Monthly Archives: June 2013

Sunday with Old-Timey Porn

PINK AND BUSHYFLIPSMOKING SEXY3 WAY OLD TIMEY BOOBSON THE DRESSERVINTAGE ORGYSWIVEL

Things I do that make no sense…

9 OF SWORDSRead my own tarot and then ignore the outcome to my own worst detriment.  DERMAPLANINGSpend more money on fancy facial treatments than I do on health insurance. ALEC BALDWINYell at people for things that aren’t my business and I don’t really care about. ONLY IF I LET YOU IN

Seriously consider purchasing a house you can only access by a treacherous and steep hiking path up a mountain.  For real.  Y U MAKE NO SENSE

4 for Friday: Turn it Out Tonight

TUNIC 2Feelin’ the easy, alluring, effortlessness of a tunic right now.  TUNICRIHANNA FANNY PACKI’m obsessed with my fanny pack.  Keeps the hands free for dirty work. RIHANNA LOVES FANNY PACKSCANDY COLORED TOESUsually I prefer neutral, but tonight, why not candy-coated toes?NARSCARA DELEVINGNEModern summer makeup in four words: strong brow, neutral lip.CARA DELEVINGNE 1See you tonight sexy bitches. WERK

should i be concerned?

FREUD…that my therapist insists on hugging me goodbye?OOPS

…that I am really not all that religious about my sunscreen application?BEARDED LADY…that long black hairs grow from my chin?SHOOT CUPID

…that my friends want to set me up?UNCLAIMED

…that my nosy aunts won’t quit nagging me about unclaimed property?

CONCERN

it isn’t summer until…

REED'S GINGER BREWS…you’ve enjoyed a Reed’s Ginger BrewDUCK DUCK GOOSE…you’ve played duck, duck, goose with some kids in the yard.   FEET FIRST…you’ve plunged in feet first.TRAFFIC…you’ve experienced gridlock.  MOSQUITO…you’ve been bitten by a mosquito. DRINK OUTSIDE…you’ve enjoyed a drink outdoors.WEDDING

…you’ve attended a wedding.TAN LINES

Resort 2014 ~ Valentino

VALENTINO RESORT 2014 9VALENTINO RESORT 2014 6VALENTINO RESORT 2014VALENTINO RESORT 2014 5VALENTINO RESORT 2014 2VALENTINO RESORT 2014 4VALENTINO RESORT 2014 3VALENTINO RESORT 2014 7VALENTINO RESORT 2014 8

Oh Yeezus

KANYE YEEZUSSo I’ve been listening to Yeezus for almost a week now.  Some people love it.  Some people hate it.  Some people just repeat opinions they hear on Pitchfork.  I’m not one of those people.  KANYE WEST YEEZUSTo succinctly summarize Kanye’s problem: he lacks credibility.  While lecturing us on materialism, he name checks Alexander Wang all while playing designer with his very own weak-ass ready-to-wear collection.  Kanye, you wish you were Alexander WangKanye, you wish you were Riccardo Tisci.  (Or you wish you were in Riccardo Tisci allegedly whatever.)  How can a man that is shamelessly reproducing with the Kueen of Konsumption lecture anyone?  Kanye maintains his trademark anger on this album, but on Yeezus it feels particularly misdirected.  For all his race-based indignation, I suspect the last time Kanye West felt legitimately persecuted is when Alber Elbaz had the good sense to deny his ass from the Lanvin show. KANYE WEST YEEZUS COVER ARTMy Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is a really incredible and incomparable record.  I don’t expect every record Kanye makes to eclipse BDTF, but Yeezus isn’t at all fun.  Kanye borrows from a somewhat diverse (if predictable) musical cannon ranging from Billie Holliday (vis-à-vis Nina Simone) to Charlie Wilson, but the vocal layering never quite gels.  It feels very mash-up and less integrative than his previous application of this well-worn technique.  KIM AND KANYEKanye fancies himself a pioneer and taste-maker, but his private and personal decisions of the last year prove he’s no visionary.  Yeezus ain’t all that innovative.  Kim is so over, and bathed in her low-budget, mainstream media-whore stank Kanye’s all but over too.KANYE LOVES PARIS

I’d Rather Be a Dick Than a Swallower

Sunday Birthday Party

SELMA BLAIR BLOWSSelma BlairSTEVE SHELLEYSteve ShelleyCHICO DEBARGEChico DeBargeFRANCES MCDORMANDFrances McDormand

ALFRED KINSEY

Alfred Kinsey

JORDANJordanROBERT HUNTERRobert Hunter

BOB FOSSE

Bob Fosse

4 for Friday

YOGA TIMES SQUAREHappy Solstice!  Today we welcome summer.  I will complete 108 sun salutations to initiate in the new season.  The practice helps me shed old energy and embrace the future.  If my tan so far is any indication, this summer is going to be the best summer ever.  KIM AND KANYENo those bitches didn’t name that baby North West.  For fucksake. KIM AND KANYE MET BALL

PAULA DEEN LOVES BLACK PEOPLEIn this week’s non-bombshell news, is anyone actually surprised that Paula Deen is a racist?  OPRAH KNOWS ABOUT PAULA DEENFor today’s overreaching bossy advice I command you go outside and smile at a stranger.  Okay, fine, sneer if you want to, but go outside.  REESE BITCHFACE