Monthly Archives: May 2014

RESORT 2015 roland mouret

 

ROLAND MOURET RESORT 2015 3ROLAND MOURET RESORT 2015 1 ROLAND MOURET RESORT 2015 2 ROLAND MOURET RESORT 2015 4 ROLAND MOURET RESORT 2015ROLAND MOURET RESORT 2015 5 ROLAND MOURET RESORT 2015 6 ROLAND MOURET RESORT 2015 7 ROLAND MOURET RESORT 2015 8

Demeter Clarc Tidy Tips: unexpected fixes

WRAPPING DRESSER1) Old dressers wonderfully organize gift wrap, boxes, tissue, and ribbons. GIFT WRAP DRAWERPAINTED SCREW

2) If you are struggling to remove a painted-on screw, use nail polish removing pads to soften the paint and catch a groove.

NAIL POLISH REMOVER PADS

3) Use days-of-the-week pill organizers to individually house small jewelry.PILL ORGANIZER

4) Instead of plastic, just use (and reuse) one paper apple bag for all your produce purchases.  PAPER PRODUCE BAG

 

 

RESORT 2015 burberry prorsum

BURBERRY PRORSUM RESORT 2015 7BURBERRY PRORSUM RESORT 2015 1BURBERRY PRORSUM RESORT 2015 2BURBERRY PRORSUM RESORT 2015BURBERRY PRORSUM RESORT 2015 3BURBERRY PRORSUM RESORT 2015 4BURBERRY PRORSUM RESORT 2015 5BURBERRY PRORSUM RESORT 2015 8

memorial day: to those who wear white well

BIANCA JAGGERThe white-wearing original, the namesake: Bianca Jagger.

CAROLINA HERRERA WHITE SUIT

Aristocratic all-white: Carolina Herrera. SEAN COMBS WHITE TUXSean Combs: White PartyCAM D WHITE JEANSCameron Diaz: Queen of the White JeanDITA AT DIORDita von Teese: Impeccable White Dior

Altoids Smalls

ALTOID SMALLSI come in close contact with at least 20-40 people everyday, and therefore I do my best to combat hot breath.  I prefer Altoids Smalls because they do not contain gelatin.  Diminutive yet powerful, I can discreetly pop a mini-mint and still carry on a conversation unobstructed.  For high-quality kissing, consider these a pre-smooch ritual.    ALTOIDS SMALL VARIETIESsmooch

RESORT 2015 maison martin margiela

MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA RESORT 2015 PAIRMAISON MARTIN MARGIELA RESORT 2015 SWEATERMAISON MARTIN MARGIELA RESORT 2015 FLAT BAGMAISON MARTIN MARGIELA RESORT 2015 WHITE TUXEDOMAISON MARTIN MARGIELA RESORT 2015MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA RESORT 2015 LEATHERMAISON MARTIN MARGIELA RESORT 2015 BLOUSEMAISON MARTIN MARGIELA RESORT 2015 BACK

Dear Tori, I don’t believe you.

(This is an unsolicited letter to Tori Spelling.  It is full of mean-spirited judgment and opinions and shouldn’t be taken seriously.)POOR TORI

Dear Tori,

I’m calling bullshit on you True Tori.  I don’t believe you didn’t know Dean was cheating.  I don’t believe that “Emily Goodhand” is the first and only affair.  If “Emily Goodhand” indeed exists, she’s obviously been paid for her contractually obligated silence.  I suspect there’s been a series of Goodhands in Dean’s pants.TORI DEAN THERAPY

You boo-fucking-hoo in therapy about wanting Dean to nurture you like a baby.  You’re a big girl.  You’re just unaccustomed to difficult times because your whole life has been cushioned by money and fame.  If I had to deal with your needy princess attitude, I would cheat on you too.  Where did you get the misguided notion that you are entitled to a fairy tale when you stole another woman’s husband?  He’s a cheater.  You’re a cheater.  Since you’re both morally lax filthy homewreckers, the demise of your ill-conceived relationship is a surprise to no one (least of all your cast aside ex-spouses).TRUE TORI UGLY CRY

