Monthly Archives: December 2012

the (not) current rotation: solstice edition

Fleet Foxes ~ MykonosSky Ferreira ~ 108Foals ~ Spanish SaharaEmad Ashour ~ Taksim Cello I

Pre-Fall 2013: Bottega Veneta

Notwire

After finding out my favorite Coachella spot was COMPLETELY reserved by one greedy party for the first weekend, I hit Hotwire in the hopes of finding a hidden deal.  Hotwire yielded favorable results for my recent trip through the Pacific Northwest.  This time, not so much.  During this search, I found the taxes and fees bananas, and significantly more than I remember from previous reservations.  Usually after a booking, I rush to compare the advertised room rate to the Hotwire rate I just booked.  Well this time, with taxes and fees, I ended up paying $13 more than if I had booked directly through the hotel’s site.  This has NEVER happened to me before when booking through Hotwire.  Usually, I get to look forward to a good gloat.   I was robbed of that opportunity, and I’m fucking bitter.  I love a bargain, but you gotta read the fine print, especially with these NO REFUND sites.  $13 isn’t a that big of a deal, but it still just gets my goat.  Gouging hotels rates are just the beginning; the entire experience of Coachella = an unbelievable financial racket.   

Pre-Fall 2013: GUCCI

Heads in Beds

This book Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality by Jacob Tomsky has been getting a lot of shine, so I Kindled it to see if it indeed included any salacious insider gossip.  Let me save you the trouble – this tell-all doesn’t tell much about the hotel industry or human nature that you don’t already know.Tomsky started in hospitality at the bottom of the valet pile in New Orleans, and eventually made his way up to third-in-command at a mid-to-high-end Manhattan hotel he calls “Bellevue” to protect its identity.  Tomsky works primarily as a front desk clerk.  The self-serving thesis of this book?  Heavily tip the front desk clerk with “bricks” ($100s) or “baby bricks” ($20s) to score under-the-table upgrades.  Throw some money around at the desk and you too can enjoy a $4 comped bottle of shitty pinot.  How Fancy.The inverse is also true.  Mistreat your wife, make a racist comment to the cabbie, or fart downwind from the all powerful desk clerk and find yourself key bombed.   Tomsky will stick you with a bunk key card, book you in the shittiest room, or one that gets all-night phone calls because the room number matches 1+ the local area code and every ninny in the hotel forgets to dial 9 for an outside line.  Remember to be on your very best behavior or the desk despot will punish you!Tomsky promises park views, late check outs, and express check-in if you slide him some cash.  But I don’t really want or need any of that.  Fuck the view.  I’m sleeping here.  Can you get me a clean  room with that $20?  Probably not.  Even the finest hotels suffer from inconsistent housekeeping.  I don’t care about stealing from the mini-bar.   If you do, Tomsky says go wild; the hotel will comp the oft-disputed charges. 

Bribing people to get good service isn’t exactly a profound revelation.  This book is too light on the hookers and diva celebrity behavior (Brian Wilson is the best you got, really?), and too heavy on the unions and the obvious.  As for crazy stories from the hospitality industry, I’ve heard more riveting cum-splattered tales from my Aunt Debbie who runs a Motel 6 in Salina

Pre-Fall 2013: Zac Posen

Things I do that make no sense

I add an extra bucket of water to my high efficiency washer because I don’t think it fills up enough. 

I hover over any and all public toilet seats and even some of my friends’ toilet seats.  I wash down supplements with Diet Coke

 

 

Brow Addendum: Castor Oil

My girl Annie sent me an email that I think is worth sharing with you.  Annie is an eyebrow goddess, and therefore I implicitly trust her advice (though I haven’t yet tried this trick myself).

Here is her brow wisdom.

DC,

Two words for you:  castor oil.  Rub it in 2 times a day, then use what remains on a finger on lashes.  You’ll find it is in almost all brow/lash growth products, and that is actually how I fell upon that beauty jam.

Love,

AM

Castor oil has many useful applications, including breaking up scar tissue I hear.  One word of caution, after some advice from a well-known body worker, my friend Trisha rubbed castor oil all over her midsection in an effort to break up scar tissue from a gnarly accident and subsequent surgeries.  Trish tends to do things balls to the wall and the intensity of her bedtime castor oil application wasn’t any exception.  The next morning after a vigorous 2 hour yoga intensive, Trisha darted back to her apartment, but didn’t quite make it before she shit her pants.  Even worse?  She dropped her drawers and ran up the stairs Porky Pig style (shirt + no pants), and a dude was walking his dog in the alley and caught her bare shitty ass running up the stairs.  Let Trisha’s humiliation serve as your warning.  Castor oil is great, but take it easy or you can shit your pants.

4 gifts under $50, fuck you GOOP

Macallan Scotch.  Tasty.  Not too personal, but still leaves a warm feeling in the gut.  Passes the booze snob test.  Generally speaking, the older the scotch, the pricier the bottle. A homemade apple pie is work intensive and that’s why it is a meaningful gift.  Cookies, eh.  Taking the time to peel apples and kneed dough demonstrates true love and generosity.   Even though the ingredients aren’t expensive, I like that a pie is a substantial baked good gift that can feed a whole family.Pink Himalayan Sea Salt is high in trace minerals and is super pretty too.   You can cook or serve on these Pink Himalayan Sea Salt blocks.  A pink salt block is an original gift for culinary have-it-alls and surprisingly affordable. Ya’ll know I heart some paper, including these Fringe Studio stationery sets.  Find them for half price at the high-end department store outlets.  Cute quality cards please almost any lady (and inclined gent) from 8 to 80 years old.