Monthly Archives: January 2013

Spring 2013 Couture: Jean Paul Gaultier

Merrell Barefoot

I thought I liked those stupid J-41 shoes, but after shredding 2 pairs in quick succession the shoddy fabrication became a deal-breaker.  I’m on to a fresh set of Merrell Barefoot which are so much more durably constructed. Super lightweight and narrowly tailored to the foot in keeping with the latest running principles, these shoes work for the daily grind and rise to the challenge of a hike.  I find them comfortable, cute, and travel-friendly. 

Spring 2013 Couture: Valentino

SAGS 2013: If you care what they wear

Jane Krakowski wore KauffmanFranco – best color, unforgivable tailoring.

Zac Posen really only makes variations of one basic gown, but it is a damn fine gown – as seen here on dingbat Amanda Seyfried.

Boldest couple debut: Vincent Kartheiser and Alexis Bledel.  Our little Rory Gilmore loves her co-stars doesn’t she?

Anne Hathaway demonstrates the most ill-advised use of a Giambattista Valli dress.

The Jenny Packham girls, the better version above on Jenna Fischer and the lesser below on Kelly Osbourne.

The head to toe hell no – Sofia Vergara in Donna Karan.

Claire had nowhere to go but down after her last showing, but the aging makeup and side boob vadge action aren’t working in this Givenchy. Giuliana is showing positive progress on probation after her last fashion felony in this far less offensive Max Azria.

Elisabeth Moss gives some gams in Dolce & Gabbana.

Can you feel the tension in this high-fashion face off between January Jones in Prabal Gurung and Jessica Paré in Jason Wu?  The straps on the Jason Wu look a bit like suspenders.  I appreciate that January Jones doesn’t dress for the men, but could she pick something flattering just once?

Most timelessly spectacular putting all these young bitches to shame – Mizz Jessica Lange.

Jessica Chastain contends for best dressed in Alexander McQueen, but the lipstick is wrong and she needs to whiten her teeth.

Gorgeous and talented Jennifer Lawrence has no fucking clue how to dress herself.  Christian Dior can throw couture at her the whole award season through, and she’ll waste every opportunity with the wrong hair, jewelry, and makeup.

Julianne Moore should only let Tom Ford dress her because this Chanel is a fucking floral flat-tittied disaster.

What do we think of these two?  Jennifer Westfeldt looks better than usual if a tad boobish in Blumarine.

Let’s start with the hair – an obvious hot mess, move down to the 3D bustage on this strange Vivienne Westwood, glance at those lame duck shoes and declare Nicole Kidman an epic dud.

Me likey Nina Dobrev in this Elie Saab, even if it is quite derivative of Emma Stone in Calvin Klein from a season or two ago.

Look at our little Kiernan Shipka all grown up in this Oscar de la Renta.

Sunday Birthday Party

Alan CummingLily DonaldsonNarciso RodriguezBridget FondaDonna ReedMikhail BaryshnikovLiu WenTrickyDaisy Lowe

The disturbing morph of Cat Power into Aggy Deyn?

Caught Cat Power the other night and she was her usual hot mess.  I was so distracted by her morph into Aggy Deyn, I barely paid attention to her manic distractions.  Check it.  Above Cat Power.  Below Aggy Deyn.  

Spookily similar right?

We know that Ribisi formerly dated Mizz Chan for several years….

…before quickly wedding Aggy Deyn after courting for only a heartbeat.

Just saying this whole scene is a little Single White Female

The Most Annoying Question

I am not a fan of chitchat.  To paraphrase Bethenny Frankel (sorry), I don’t like small talk, I like big talk.  Perhaps the most annoying question – more annoying than “where are you from?” or “what do you do?” is – What kind of music do you listen to?I fucking loathe this question for a myriad of reasons.  First, when asked my mind inevitably goes blank, and all I can think of is Bob Marley.  This answer is almost as annoying as the question because who the fuck doesn’t like Bob MarleySecond, it’s a loaded fucking question.  The asker is really leveraging this question to bathe you in judgment.  For example, if you say indie, then you become Indie and all that it implies.  The most commonly tired-ass trite answer to this question is, “…anything but country.”  But for those hedgers, I have one word for you: Jolene.   If you go super obscure, you risk looking like a try-hard douche, and if you answer Maroon 5, then you are a douche. Third, the people who like to ask this grating question also like to follow it up with a pop-quiz.  Oh, you like techno, have you heard the new Trentemøller?  (Word of advice, if you must answer this dreadful question don’t ever answer with “techno” even if you fucking love techno).  Oh, you like The White Stripes, have you heard Jack White’s new solo album?  These questions just become an opportunity for the asker to act like an all-knowing asshole.  Asking someone’s music taste is a generic inquiry and answering it is rife with potential dignity issues.  Nobody really cares what kind of music anybody listens to anyway, so let’s all come up with some new thinly-veiled opportunity for judgment.

 

Spring 2013 Couture: Christian Dior

AFRICA

Please tell me that you are watching this gorgeous BBC/Discovery multi-part special featuring different regions and wildlife of Africa.  Three of seven episodes have aired, so far we’ve seen creatures of the Congo, Kalahari, and  Savannah.

There are black rhinos gently nuzzling in the moonlight. Enjoy lions bitch-fighting in the dirt.Watch to find out why this Shoebill is rude.  If none of that interests you perhaps the elephant wang will.  Get a load of that trunk.