Category Archives: DIET

Giving Granola

Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight.

 - Albert SchweitzerHOMELESS HELP

For many years, I have struggled with how to respond to people standing on medians and corners waiving signs for money.  My knee-jerk response is at first sympathy, followed up immediately with a wallop of shame for my own abundance.  To talk myself out of doing something generous and to assauge my own guilt, I told myself that these desperate people were scammers or presumed how they might use any spare change I might give.  These excuses have never really sat quite right when deep down I knew I was just selfishly ignoring the obvious suffering of others.  BAD HEART GOD BLESSI consulted with my good friend Lisa, who has virtually single-handedly reformed syringe access legislation in Colorado (to support Lisa’s good work please visit and donate to the www.harmreductionactioncenter.org).  Lisa spends a significant amount of time involved with outreach, much of which involves contact with the homeless.  She’ll tell you stories that will crack your heart in two.  Seeing as I can’t afford to place cash to every outreached hand, I asked Lisa if she thought it would be appropriate to share food – granola bars – or something similarly individually pre-packaged – with those in need.  She concurred that from her experience with the community, this gesture would be welcomed and not ridiculed.    NEED HELPWouldn’t you know that just a day later, a rep for Kind Snacks stopped by my work and dropped off a few boxes of granola bars.  So technically, I was supposed to share the swag with my co-workers, but those bitches eat enough fucking granola, so I stashed the snacks in my car with the intention of distributing them to those lonely median-dwellers.  KIND BARSI’ve given out a few bars to different folks and the snacks are met with delight.  Yesterday, I gave a bar to a girl standing in the cold by an exit off-ramp.  The next day, at the same exit, in the same bitter cold, was the same girl.  I held another bar out the window.  She walked up to the car and took it from my hand.  HOMELESS HELP APPRECIATED

She lit up, “Thank you!  Did you give me one of these yesterday?”  

“Yes” I smiled back.

She looked at the bar in her hand, “These are good!  I was so hungry yesterday and I’m so hungry now.  Thank you so much.”

“I’m so glad you like them.” I choked back through a broken heart.

With this small exchange came total confirmation, and then the light turned green.  BIEBER GIVES

 

icy

FROSTY GLASSESWhen I remodeled my kitchen, I opted out of a freezer with a built-in ice maker.  In my experience, the ice that comes out of built-in ice makers usually tastes like whatever is in the freezer.  Gross.  Personally, I’m not a daily ice consumer, but if I am going to invest in an ice maker it’s gotta be the good ice.  Nugget Ice.NUGGET ICE While I’m saving up for my very own nugget ice maker, I’ve come up with a temporary solution for my icelessness.  I fill high-ball and pint glasses one eighth of an inch (+/-) full of filtered water and then freeze.  The glass gets nice and frosty and the water conveniently freezes into a cube in the bottom of the glass.  When guests come by, you have a frosty glass + ice already to go.  The presentation is enjoyable and unexpected.  This creative chilling method beats the hell out of messy, space-sucking ice trays which produce plastic-tasting cubes.     MAC ON ICE

 

TG TRUTH

STICK A FORK IN ITSo now that it is over, can we admit a few truths about Thanksgiving?  I hear a lot of people say that Thanksgiving is their favorite holiday.  When you peel away all the layers of butter and get to the core intention of gratitude, I understand the appeal of the holiday.  However in my practical experience, Thanksgiving celebrations rarely reflect that core intention.THANKSGIVING MYTHOne of the most annoying aspects of Thanksgiving is the collective white-washing we find so comforting with regard to the historical facts surrounding early settlers’ contact with native people.  Why are we still spewing this happy pilgrim / helpful native bullshit?  Not to get all preachy, but how ’bout we use Thanksgiving to highlight other examples of neo-colonialist exploitation happening right now?  Or better yet, take a trip to a Reservation and show the kiddies how great it worked out for those helpful “Indians.”  Even though this isn’t a new criticism, there’s still no new narrative. PILGRIM BULLSHITThanksgiving has become more a celebration of gluttony than gratitude.  Now I’m going in on the food  – which if you actually think about it is really disgusting.  The traditional Thanksgiving spread is a depressing two note tune.  SWEET or SAVORY.  There is usually nothing raw, scant spice, and little in the way of contrast.  Veggies drown in heavy sauces or casseroles.  Fruits slug through sugary syrups.  Almost everything else is brown or white.  Every year experts hotly debate the best way to prepare a moist turkey.  Brine?!  Parchment?!  Deep fry?!  Newsflash.  Any which way you prepare the turkey it will be dry and gross.  That’s because turkey is innately dry and gross.  No amount of submerging, poking, or braising the bird will change this eternal truth.  I watch people saw away at dry turkey every year.  No one ever compliments the turkey.  They compliment everything but the turkey.TURKEY REMNANTS

