Monthly Archives: November 2012

Get a Ring Off It

So I mentioned before that it may not be clean if it has a ring on it, and that just isn’t always true.  Hard water causes mineral deposits no matter how liberally you bleach. Fear not, you needn’t appear filthy when hard water is the true culprit.For some of you, this will sounds like a skeevy suggestion.  If the idea of sticking your hand in the toilet, gloved or not, makes you want to heave, delegate this task to someone less squeamish. Cut the water flow to the commode.  Use a bucket of water to gravity flush the water level below the ring.  Use fine sand paper, or I’ve also heard folks recommend a pumice stone to scrape the mineral ring away.  It should chip right off.  

Enjoy your blinging bowl. 

It’s not clean if….

there’s a ring around itthere’s a layer of dust on itthere’s a pubethere are water spotsit hasn’t been washed between visitors

you just febrezed itit’s smelly in the pitsit’s growing slime

 

Bundle

MissoniMarc JacobsChloéChristian DiorYohji YamamotoPrabal GurungMarc Jacobs

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: Thanks for the Hospitality

As far-flung relatives fling themselves back to wherever they came from, the horror stories of bad manners, ungrateful behavior, and petty criticisms have begun to trickle in from weary hosts.  Since apparently many of us are totally lacking in self-awareness, here are a few examples of how we drive our thankless hosts to the brink.

Even though curious and tempted, don’t snoop.  Most obviously, it is rude and invasive.  When you go where you aren’t supposed to, you may not like what you find.  Even though I’m a big proponent of honesty, guests should compliment and not criticize.  Not feeling flush with praise?  Then just shut the fuck up.  Don’t feel the need to fill the silence with negative picky noise. Arrive and depart in a timely fashion.  When a person prepares an elaborate sit down meal, timing matters.  Your tardiness fucks up the delicate order.  On the flip side, hosts please plan your meal with room to spare.  Nobody really enjoys waiting four hours to eat.  A substantial wait guarantees that guests will get hungry, cranky and bitchy. 

Boycott Black Friday

Is it me, or did the Black Friday propaganda machine work overtime this year?  The more hysterical and bombastic the marketing campaigns became, the more I dug into my commitment to buy absolutely nothing on the national day of accumulation. Here are a few more productive ways to spend your day then beating a bitch over a HDTV at Best BuySince you ate 3 days worth of food in one sitting yesterday, why don’t you move your ass?  Hike, bike, skip, or strut in the opposite direction of the mall.  Show visiting guests your neighborhood by foot.  Walk the dog.  Collect firewood.  Rollerskate. Catch up on new music as you clean your house.  Stow the remnants of fall and prepare for winter.  Declutter and donate.  Rotate the wardrobe.Marathon a show you’ve been meaning to watch.  HomelandAmerican Horror StoryDownton Abbey. Or my personal favorite as of late, Made in Chelsea.  Many of you work hard and actually deserve several hours of lazying about without judgment.  Enjoy a day making homemade gifts for the holidays as a healthy “fuck you” to consumerism.  Rather than spending, can you repurpose and improve shit into something you want to keep or give? 

Read a beautiful book from cover to cover.

 

thanks a bunch

Nostess

Apologies to all you Hostess lovers, but honestly I’m not too sad that the baking behemoth has finally collapsed under its own weight.  Setting aside the tragedy of lost jobs in an already shitty employment environment, Hostess is a company woefully out of touch. I suspect Hostess is conveniently using the labor strike to save face from an already bleak financial unraveling.  (The bankruptcies aren’t exactly a secret.)  Who can sympathize when their position is a result of blind insistence in producing antiquated bake goods with a whittling demand?  Hostess makes Twinkies, CupCakes, Ding Dongs, Ho Ho’s, Sno Balls and Donettes, among other partially hydrogenated, high-fructose corn syrup, and animal fat-laden, shelf-stable bready delights.  While some of us were brought up with Sno Balls in the lunchbox, I seriously doubt the Hostess generation is passing that unhealthy love of snack caking on to their own kids.

Knowing what we know about nutrition (virtually nothing, but more than we used to?), show me a person who should be eating that artery-clogging cream-filled crap.

I’m left to wonder what will fill gas station shelves now that the Hostess Fruit Pie is no more.  Please Dear Lord let it be lard-free. 

 

Kenya Moore gets Wiki-Bombed

One of my favorite things in life is catching an unintended editing error – like an errant boom mic or funny typo.  So behold my delight when I skimmed Kenya Moore’s Wiki page last night and caught this unauthorized entry.  It’s not the most clever web burn, but congratulations Kenya!  A Wiki-bomb means you’ve officially arrived.

Sunday with Chloë Sevigny