Monthly Archives: August 2011

Tidy Tip: Clean the Ceiling Fan

Look up.  If you see a ceiling fan, it is probably dirty.  Today, consider cleaning it. Typically crud builds up on the rotating side of the blade.  Let it go long enough and experience a dust shower every time you flip the switch.Many might be tempted to take a feather duster to this mess.  Don’t.  That approach spreads dust everywhere, especially on the top of your head.  Take the vacuum attachment to the filthy fluff first.  After the bulk of the dust is removed, go over each blade and the center with a damp cloth.  Don’t forget to give the light bulbs a once over if the fan has lamps.

Tuesday’s Tarot

Adorned in a robe of clouds, the Queen of Swords sits on a throne of butterflies and angels.  She reaches out with her left hand representing the feminine, but remains guarded with her right, the masculine.  The Queen of Swords has endured suffering.  She emanates sorrow and mourning stemming from loss or separation.  Despite her suffering, the Queen still finds humor and irony in life.  Difficult to manipulate, her incisive wit slices through the fluff.  When she pops up, get direct, honest, and realistic.

VMAjor Fashion Letdown

Love Adele, but this boring-ass dress explains why she’s often photographed from the shoulders up. Fucking gross yo.  Beyoncé does her bun in the oven pose in tangerine Lanvin.  I’m sure Gwyneth is thrilled at the prospect of sharing her homemade organic baby food recipes.Miley Cyrus in Cavalli and Selena Gomez in Julien Macdonald, these two twats look 35.

Justin Beiber is the only young lady who dressed her age.

You can take the whores out of the Shore, but not the Shore out of these whores.Jojo you know it’s just a little too late…

All that auditing has dulled her taste in clothes.  Katie dressed like she was attending a parent-teacher conference instead of the VMAs.  The awkward stance and hideous booties do nothing to redeem the look.  The fact that Pete Wentz topped the best dress should give you an indication of the evening’s style caliber. Wasn’t wowed by Mizz Saldana in a embellished LBD by Barbara Bui, but I’ll still probably see her new movie ColombianaFor Katy Perry life is a costume party rather than a fashion show.  Here she channeled her “happy endings” look.

This is not an appropriate response to a cold sore Nicki.

More of the same from Miss Piggy’s Armenian cousin who always serves too much titty, too much belly, and too much hair.  

Sunday with RATS

3 Tips for a Killer Yard Sale

It is gauche to discuss money, but between us friends, yesterday I raked in almost $2,000 in cash during my epic garage sale.  Wanna know how I maximized my profit? 

1) Don’t sell anything for less than $1.  You won’t make any money or move any merch selling individual items for thirty cents, so you must…


2) Bundle small items together.  Group like items and rubberband them together to clear out more and justify the $1 minimum…

3) Know the value of what you are selling.  Power tools sell quick and command a premium.  Clothes only sell when they are the right size and aesthetically attractive to a specific buyer.  Most folks have a surplus of kitchen accessories.  Price these items accordingly.

Local Beauty: LaBoe Salon

As some of you know, I’ve been stuck on the buckle of the Bible belt for much of the summer on account of some personal tragedy.  It hasn’t been easy or fun, but one special lady certainly brought a little sunshine to some very cloudy days. The very talented Joyce Bunch owns a reputable salon in Morristown, Tennessee called LaBoe.  Picture Dolly Parton from Steel Magnolias and you are almost there.  Kind-hearted with a gentle touch, Joyce breaks out some cutting edge treatments in this little town.  For example, have you ever had a cold saline jet peel?  Very enjoyable. Now most of you might count your lucky stars that Morristown, Tennessee isn’t on the travel itinerary for this year.  However, you too can enjoy a little LaBoe goodness.  She produces a top-notch and reasonably priced beauty line.  Check out for an excellent array of potent products.  Free from fragrance and artificial color, Joyce keeps it real and focuses on results-oriented skincare.  I’d put her glycolic face cream up against any prestige brand.  The LaBoe skincare line comes in generously sized containers that make you feel like you are getting two for one.  

If you live in east Tennessee and you aren’t at the Cracker Barrel right now (don’t get mad, I heart okra too) you must visit Joyce Bunch for a little derma-TLC.  For those geographically far-flung, get on these products.  Your friends will be dying to know your skincare secret. 


Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: No Early Birds

I’m throwing an epic garage sale this weekend and already folks have dropped by and tried to get a jump start on the bargains.  Not only is this early bird trend super rude, it is extra tacky. We’ve already discussed how a drop-in from a friend can be uncomfortable.  When the unexpected visit comes from a totally fucking random stranger it feels downright intrusive.  This presumptuous twat pounded on the door thinking I would give her first look at any bedroom sets.  Bitch please, I would never encourage such gross behavior even if it costs me a sale. Garage sales are hellish enough without assholes repeatedly ringing the bell at all hours days before the sale even begins.  Seriously, it’s a garage sale, not the opening of a new IKEA.  Everybody just calm the fuck down.

So 5 years ago….

Recently, I yanked Standing in the Way of Control out of the vault.  After five years, Gossip’s breakout moment sounds as fresh as ever. Not every album stands the test of time, but this baby holds up.  This collection of songs totally merits a flashback listen.  Considering the current audio climate, it’s fair to say I appreciate Gossip’s music now more than ever.  Those looking for a more recent Gossip offering?  Try Heavy Cross.

Ditto forever.

Tuesday’s Tarot

The Knight of Swords rides with a pure heart and noble air.  Intelligent, discerning, and firmly direct, rely on the Knight of Swords for his reasoning backed by bravery.  The worst qualities from the dark side of this card include arrogance, dominance, and extravagance.  When the Knight of Swords surfaces, ask yourself if you could benefit from a little more directness and honesty?  Sometimes it is best to lay the proverbial cards on the table.  In the alternative, maybe your communications could use a sprinkle of love, and you come off too blunt, intolerant, and critical?  To embody the true essence of The Knight of Swords, strike a balance where truth and compassion happily coexist.