Monthly Archives: October 2013

The Seven Sisters

PLEIADESHappy Halloween!  We all know the well-worn candied cultural associations of our favorite day of spook, but what do you know about the underlying Astrological meaning?  At one point in time, Halloween was the midpoint between the Equinox and the Solstice known as a cross-quarter day (this midpoint has shifted to later in November as the universe has matured).   Tradition holds that at midnight, halfway between dusk and dawn, the cluster of the Pleiades culminates in its highest and most visible place in the sky.  During this time the stars known as the Seven Sisters shine especially brightly.  With the veils between the living and dead whisper thin, Pleiades acts as a star gate which allows the souls of the recently departed to pass through to the beyond.  SEVEN SISTERS

 

The Current Rotation: Farewell October

 AWOL NATION SAILSail • AWOLNATION • DJ Slink’s remix + Dubstep remixDANCE HALL DAYSDance Hall Days • Wang ChungKANYE WEST ALL FALLS DOWNAll Falls Down • Kanye WestLORDE ROYALSRoyals • Lorde (I fruitlessly tried to resist, but I’m not made of stone people.)NICKI BLUHMRavenous • Nicki Bluhm & The Gramblers

PEARL JAM LIGHTENING BOLT

PendulumPearl Jam

Kanye Killed the Kardashians

KIM KANYE NORTHThe Kardashians are over.  You may feel like those over-saturated fame whores have already overstayed their welcome.  I agree.  This overness is different than justifiable Kardashian fatigue.  Sunday’s episode triggered the Kardashian kollapse and you can thank Kanye for the downfall. KOURTNEY AND KRISKanye’s unwillingness to allow North to be filmed for the show changes everything.  We know Kim from the inside out.  Literally.  She can’t give it all away and then decide to snatch it back and expect her voyeuristic fanbase to remain loyal.  We want to see Kim as a mother: changing the diapers, getting barfed on, all that delicious misery.  How can they expect to successfully film around Kim being a mom?  Withholding goes against the very Kardashian kore.  You simply can’t film a birthing episode without a baby.  They prep the nursery.  We see the ultrasound.  We admire Kim glammed at the hospital.  The baby is the big finish – the money shot.  Kim should know a little something about that. KIM AND KANYE KUWTKNothing can last forever.  The hypnotic Kardashian trance of hair and ass had to eventually lift like a cloud of mustard gas.  Unless Kylie and Jaden film a sex tape, I wonder how the family will fill the next several contractually obligated seasons of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.  Either Kanye sacrifices his first born to the insatiable child-eating E! Gods or we can blissfully kiss the Kardashians goodbye. NORTH WEST

Welcome to My Bathroom

FROM THE SHOWER

DOUBLE SINKS

This bathroom was such a dump (pun intended) when I got a hold of this place.  Let me put it this way: there was a sink in the closet.  Yeah, I tore down the wall and made a mega bath complete with a glam station.

SINK + SHOWER

I replaced everything from floor to ceiling.  I ripped out all the old fixtures and cabinetry.

VANITY REFLECTION

I added new lighting.  So much lighting my contractors were afraid I might burn the building down.  Don’t worry; I installed a dimmer.

FLAIRNOOK

This right sink and this back nook were all in the master closet before.  Random.

FASH ILLUSSIDE ANGLE SINKSTWO GIRLS

I put in kitchen sink faucets that detach for easy cleaning.

SINK

SHOWER DOOR

I took out the crappy bathtub from the seventies and put in this luxurious porcelain tile shower.  This shower is my everything.

SHOWERCAM00461CAM00462VANITY ARTGLAMMING STATION

Glam Station.

DOUBLE SINKSLONG VIEW

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: The Noid

CAT AND BRAINS

Okay, so the Halloween Party last night was super fun.  Good Group.  Except for one.  You know the one.  That one motherfucker nobody likes: the Noid. THE NOIDHe would splooge into the circle, and I would politely duck elsewhere.  Illiterate to basic social cues, when this dude approaches, people look around nervously.  He’s a loud, rude, narcissistic, interrupting attention hog.  He eyefucks the women and cock compares men.  He’s that guy.HATE THAT GUY

And my friend is dating him.  Uhggg.TEEN MOM 3

When I was younger and more naive, I would have tried to fervently convince her that this dude was at best annoying and at worst predatory, but now I’m wise enough to know that it would do no good.  I’ve learned you just have to put up with the obnoxious people your friends date and hope none marries the Noid.