Mrs. McDermott, you claim you can’t express anger.  Please, it’s obvious you are expressing your anger by forcing Dean to participate in a public flogging.  You just didn’t suspect the self-righteous masses to throw a few rotten tomatoes at your hypocritical ass too.  No one buys your poor, poor, Tori reality show narrative arc.  You are not a victim.  You made a series of selfish and immature decisions that have landed you in a shitbox.  You are the architect of your own misfortune.TRUE TORI KITCHEN FIGHT

Tori, I don’t believe you really had a migraine.  Photo-phobia is a common symptom for migraine suffers.  When I have a migraine, the room must be pitchblack.  You were basking in your hospital bed in full makeup with natural light pouring in from the windows in addition to the Lifetime camera crew’s bright-ass lighting rig.  The tide of public opinion has turned so strongly against you that I’m accusing you of scraping the bottom of the pity ploy barrel with a faked health crisis.  As an added bonus, the migraine spell conveniently forced Dean to nurture you like a baby.TORI HOSPITAL

With regard to your parenting, you should be ashamed.  Your own narcissistic desire for fame has clearly usurped the part of your brain and soul that houses your common sense, compassion, self-respect, and maternal instinct.  What kind of mother sells her divorce story despite the damage it will cause her offspring?  Those kids know everything, TRUST.  Thanks to Mom, now the whole mess is saved for posterity in the form of a low-rated Lifetime reality show.DEAN AND HATTIE

As for the future, Dean’s an opportunist.  I don’t think he’s ever cared about anyone but himself.  He isn’t going to change.  He’s not a good actor even when he’s trying to feign contrition to save his own ass.  If you stay together, he will continue to cheat.  If you don’t, you’ll be a divorced mom with 4 kids paying alimony to a cheating ex who’s out banging chicks.DEAN MCDERMOTT CHICKSAs my Mother told me often as a child: life is not fair.  People have suffered far greater tragedies than this.  You’ll survive.  Even though you are acting like a pathetic fool, we still all want the best for you.  Donna Martin Graduates!DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES

With ♥ even though I’m mean,

DC

p.s. that heart sweater is utterly heinous.TORI HEART SWEATER FUG

 

hausplantz

TALL SUCCULENTI enjoy a houseplant.  I just recently repotted a few that had outgrown their containers and it tickled me to no end.  I tell you, it’s the little things.

SPIDER PLANT REPOT

Folks spend a fortune on fancy air purifying systems.  We buy low VOC paint.  Parents work to eliminate every microbe and allergen from their child’s room.  We make things too complicated.  A few scattered houseplants will purify the air while producing oxygen.  Some plants are better at cleaning the indoor air than others, but mercifully these inexpensive and widely available varieties grow easily.

Spider SPIDER PLANT WHITE POT

Removes: benzene, formaldehyde, carbon monoxide and xylene

Snake SNAKE PLANT

Removes: formaldehyde

MumMUM

Removes: benzene

English IvyENGLISH IVY

Removes: airborne fecal matter, formaldehyde

Aloe Vera ALOE VERA

Removes: formaldehyde, benzene

HOUSEPLANTS

RESORT 2015 oscar de la renta

 

OSCAR DE LA RENTA RESORT 2015OSCAR DE LA RENTA RESORT 2015 1OSCAR DE LA RENTA RESORT 2015 8OSCAR DE LA RENTA RESORT 2015 2OSCAR DE LA RENTA RESORT 2015 3 OSCAR DE LA RENTA RESORT 2015 4 OSCAR DE LA RENTA RESORT 2015 5 OSCAR DE LA RENTA RESORT 2015 6 OSCAR DE LA RENTA RESORT 2015 7