Earlier this week Tami Roman had a heart attack. The press described it as “mild,” which means it didn’t kill her. She’s currently recuperating. Tami is 41. Feel better mama. We need you. We’ve loved you since The Real World. No más drinking and no más smoking. Try yoga instead of lipo. 
Dolphin
Armband
Tramp Stamp
Kanji
Stars
Come up with something original like this Nipple Wizard or weird like the Lawn Mower.
After 27 days of sleep deprivation, I’m totally exhausted and annihilated. This got me wondering how long it will take me to catch up and recover. The most recent studies suggest that sleep debt can’t be repaid in one or two nights of longer snoozes. 
The average American gets 6.9 hours of sleep. Subjects restricted to 7 hours of sleep had slower response times during cognitive testing. Those restricted to 6 hours of sleep performed so poorly after several days of limited sleep they actually fell into micro sleeps during simple ten minute cognitive tests. 
Folks performed consistently well on tests with 8-9 hours of sleep, though I feel best with a luxurious full ten. This is one of the main reasons I’m not interested in children. Children steal sleep. 
With my cognitive capabilities greatly diminished by the chronic sleep deprivation, this math may be be wrong. By my calculations, I have 108 hours of sleep to recover. How much sleep do you owe yourself? Are folks bitchy or just tired? 
Today culminates and concludes the intensive program I participated in every single one of the last 26 days. No it wasn’t a fat farm, and it wasn’t rehab you bitches.
Just under 40 people from all around the world participated. Over the last few days, people have been frantically collecting numbers, email addresses, and making big promises to meet up soon. Can folks just admit this over-emotional, hyper-attachment is mostly a big bag of bullshit? 
It’s like summer camp: a short, intense bonding experience. Honestly, how many people do you still speak to from summer camp?
Of the forty or so people I was forced to spend the last 26 days straight with, there are approximately 4 I’m interested in keeping up with in the future. I will make sure those people know how to contact me and I them. I prefer to keep a tight circle and put energy into people that don’t make me want to burst into flames. Anymore, pretenses to the contrary wear me out.
Enough with the Facebook. I have never had a Facebook page and I will never have a Facebook page. Facebook encourages some fake fuckery, as if you can collect friends like trading cards. As long time readers know, I value privacy over accessibility. I realize I’m in the extreme minority on this point, and I promise I understand and still ♥ you even if your are a FB fanatic.
I know goodbyes are difficult, but I refuse to undignify myself by lubricating the farewells with a bunch of false promises.
Yves Saint Laurent
Alexander McQueen
Valentino
Nina Ricci
Bottega Veneta
Oscar de la Renta
Yves Saint Laurent
Yes Joanie everyone’s staring at you. You know you’re not exactly at your fighting weight.
Try me. 
I should not be allowed to drink at work functions, or at all honestly. 
You don’t get to have this. Go sit over there. All you get to do is watch.
Is it me, or is everyone and her aunt pregnant right now? 
Really with the covers? Snooks I get, but Reese, really? I know Lainey thinks this is a PR strategy executed by Reese’s team. If it is a PR stunt, it’s a shitty, boring, pathetic one. This is beneath you Witherspoon.
Enough with the Demi redux. 
I’m not offended by the pregnant nudity, I’m repulsed by that dead fish look in her eyes. Smize bitch. 
Kourtney shamelessly used her pregnancy as a diversionary tactic. Don’t forget Uma’s change of life baby. 
When’s the last time you had a Riesen? Lately, I’ve been devouring the chocolate covered caramel candies with a frequency that borders on obsession. Stop judging me sugar-free bitches. 
Gonna go see The Hunger Games this weekend? Sneak some Riesens into the theater, they’ll give you something to chew on during the suspenseful moments. Take a big bag, I hear the run time on this movie exceeds 2 hours. Don’t know about you, but this is the first movie in quite a while I’ve really been anticipating. Please let it be the anti-Twilight. 
