RHNY: Smack Her Back

Blonderexic Alex seems determined to earn her salary this season by working unnecessary drama into every social encounter.  Alex described Jill’s totally neutral hello as “incredibly aggressive.”  What’s incredibly aggressive is Alex’s shameless grab for camera time.  On the way out, Alex invited the group to the equality march across the Brooklyn Bridge in full bridal regalia.Ramona and Sonja headed downtown under the pretense of attending an art benefit co-hosted by new cast member Cindy.  Successful IVF mother of two and owner of a string of waxing salons, Cindy claims to have it all and not need a man.The rest of the crones arrived in different pairs.  Alex got iced out of a few photographs and coped by drowning her pain in free champagne.  Her self-conscious hovering smacks of effort.  I wish effort would smack her back.Once Jill got wind of Cindy’s test tube twins, she had to know every detail about their conception.  First she grilled Kelly, and when that well dried she went right to the source.  When Cindy joined the circle, Jill prefaced her intense inquisition by saying, “Would it be too personal if I asked a couple of questions?”Ramona terrorized interviewed potential assistants, and one after one the ladies wilted in her domineering, critical presence.  Rudemona went so far as to thrust her skincare product on one girl and inform her she didn’t need to be pretty – just pulled together.In the Hamptons, Ramona hosted Alex and Simon for an overnight since all four planned to attend a wedding together.  Over bagels, the busted blonde broads prematurely gloated at the idea of Jill not knowing Alex would be at the event.Ramona and Alex must have shared a crack pipe before they got dressed because they both showed up to a wedding in white/ivory.  Both looked fug and so wrong.  They might as well have given the bride the finger.  Furthermore, considering Bethenny and Jill are both in the shapewear business now, it’s a mystery why Alex can’t grasp the concept of  a proper undergarment.  After the ceremony, Ramona added fuck-up to faux pas when she was overheard talking shit about some other guests (including Cindy’s brother?), thereby causing offense and tense embarrassment.Alex cornered Jill and needled her over lending her name to the equality march but not participating in it.  Throughout the afternoon Jill stewed over the confrontation.  Later, when she took shade with two other ladies, she unleashed on Alex, calling her a “fucking bitch.”  Proving she hasn’t changed much, Jill followed it up by saying, “Look at her.  She is socializing at a party that is so above her.”Alex and Ramona joined the group, and Alex reignited her pecking over whether Jill knew she was going to be at the wedding.  It was a meaningless point to press and just made Alex look petty, desperate, and attention-seeking.Ramona swept the event with an impressive three party fouls.  The final one occurred when Ramona dug her finger into the previously unmolested wedding cake.