Monthly Archives: September 2011

3 Records for You

Hate to kick it off with such an obvious recommendation, but do consider Jay-Z and Kanye’s Watch the Throne.  Never thought these two massive egos could fit comfortably on one collaborative effort, but somehow they managed to pull it off.  The album ain’t half bad.  Not as great as Twisted, but also not a complete waste of time.The Rapture shows progress on In the Grace of Your Love without abandoning their clangy roots.  This collection of songs is a little more mature and melodic than previous offerings, but still full of energetic fun.  Good thing we got something new from The Rapture because now every time I hear Echos I can’t help thinking of Misfits (the awesome show, not the band).Mz. Anderson’s Past Life Martyred Saints is every bit as bueno as the critics say.  Won’t bore you with a gush, but getcha some of this goodness for sure.

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: Snotty Dinner

On at least three or four occasions during the last couple months I’ve been pleasantly enjoying my dinner when one of my dining companions spoils my meal by blowing her nose at the table.  As far as table manner offenses go, blowing a huge snot wad at the table ranks right up there with picking your teeth with your fingernail.  Fucking gross yo. If your nose is running, go catch it in the bathroom.  Don’t ruin my delicious Pad Ped with your disgusting mucus flood.  Don’t top off an already revolting gesture by throwing what was once your napkin, but now your hankie, on your worked-over plate.  Seriously, a snotty dinner ain’t cute, so think before you blow your schnoz at the table.  Bon Appétit.

Spring 2012 RTW: Fancy Pants

Alice + OliviaPorts 1961Anna SuiChristopher KaneDouglas HannantAnn-Sofie BackBasso & BrookeJosie NatoriElie TahariRag & BoneHolly FultonYigal AzrouëlLacosteVera WangDoo.RiZac Posen

Tuesday’s Tarot

The Three of Pentacles is all about working together.  This card depicts a team reviewing and executing blueprints.  Plans have been drawn up; now it is time to evaluate and institute action with the cooperation of other skilled contributors.  We can’t build our own house by ourselves.  We need the assistance of many to create the architecture of our dreams.  The Three of Pentacles reminds us of the importance of joining forces and relying on the expertise of others to complete major projects.  Find your place among the group and carry out your specific assignment with careful preparation.  If everyone does their part, the result will be more grand and amazing than anything you could accomplish on your own.

Listing with Craig

The invention of Craigslist has been both a blessing and a curse.  It’s convenient and easy, but also totally unregulated.  Here are five tips for success when using the free online classified.

1)      Describe the item accurately.  When listing an item on Craigslist include all relevant characteristics in your description.  Provide as much detail as possible.  Include the age and origin of the item if known.  Be honest about flaws or damage.2)      Provide recent photos.  As they say, a picture speaks a thousand words, so be sure to include several photos from different angles.  The photos should be recent and well lit.  Be sure to keep any personally identifying clues out of the background of the shot.  The more attractively you display the item, the more interest you will receive.3)      Price realistically.  It is Craigslist people, so don’t be thinking you are going to get retail value out of your item.  If you want to move the item, price it competitively while leaving yourself room to negotiate.  Be prepared to haggle, and don’t take it personally if folks offer you less.  Remember, you can always reject any unreasonable offer.4)      Don’t agree to sell an item on the phone or over email.  The item is not sold until you have cash in hand.  That touches on another important point: only accept cash.  You may feel obligated to accept a check, money order, or Paypal on big ticket items – Don’t.  The scammers will get you with fake cashier’s checks and all kinds of fraudulent bullshit.  Don’t risk it.  If folks want the item, they’ll figure out how to get the cash.  That isn’t your problem.  Ask naive Farrah from Teen Mom; she learned this lesson the hard way.5)      Don’t be a dumbass.  Always speak to the buyer over the phone first to get a feel for how they sound.  Use your intuition.  Whenever possible, meet the buyer away from your residence in a public place.  If you feel sketched, don’t risk it.  Better to be safe than dead.

Sunday with T.I.

