This week on the season finale, Jill and Bethenny finally sat down for their long-awaited confrontation at Le Cirque. Jill nervously prattled on doing her usual yenta small talk shtick before she eventually got down to it.
She weakly apologized for not being ready to accept Bethenny’s apology at Ramona’s (which is basically a bullshit non-apology). Bethenny found the small talk more unnerving than confrontation, so she dove in and labeled Jill disloyal and the disintegration of the relationship equivalent to divorce.
Neither of the two wanted to dredge up the past, but unless they level with each other the relationship can’t move on. Jill can throw as many potato latkes at the situation as she wants, but Bethenny doesn’t give a fuck. Scorpios never let things go.
Bethenny, a cold-hearted bitch to the core, didn’t even soften in the face of Jill’s prostrate humility. Mostly because Bethenny believed that Jill’s motives were more self-serving than sincerely contrite.
At La Pomme, the Cuntess busted out her glitter pants for the big debut of her new single Money Can’t Buy You Class.
We finally got to meet LuAnn’s new boyfriend, the French Fonze. The Cuntess bubbled with mid-life puppy love for her new beau as she proudly introduced him around the crowd.
As for the performance, it sounded like the Cuntess sang over a vocal track, and for a second I thought I had accidentally switched to RuPaul’s Drag Race.
We met up with Bethenny and Jason moving out of her UES apartment in favor of larger Soho cohabited square footage. This segment proved that Bethenny’s been holding out all season. Should we resent the fact that she’s obviously saved all the good stuff for her spin off?
Jill surprised Ramona to congratulate her and provide the requisite pre-ceremony fawning. Jill said something worth emphasizing.
“You have to show up for the important stuff.”
Despite vow renewal fatigue, Ramona and Mario moved the crowd to tears with words of their devotion. Avery was skeptical about her Mom’s intentions for this vow renewal, but Ramona managed to wring some sincere sentiment from the event.
Waterworks aside, a woman in her fifties prancing down a staircase in a feathered white wedding gown is a definite dignity issue. Do I even need to comment on the fucking dog?
The matrimonial outpouring of emotion triggered a chain reaction at the reception, and one by one the ladies coupled up to reconcile their differences.
Kelly and Ramona bonded over a book of St. John photos Kelly put together. Nice gesture Kelly, way to wrap things up on a good note.
Bethenny pulled Ramona and Alex aside and spewed a bunch of emotional back-handed compliments about how surprised she was they were here for her this year. Ramona summed it up when she said, “Now you know, you can trust us,” before the three hugged it out.