The art of conversation is apparently lost.  People truly don’t know how to communicate with one another anymore.  A series of rapid-fire questions isn’t a conversation; it’s an interrogation.  Don’t force me talk about being a vegetarian when everyone at the table is eating meat.  Don’t ask about work.  This isn’t a job interview.  I hate small talk.  There is an art to finding interesting and inclusive topics of conversation.  Engaging the group requires social tactical skill.  Cultivate it.  Myself included.  DEAD CONVERSATION

 

i’m grateful…

PEANUTS THANKSGIVING…to spend the day with kind, welcoming, and gracious people.yoga sunset…even though I’m working today; it’s a blessing because I love my job. VEG…for access to abundant fresh foods to prepare and share.VEG TG…most of all for you!  Happy Thanksgiving! DCPOOH AND PIGLET

 

Dandies Vegan Marshmallows

DANDIESI admit I long for the classic marshmallow-topped sweet potatoes every year at Thanksgiving, but I never get to enjoy them because of the non-vegetarian friendly gelatin in the marshmallows.  This year will be different because of Dandies vegan marshmallows.  In texture, taste, and quality they equal or exceed regular non-vegetarian marshmallows without relying on gelatin or non-vegan sugar.  Substitute Dandies for this year’s topping so EVERYONE can enjoy the sweet potatoes.  Yum!  SWEET POTATOES AND MARSHMALLOWS

4 for Friday

JUSTIN PB CUPSI’m munching Justin’s Organic Peanut Butter Cups.COLLARD GREENSI’m bouncing to Collard Greens. ZOILA CHAVEZ

I’m binge watching old Bravo programming (Flipping Out season 2 = fenomenal) on the Esquire Network.

BACON BOWLI’m horrified by the Perfect Bacon Bowl?!BACON AND MAC

Spider Cider

SPIDER CIDERWith the Halloween Party this weekend, I’ve decided to pull out an old crowd-pleaser of a warm cocktail ~ Spider Cider!

BIG POTTake one big pot.  Place over burner on warm heat.APPLE CIDERPour in 1 gallon high-quality apple cider or apple juice.

SPICE ROW

Add generous amounts of allspice, cinnamon, cloves, and optional orange peel.  Don’t be shy with the flavor!  Most people under-spice.

CIDER SPICE PACKETS

Allow the aroma to fill the house.  When the brew is sufficiently mulled, generously ladle it into mugs with a shot of top-shelf rum and serve with a cinnamon stick.  You’ll know it’s ready when the guests begin to gather around for a tipple.

RUMThis simple spiked & spiced beverage warms you like a gentle boozy hug, but I call it Spider Cider because it can creep up and bite you in the ass.  Enjoy.SPICED CIDER TRAY

Monday Morning Management Meeting: Put the Cookie Down

WON'T EATI attended a meeting the other day.  As a rough estimate, there were about 40 or so people there.  The professional gathering lasted just over 90 minutes.  During the brief assembly a number of people snacked.  This is a fit crowd and not a bunch of sedentary cubicle dwellers.  Still, they munched.  Some nibbled on some really smelly and random shit.  Like did that bitch just pull out a salmon roll? BUG SUSHI When did eating every second of the day become appropriate?  Barring some sort of specific health requirement, there isn’t any constructive reason to self-soothe through a meeting with food.  I never heard of anyone dying of starvation from waiting a whole 90 minutes between meals.  Furthermore because we care about manners here at Demeter Clarc, it’s rude to eat in front of others and not share.  If you don’t have enough raspberries for the room, then put them away.  GIMME SOME

Mexi-Fanta, Downton, & Suzie

MEXICAN FANTA ORANGEEven though it is so unhealthy, once in a while I allow myself a Mexi-Fanta in a glass bottle.  Mexi-Fanta is made with sugar instead of corn syrup and it is undeniably fucking sublime when served ice cold.  I justify the imported prices because glass bottled soda is cute to keep around and offer company as a fun alternative to the usual choices. SODA WITH STRAWDOWNTON ABBEY SEASON 4 LADY MARY AND GEORGEAre you watching season 4 of Downton Abbey?  I don’t want to spoil it, so I’ll give you a few days to catch up.  The ingenious among you will be able to figure out how to watch it even though it is airing now in the U.K.  The premiere was a snooze, but I’m holding out hope this show recaptures some of its season one glory.ANNA AND BATES

SUZIE KETCHAMBasketball Wives lost its luster a few seasons ago, but we need to address the Suzie situation.  I thought it would settle, but whatever “dental” work Suzie had done has rendered her unrecognizable.  I thought her cute little lisp was charming, and now she’s down right reptilian.  Unfortch.    SUZIE BB WIVES