Ugh, I went to a holiday party tonight. It was work-related and therefore somewhat obligatory. I’m really grateful to the woman who welcomed me into her home and makes me feel a valuable part of her business, so please don’t take the following rant as ingratitude. I suck so much at small talk at these parties. What the fuck do you talk about? I ask about the kids. I ask about work. I ask about holiday plans. I intently listen, but I never get comfortable. I always feel ill at ease. I know; this is why people drink. I don’t drink and drive at all, and don’t drink at work functions, so no social lubricant for me. I stayed just shy of 90 minutes. I had probably 10 conversations, 3 of them meaty. I’m pretty sure I offended someone in one of those conversations. I was definitely awkward in another. And in the last I had to do all the conversational heavy-lifting. All three were tedious, and now I feel tired. If I’m honest, the night peaked with delicious cheese and crackers and the M&M bowl. Sidenote: Can we stop with the mini cupcakes? They’re as dry and flavorless as my lame party chat.