There is nothing I hate more than a dirty bastard so from time to time I will offer cleaning tips so you dirty fucks can get your shit together.  Trust me, you are filthy and you need me, so just relax and lean into it.  This one doesn’t even take any extra effort on your part.

Recently I began utilizing the “soak” cycle on my washing machine and I’ve noticed my laundry has been getting so much cleaner.   Soaking doesn’t require any additional water, it just gives the detergent more time to work.  I like to put the detergent, a stain-lifting booster or bleach, and the softener all in during the soak cycle and let it mingle for at least thirty minutes before switching the dial to agitate.  Spots vanish, whites brighten, and your clothes will smell better.