Models, beauty editors, and make-up artists lavishly praise Smith’s Rosebud Salve for good reason. Perfect pink subtle tint, light old-timey fragrance, and nostalgia packaging make this balm a rare value in an age glut with overpriced, under-performing products.
Since Smith’s Rosebud Salve has been around since 1892, and in its current incarnation since 1962, this is something your Mother might remember fondly. Consider this super cute three pack for Mother’s Day.
Trustifarian Julian Casablancas recently swung by in support of his solo record Phrazes for the Young. Notwithstanding his ELITE pedigree, the son of John Casablancas and Miss Denmark possesses both the musical vision and charisma to rightfully claim his spot center stage.
Bloated, though surprisingly coherent, Julian played a quick and nasty set backed by two percussionists, two keyboardists, and two guitarists. When he’s on, his powerful vocals sound studio quality. When he’s off, it’s mostly due to laziness. If you go see him, don’t expect The Strokes; while they did play one or two Strokes songs, neither of the sloppy-ass drummers hold a candle to Fabrizio Moretti.
Show Highlights: 11th Dimension and Left and Right In the Dark.
Admit it, they kind of shit the bed with the first Sex and the City movie. JHud sucked and four grown-ass women screaming every time they saw each other was fucking annoying, but I’m worried this second one is going to be down right dreadful.
Karaoke concerns me.
I’m confused by the ergodic locale choice and horrified at rumors of menopause talk. I like my SATC menopause-free, thanks.
This is just fucking unforgivable.
80′s fashion porn replaces wedding fashion porn this time around.
More Anthony Please.
Mrs. McDermott greeted us this week stewing with resentment which apparently gave her a psychosomatic headache. Watching Tori struggle with that puppy box for several minutes explains a lot about Liam.
Can we have a moment about this absurd bourgeois eco-gardening trend? Gardening is not that fucking complicated.
Seeds + Water + Soil + Sunlight = Plants.
While I’m sure McProductplacements got their little set up for free, droves of morons will overpay hundreds if not thousands of dollars for this bullshit scam. If you are too fucking lazy to plant it and tend it, maybe you don’t deserve to reap the rewards you short-cut taking faux-farmer. Only in fucking America, I swear.
At Dean’s movie of the week party, Tori and her Queens held court in the kitchen with too many things to do and not enough time. 
This woman has one mode — crazed. She’s stressing herself to vomit over a fucking movie of the week?
Pussy-hurt Dean came into the kitchen and snapped at everyone and then pointedly attacked Mehran. Oh No He Didn’t. For a second week in a row, Dean gives Tori grounds for termination. Thou Shalt Not Attack Thy Gay Husband. Weak-sauce Tori let that shit slide when she should have given him two fingers in the asshole and left him whimpering in the corner.
Thankfully, Mehran isn’t the pushover Bori is, and he let Mean know his hostility was not appreciated. For a second, Dean looked a little scared of Mehran. Checkmate, and episode highlight.
Is it me or is Liam totally going to grow up to be that dick bully from The Karate Kid?
Mr. Personality worked a diva attitude at the fashion shoot snapping at the Guncles over wardrobe and Mehran over comic tone. He is his father’s son.
When he’s a little asshole everyone just nervously laughs. Discipline that little fucker now before he becomes a total nightmare.
Bummer about Uncle Danny. Bravo to Tori for coming up with such a personal and creative way to honor his life. I hope he’s getting down in that big shell collector conference in the sky.
The tragedy served as a temporary respite from the on-going bickering between Tori and Dean, but by the looks of it they are back at it next week. Seen or heard one of the numerous statements Tori has made in the last three weeks announcing the peace and tranquility in their marriage? The damage-control compulsion indicates major trouble, Trust.
Alright, alright, alright….now that you’re faded and useless, put on Dazed and Confused and pay homage to one of the great stoner films of all time.
Killer 70′s fashion, several fuckable leads, pitch-perfect tone and timing, this is far and away Linklater’s best work.
On 420 the rule is when they smoke, you smoke.
Air Raid Bitches!
Last night on Kirstie Alley’s Big Life, Kirstie, with complete sincerity, said the following:
“In my religion, we learned that before someone is sick that something precipitates it. Either somebody was mean to somebody or suppressing you. Things like that….”
Kirstie says fuck you to logic, reason, and established medical science!
The kitchen sink is one of the dirtiest places in your whole house. 
When is the last time you gave yours a good scrub?
Scrub the entire area at least once a week to kill illness inducing pathogens.
My interest in Martha Stewart revolves mainly around her daughter, Alexis, who co-hosts the hilarious show Whatever, Martha! with the lovely Jennifer Koppelman Hutt.
When I heard that there was a new tell-all about Martha written by her former close friend Mariana Pasternak, my interest was mildly piqued.
The book is called Best of Friends, and it is a four hundred page doozy. I’m about half way through, but I already have some juicy gossip for you, so I’ll break my review into two parts.
First off, don’t get it twisted, this is one self-serving book. Pasternak’s overwrought writing style is self-indulgent and distracting, but she retains quite a bit of detail from her memories of the 90′s. Here are a few gems from the first two hundred pages.
Martha was infuriated her husband Andy had an affair with Erica Jong because she “writes about having sex!”
Martha dated and probably fucked Charlie Rose.
Martha was supposed to be on the ill-fated Sandy Pittman 1996 Everest climb where eight people died. She and Blaine Trump backed out at the last minute.
In the early days when Martha ran a catering company, she had Alexis do some cooking for her. This was back when Alexis was in middle school. One evening, Alexis made madeleines and apparently they were too dark for Martha, so she awoke Alexis in the middle of the night, on a school night, and demanded she make a new batch! 
No wonder Alexis grew up to mock her mother professionally. I’d be fucking resentful too.
