Monthly Archives: December 2010

PARTY NYE

Venturing out for a gathering tonight?  Remember these simple tips to keep your dignity intact this New Year’s Eve.Have a strategy for getting home or arrange a place to crash before you go out.  The last thing you want to be doing at 2:18 a.m. New Year’s Day is trying to find a cab or foolishly trusting a drunk-ass friend to drive you.  Lazy, opportunistic cops love New Year’s Eve.  The last place you want to spend the night is the drunk tank in county lockup, Trust.  Plan ahead bitches.  For the record, hoping for a one night hook-up does not constitute a legit plan.Please resist the temptation to dress like a disco ball and call it “festive.”  Tonight, expect to see a hot mess of metallic wherever you go.  Buck the obvious choice, and you’ll stand out against a sea of tired frocks.  If you already have a sparkler lined up, it better be the best shit ever.  Seriously, ill-fitting metallic looks so budget.  Regardless, wear a damn coat.  Shivering is not chic.If someone hands you a bong or a joint, puff-puff-pass.  No sleeping in the grass.  If you stumble into a room where people are doing blow, don’t inquire loudly, “Is that coke!?”  Clean up after yourself.  Don’t pee on the seat.  Share your drugs.  Take one before you take two.  If you are rolling, maintain your composure.  Nobody wants your emotional ebarf all over them.  Stay away from pharmaceuticals.  Drink water.  Eat dinner.  Sometimes puking is the best solution.  Keep a level-headed bitch in your crew.

Never be the first to arrive or the last to leave.  Don’t flirt with someone else’s date.  Absolutely no catfighting, crying, or public relationship drama allowed.  Bring cash.  Nudity will surely end up on the internet.  Keep your clothes on.Most of all loves, thanks for your visit.  Wishing you the most phenomenal and blessed year of your life.  Smooches, DC

StriVectin Overnight Facial Resurfacing Serum

StriVectin was one of the first medico-prestige brands to hit the scene about eight years ago, but I never really got on board because frankly the word “StriVectin” sounds too much like a herpes treatment.  In the service of finding an effective product to combat hyperpigmentation, enter StriVectin Overnight Facial Resurfacing SerumStriVectin claims this serum “gently and effectively resurfaces the skin with results starting in as little as a week while promoting visibly healthier skin, with a reduction of fine lines and wrinkles within 28 days.”

In a word, bollocks.  This product did little to nothing for evening skin tone, and there are less expensive and more effective chemical exfoliators available.  After using the entire bottle, improvements were imperceptible.Pinkish clear and lightly fragranced, this serum dries quickly and leaves the skin feeling tight.  Only those with the oiliest of skin would find this product adequately moisterizing on its own.  Most serums are not intended as all-in-one products, so best not to go in with that expectation.  This product is at best mediocre and not worth the nearly sixty dollar asking price.  The best thing about it is the packaging.  The glass bottle and dropper are both high quality, as demonstrated by the precise control the user has over the amount of product dispensed.  Other companies should take note – product waste resulting from poor package design is extremely frustrating and unforgivable.  

PRE-FALL 2011: GOWNS

Tuesday’s Tarot

Ten of Wands represents the burden of our own success and urges reevaluation and realignment.  The word oppression comes to mind.  Are you carrying all the weight?  Don’t hate – delegate.  When reversed, consider how your burdens are self-imposed.  Perfidy is another common theme associated with this card, so watch out for a sucker punch.

Decent Deals

I trust you’ve kept your head above the recent flood of commercialism.  Now that the high waters have begun to recede, some really good bargains are surfacing.  This is a very opportune time to pick up a fresh new coat at a deep discount.  Avoid baby doll styles which are done, and invest in a belted style to carry you through next winter and beyond.

Chunky knits aren’t going anywhere.  Fair Isle was the major pattern statement this season for both sexes.  However, if you plan to invest serious money, an amazing solid color won’t look tired after a couple seasons.

An interesting pair of boots will refresh your look through spring.  Boots with opaque tights is the warm way to rock dresses in the winter.  You’ll stand out against the sea of boring pants.

Wanna dip your toe into the prestige pond?  Stores slash prices on gift sets after the holidays, and this provides the perfect opportunity to try several products from one brand.  Often a clearance gift set costs the same or less than a single full-priced item.  Caution, check product sizes: some sets contain a full-sized collection and others dwarfed versions.

Sunday with Santa

Saturday’s Sutras

Cognitive meditation is accompanied by reasoning, discrimination, bliss and the sense of I am.  There is another meditation which is attained by the practice of alert mental suspension until only subtle impressions remain.

Yoga Sutras 1.17-1.18

Accepting Hideous Gifts with Grace

For some of us, Christmas means sitting around with people we don’t like opening presents we don’t want.  This is the gift of adulthood.  The only upside is booze.Microeconomists theorize Christmas gift giving as a deadweight loss.  Basically, all the crap we exchange has less value than what we pay for it, and storing the clutter costs more than it’s worth.  Nevertheless, we must learn to accept less desirable baubles with grace.  No matter how ill-suited the gift, don’t allow your reaction to match its inappropriateness.  Suck up your disdain; the only acceptable response to a gift is gratitude.  No need to disingenuously lay it on thick; a sincere expression of thanks will suffice.  Flex your honesty muscles, and you may end up with a sobbing mother-in-law.

Little Women

Can’t get too nostalgic about Miracle on 34th Street?  What about Little Women circa ’94?  Let’s spark a yule log and enjoy Winona and the girls in all their unmitigated, mid-nineties glory.  Susan Sarandon presides over the sisters March played by Trini Alvarado, Claire Danes, Samantha Mathis, and a young Kirsten DunstLouisa May Alcott purists may quibble with certain literary inaccuracies, but isn’t that always true with adaptations of classics? Honestly, half of the enjoyment of this movie is luxuriating in the hypnotic 1860’s hair weave action.  The mega-manes serve as the attention-seeking fifth sister.  Consider a visit to Orchard House once you’ve taken your annual trip to Indiana for A Christmas Story.

Winona Forever Bitches.