Monthly Archives: December 2015

Fucking Flake / Uber Dick

BETTER PEOPLERecently, I worked with two people who possess selfish and annoying qualities.  The first one is a flake.  She wants to have meetings all the time.  In this group, it takes 15 back and forth emails to schedule a mutually-convenient time and place for everyone. Then she routinely cancels citing some dire (but in actuality not at all emergent) need to be with her kids.  She was almost an hour late to one of the three most important days of her job.  The reason?  She was so tired she just “crashed” the night before and then realized she had no gas on the way to work.  In my universe, neither are reasonable justifications for such serious lateness.  Her conduct is irresponsible, unprofessional, and annoying.   I don’t give a fuck about your kid’s pageant or any of that familial bullshit.  Spare me those sort of personal details in your excuse.  The reason you are bailing on a scheduled meeting has no bearing on the outcome of that decision – namely that now we all need to go through the tedious rescheduling process because of you – a meeting you insisted on in the first place. FLAKE

The other one is a new breed: an Uber Dick.  An Uber Dick is a person who wants to schedule all activities in close proximity to himself because he sold his car and now depends solely on Uber for transportation.  Don’t shift the burden of your transportation on to me, buddy.   This is the same dick who brags about the economy of going Uber.  Yeah Uber Dick, it’s a real money-saving strategy to use your Uber account to manipulate everyone into driving to you.UBER HATE

who’s afraid of feedback?

THURSTON MOOREI admire people who can take feedback with grace.  ‘Bout the only feedback I can tolerate is on a Sonic Youth record.  Recently I completed leadership of a program. I wanted to know what my students really thought, so I gave them free rein on providing me feedback.  I said “take out a blank piece of paper and write anything you think I should know about my performance or the program.”  I left the room.  I had one student collect all the reviews and put them in an envelope.FEEDBACK

I stared at that envelope for a week before I had the courage to open it.  I was sure that because I was hard on them – would you have pegged me as a pusher? – that they would be equally hard on me.  In all fairness, I should be willing to eat the the brutal honesty I so often serve others.WAY HARSHTurns out I worried for nothing.  The reviews are overwhelmingly positive.  99% of the students understand why I pushed.  I’ve learned to accept that I always provoke an angry 1% in any room I enter.  That’s just part of my charm.  Can’t win ’em all.RUM AND COKE

I suck at small talk: holiday party edition

OFFICEXMASUgh, I went to a holiday party tonight. It was work-related and therefore somewhat obligatory.  I’m really grateful to the woman who welcomed me into her home and makes me feel a valuable part of her business, so please don’t take the following rant as ingratitude.  I suck so much at small talk at these parties. What the fuck do you talk about?  I ask about the kids. I ask about work.  I ask about holiday plans.  I intently listen, but I never get comfortable.  I always feel ill at ease.  I know; this is why people drink.  I don’t drink and drive at all, and don’t drink at work functions, so no social lubricant for me.  I stayed just shy of 90 minutes.  I had probably 10 conversations, 3 of them meaty.  I’m pretty sure I offended someone in one of those conversations.  I was definitely awkward in another.  And in the last I had to do all the conversational heavy-lifting.  All three were tedious, and now I feel tired.  If I’m honest, the night peaked with delicious cheese and crackers and the M&M bowl.  Sidenote: Can we stop with the mini cupcakes?  They’re as dry and flavorless as my lame party chat.MINICUPCAKES