OWL AND GANESHA

No matter how gross, unfaithful, violent, offensive, or irritating your friend’s fucktoy is, you just have to put up with him until they get tired of fornicating.  Once the delusion of lust wears off, hopefully your smart friend will see this asshole for who he is – an embarrassing douche.

cid_444

In addition to getting bossy with my friend, the younger, dumber me would have allowed aforementioned asshole to drag me into his asshole Olympics during which I would have felt compelled to win the gold medal in assholery.  The older and tireder me has no extra energy for such fuckery.  A confrontation would have fueled his attention-suck and ruined my fun time.  So when he appeared, I disappeared.  Nothing needles an attention whore like non-reaction.

NOT THE NOID

 HALLOWEEN FIRESIDE

Five More Last Minute Halloween Costumes

Rachel ZoeRachel Zoe Shops For Toys In Beverly Hills

Bell Bottoms + sky-high platforms + every accessory you own at once + Starbucks + a lobotomy

RACHEL ZOE STARBUCKS

Gwyneth Paltrow

GWYNETH PALTROWYour most expensive white dress + a flat iron + an air of superiority. GWYNETH BOOK SIGNINGLeo DiCaprio

Cargo shorts + smugness + electronic cigarette + twenty extra pounds + Victoria’s Secret catalog + hangers-on

Leonardo Di Caprio joing sonny day Miami Pictured: leonardo de caprio Ref: SPL484557  220113   Picture by: Splash News Splash News and Pictures Los Angeles:	310-821-2666 New York:	212-619-2666 London:	870-934-2666 photodesk@splashnews.com

Simon Cowell

SIMON COWELL GROSS

A deep V + alert nipples + self-tanner + a complete lack of moral compassSIMON COWELL

Waldo

WALDO

 Red and white striped hat + striped shirt + jeans + glasses

Spring 2014 RTW.Electric Feathers.volume

ELECTRIC FEATHERS SPRING 2014 RTW 5ELECTRIC FEATHERS SPRING 2014 RTW 2ELECTRIC FEATHERS SPRING 2014 RTW 3ELECTRIC FEATHERS SPRING 2014 RTW 6ELECTRIC FEATHERS SPRING 2014 RTWELECTRIC FEATHERS SPRING 2014 RTW 7ELECTRIC FEATHERS SPRING 2014 RTW 1ELECTRIC FEATHERS SPRING 2014 RTW 8ELECTRIC FEATHERS SPRING 2014 RTW 4

Spider Cider

SPIDER CIDERWith the Halloween Party this weekend, I’ve decided to pull out an old crowd-pleaser of a warm cocktail ~ Spider Cider!

BIG POTTake one big pot.  Place over burner on warm heat.APPLE CIDERPour in 1 gallon high-quality apple cider or apple juice.

SPICE ROW

Add generous amounts of allspice, cinnamon, cloves, and optional orange peel.  Don’t be shy with the flavor!  Most people under-spice.

CIDER SPICE PACKETS

Allow the aroma to fill the house.  When the brew is sufficiently mulled, generously ladle it into mugs with a shot of top-shelf rum and serve with a cinnamon stick.  You’ll know it’s ready when the guests begin to gather around for a tipple.

RUMThis simple spiked & spiced beverage warms you like a gentle boozy hug, but I call it Spider Cider because it can creep up and bite you in the ass.  Enjoy.SPICED CIDER TRAY

Kanye’s lazy-ass proposal

PLEEEASE MARRYI feel strongly about marriage proposals which is probably why I haven’t been on the receiving end of one.  I believe in speaking to the parents first (credit to Kanye).  Give them an opportunity to object if they find the match unsuitable.  Proposals should be well-reasoned and planned (points for the orchestra).  Engagements should not happen as a reaction to a fight, a pregnancy test, or a health scare.  Take a knee.  Present a picture of an enticing life together.  Make promises you intend to keep.  Make eye contact and be sincere.KIM RING FLASHKnow what isn’t included in the simple list above, Kanye?  A fucking Jumbotron.  No woman really wants to be proposed to by a giant machine.  It is so insincere and impersonal.  For someone who is willing to smack a photographer to protect his privacy, a stadium-size proposal isn’t exactly discreet.  But you know what really chaps my ass about the Kanye-Kim proposal?  He stacked it on the top of a birthday.  There is nothing lazier than using the excitement of another event to prop up a lame and ill-thought out bid to wed.  No piggybacking on Christmas; hiding the ring under the tree with the socks and sweaters isn’t sufficiently special.  Proposers really shouldn’t hitch their request to the champagne-high of New Year’s.  An inquiry of this magnitude deserves its own day, its own care, and its own attention.  Yes, he threw some money at it, but ultimately: Lazy proposal = Lazy-ass husband.181190517CS00028_Givenchy_F