Oscar options, leaving Team Zoe in much the same position as when they commenced Milan Fashion Week.
Later that night, Rachel and the rest of Team Zoe argued over whether she should wear thigh-high boots or patent leather platform wedges. Even though the boots were better and more fashion forward, Rachel chose the same tired platforms we’ve seen her in 1,000 times. Shoes aren’t the problem. She’s so fucking skinny she looks like glamour granny in everything she wears anyway.
At the Bulgari event, Julianne Moore barely tolerated Rachel’s superficiality. When Zoe inquired as to what Moore would don at the Oscars, Julianne answered Calvin Klein. This revelation smacked Rachel back into the reality that neither of her clients have gowns for the Oscars taking place less than a week away.
Back in L.A., a few dresses, including the Oscar de la Renta princess gown, began to trickle into the studio. However, Rachel began to suffer the harsh consequences of her irresponsible decision to flee to London to lick Hudson buns when she lost three of her top Oscar choices to other stylists.
Rodger tried to talk Rachel off the ledge by arguing that it isn’t a reality until the client knows about a dress and loses it. Irate, Rachel countered, “But you know when you know it existed? When it’s on another fucking actress, that’s when you know it existed!”
Practice self-preservation.
Pick a side.
Prepare to ramp it up.
Let it be easy breezy.
The frivolity of summer is over.
Go out of your way to be friendly.
You are a valued friend.
One word: edit.
Don’t confuse selfishness for martyrdom.
Make a list.
Moodiness makes you seem self-important.
Kinerase claims that C8 Peptide Intensive Treatment creates younger looking skin in 28 days. The active ingredients are essentially Kinetin, Vitamin C, Vitamin A, white tea, and Acetyl Octapeptide 3.
Days 1-7, average application: 5 pumps
Truthfully, after going in for some regrettable extractions last night, this morning’s face still shows the evidence. While each morning skin texture looks better than the night before, there have yet to be much in the way of cumulative results. So far it has been the same two steps forward, one step back when it comes to Kinerase C8. Day five, the re-aggravated hot spots have not completely subsided, but the overall skin tone appears more even. No new blemishes have emerged since treatment has commenced. Though it contains vitamin A, it is not a strong exfoliator. This serum is calming, but not the most “active” product when it comes to skin resurfacing.
On day six, woke up wishing this stuff was a bit more emollient. Stubborn spots still present, but hyper-pigmentation appears less noticeable. Hot spots chilled out overnight. After the seven days, there is notable improvement in skin texture to the touch. To make Kinerase C8 worth the investment, the next seven days must bring a marked improvement in visible skin texture.