Spring 2012 RTW: Beachy Bitches

Marc by Marc JacobsYigal Azrouel DKNYLibertineJason WuJeremy ScottBadgley MischkaDonna KaranThom BrowneMichael KorsRuffianPeter SomZero + Maria CornejoThreeasfour

Are we over ombré?

For the last few years, many ladies have been rocking the ombré hair as seen here on Lily Aldridge.  This low maintenance style actually looks better as it grows out with darker roots and lighter tips. Transitioning from solid root-to-tip color towards gradual dark-to-light makes a lot of sense for fall.  Summer’s highlights can appear a little harsh against fairer skin.  It never hurts to freshen and revise your presentation every season.Ombré mimics the hair’s natural darkening as the Sun retreats and most of us head indoors.  This look feels right for this time of year, no?When executed correctly, the color shift should be subtle and without clear lines of demarcation like Mz. Simpson.  It should not look like the tips of your hair were soaked in a bucket of bleach à la Teyana Taylor.  Some may argue that ombré is so over, but this inexpensive alternative to pricey and high maintenance highlights ain’t going anywhere.  This modern and easy color option flatters most folks.At the moment, Giuliana Rancic is the unabashed poster girl for this trend.  She’s been repping this look for a hot minute.  We agree her extensions are about six inches too long though, right?  Desperate much?Those who want to crank it up a notch, consider a gradient of red hues or working a strong bang into the mix.

The Rachel Zoe Project: Bitch gets paid for this shit?

Rodger took Jeremiah to the 7,000 square foot rental that Zoe insisted on leasing in anticipation of the baby’s arrival.  This decision makes no sense on a variety of levels.  For one, why spend oodles on furniture for a rental?  Second, what newborn needs 7,000 square feet?  Don’t newborns basically inhabit one foot of space surrounding their mother or father for the first several months of their lives?  Not to mention stylistically the house is totally unlike anything Rachel and Rodger have dwelled in previously.  All these considerations notwithstanding, in typical Team Zoe fashion, Rodger gave Jeremiah a two week deadline to complete the daunting assignment.  Jeremiah looked like he might pop a vessel when Rodger declared that completing the project on the super accelerated time line was his problem.

Rachel got a last minute call to style a shoot for Kim Kardashian.  Realizing the enormity of the ass she needed to cover, Rachel called Joey and Jeremiah for an emergency meeting at Zoe headquarters.  Joey received the call from dispatch and gave Jeremiah all of ten minutes to wipe the sleep out of his eyes and sculpt his Robert Pattinson ‘do before showing up at his door with an impatient toe tap.  The two rushed over to Zoe’s office curious to learn of their latest assignment.When they arrived, Zoe informed them that the world’s most overexposed and under-talented celebuwhore would require a minimum of two looks to shoot her perfume commercial the following day.  The competitive bitchery started brewing between the queens as soon as the Kardashian assignment was handed down from above.  They rushed off to Bismarck to collect every red gown and Brian Atwood shoe in the showroom.  Once at BPCM, Joey and Jeremiah bickered over their approaches to pulling items for the shoot.  Joey stuck with Rachel’s mantra of “more is more,” and Jeremiah thought it wiser to streamline the selections.  After the pull, J+J called Zoe, and she informed them that only one could attend the shoot tomorrow.  It was no surprise when she selected her favorite sycophantic gay Joey to attend in lieu of Jeremiah.  She sure has a way a pitting her staff against one another.  It’s no wonder she goes through employees like she does her Cosabella thongs.

The next day at the shoot, Zoe kissed Kardashian’s gargantuan money-maker before dressing her in two of the most uncreative looks ever.  First, Zoe put together a clichéd men’s button-down with boy shorts and a lace bra ensemble.  Even though this interpretation has been around as long as the white button-down, Rachel described the outfit as if it were a work of creative genius, and as if she had copyrighted that shit.  Rachel dressed Kardashian in an equally uninspired look for the second round of photos.  Joey greased Kim and slid her into a red stretch satin Dolce & Gabbana gown.  The obvious selection read more sausage casing than sexy.  A body-con red gown for Valentine’s Day?  This bitch gets paid for this unoriginal shit?  What a weak-ass lazy effort yo.