8 douchey things dudes do at the gym

Douche dudes work out in beanies.  You might as well wear a t-shirt that says “I’m bald.”  Remove the beanie, douche.TEXTING DOUCHE

Douche dudes over train glamour muscles like biceps and under train functional strength like core.  Great, you can bench 350, but you can’t hold plank for one minute; you fucking weak-ass douche.WEAK DOUCHEDouche dudes grunt, slam weights, and engage in other attention-seeking behavior.  We don’t think you look strong, we think you sound dumb.GRUNT DOUCHEDouche dudes sit on workout machines and text.  Granted, workout machines are fucking useless and should be avoided, but they aren’t fucking bar stools, douche.TEXT DOUCHEDouche dudes swing their dick and nuts around when they should be contained in an appropriate garment.  If I can see the outline of the head of your peen through your shorts than you are a douche.DICK DOUCHEDouche dudes stand around in the locker room naked.  Put your clothes on, douche.NUDE DOUCHEDouche dudes drink protein shakes all day as if their job sitting on their ass selling insurance requires the physical stamina of erecting the Pyramids of Giza by hand.TWINKIE DOUCHE