APRIL 2011 HOROSCOPES

Aries

Happy Birthday Fiery Bitches!  In astrological terms, Aries comes first, and that’s just the way you like it.  Super fun, superfly, and irrepressible, Aries are en fuego.  Even though the last few years have been a struggle, Aries maintains momentum.  Perhaps professionally things haven’t progressed ideally.  All that will change this year if you take the time to cultivate balance.  Aries feels super-charged this April.  Rein the energy in or suffer the consequences – stupid embarrassing ones too – public stumbles, idiotic fender benders, and pride-wounding chokes.  Get plenty of sleep, take care with relationships, and for fuck’s sake, think before you speak.

Taurus

Typically Taurus has it all together, but this month you’ll feel pulled in a million directions.  The way you cope with all this hectic energy will dictate whether things getter better or escalate.  Taurus vent frustration and anxiety on loved ones.  Needling the significant other won’t ease stress, and tussling with the in-laws will only make things worse.  Channel that negative energy towards a more constructive activity – like an Easter egg hunt!  Keep an eye on finances and stick with your budget in April.

Gemini

Here’s the bad news for tax season, April is not a good month for Gemini and numbers.  Strongly consider hiring a professional or get someone to double check any fiscal matters.  Friendships get tested when heads butt.  You may have to agree to disagree this time.  April skews romantic mojo, so now’s not the time to trust your instincts.  Have a friend cosign before moving forward, especially after three or more cocktails.

Cancer

April brings a tremendous amount of freedom and stress.  The wide open future awaits; seize it by the balls.  Interoffice politics play a big role in generating conflict this month.  On the upside, Cancers find true comfort in family and a peaceful home.  Both these gifts are yours this April.  When it comes to finances, please balance optimism with reality.  The full moon makes a great back drop for a party.  Consider hosting.

Leo

Miscommunication frustrates Leos and causes conflicts with friends, lovers and coworkers this April.  With a little patience and kindness on your part, these little squirmishes will take care of themselves.  Take extra caution with internet banking and transactions.  Keep important documents organized.  Leos stills shine this month, especially in the career sector – great time to leverage for a raise or promotion.

Virgo

Virgos need a luxurious day just for themselves this month.  Invigorate with spa treatments, delicious food, and long naps.  Whatever the pleasure, indulge for an afternoon.  Financially, unexpected shenanigans make it ultra-important to check the credit report.  The entire household needs to know what’s going on with money.  Keep them informed and they will step up.  Ethical beyond reproach, Virgos forget not everyone rolls that way.  Trust, but verify.

Libra

That new relationship you’ve been toying with?  April will make it or break it.  Libras usually have the subtle upper hand in relationships, so ultimately the decision will be yours whether to invest in or ditch the prospect.  Around the 18th, plan a get together and by the end of the evening the decision will be obvious.  Either way, anticipate a rocky aftermath.

Scorpio

Unclench your fist Scorpio.  Those little work bitches stir up weird energy this month.  Preserve calm dignity and reap the rewards later in May.  Even with obstacles, Scorpio’s high productivity results in accomplishment.  The love life looks really good this month for the committed and single, so take a few opportunities to get your Scorpio swagger on.

Sagittarius

Unfortunately, March’s drama seeps into April, but don’t fret Sagittarians.  These things have a funny way of working themselves out.  Concentrate on enjoying family and friends through a creative activity.  Unexpected expenses pop up later this month.  Don’t get caught off-guard.  Set aside some extra dough now and save yourself the stressful last minute scramble.

Capricorn

Hating home life right now?  You’ve heard that cliché about making your bed and sleeping in it right?  Tension permeates work relationships as well.  As usual, the battles boil down to ego.  Caps, consider whether hubris limits your ability to genuinely connect with others.  Smarties bypass drama with a humble approach, creating a safe space for creative exchange.

Aquarius

Spring travel plans go awry this month; even the car may experience issues.  Aquarians experience foggy communication like many other signs this month, though misunderstandings should clear up before the last week of April.  Aquarians get pissed at space-invading family and neighbors.  Establish and enforce boundaries.  On the bright side?  Cash fills the pocketbook.

Pisces

A side opportunity for some extra cash gives Pisces a long-needed financial break.  The added monetary cushion gives you a chance to relax and finally feel comfortable.  Especially charming and charismatic this month, take advantage of this moment and go after what you want.  Your chances of success are particularly high now.  Things also flow nicely on the relationship front thanks to April’s added magnetism.