RHNY: Pinot Pecking

Sonja orchestrated a détente between Kelly and Ramona at Geisha where they both confessed to each other their mutual anxiety over the meeting.  Kelly served up the same I’m-42-and-don’t-have-time-for-this speech, and Ramona responded with apologizing for texting under the spell of the vino.Cindy joined Sonja for tea time at her townhome and read her to filth for telling Kelly about her reconciliation scheme and failing to provide Ramona’s precious Pinot Grigio in Quogue. Without mincing words, Sonja swiftly leveled Barshop with the following zinger:

‘There is a pecking order.  I’m sorry.  If Ramona Singer comes to your party you have to respect it.”

Ramona hosted a jewelry pimping party where she served her namesake Pinot Grigio in Cougar Town-sized goblets.  Despite her efforts to intoxicate the crowd, there wasn’t enough Pinot in Manhattan to trick anyone into thinking that hideous display was cute.The Cuntess flexed her already well-toned condescension muscle by probing Ramona over the origins of her eponymous Pinot GrigioRamona butchered the pronunciation of Veneto, and the Cuntessa unsurprisingly relished in the opportunity to correct her.  The Cuntess remarked that Ramona can drink all the Pinot Grigio in the world and it won’t make her a wine expert.  Yeah, well fucking a wine distributor doesn’t exactly make you an expert either LuAnn.

A toaster oven feast awaited LuAnn and Kelly over in Sonja’s kitchen.  Gathered around the island, the apparent irony of a high-end gourmet stove sitting cold and unused in the background went completely unnoticed by the three women.Jill took her Yom Kippur spirit to Brooklyn to make amends with Alex over transgressions which accumulated between the two over the last year.  Gifts in hand, Jill tried to break the ice with compliments, but ended up accidently dishing an unintentional insult instead.  Alex listened to Jill’s mea culpa with guarded ear, but confessed later she still didn’t trust her because of hateful things Jill said about Simon and her boys.  Specifically, Alex mentioned that Jill called Alex’s children animals.  Animal or not, we can all agree there is something going on with Francois, non?

Whatcha reaching for kid?  Is that a hug or a headlock?

Finally, Ramona and Cindy met up to clear the Quogue fog, but Barshop couldn’t even articulate her queef with Singer, so the exchange left relations more muddled than before their Four Seasons four cocktail lunch.The meal ended early when the two hit an impasse.  Ramona took a cue from the Cuntess and dished a side-order of condescension which caused Cindy to completely withdraw into her martini.  After a few minutes of awkward silence, Ramona excused herself from the lunch, and the two parted with their relationship in shambles.