Category Archives: FASHION

Let’s Catch Up

SLACK ASS

Sorry I’ve been kinda slackass.  I met somebody interesting, and we’ve been spending time together.  You know how it goes, girl.

VIEW PREMIEREThe “new” View sux.  I’m disoriented by the set change.  Rosie O’Donnell’s gastric sleeve operation seems to have concentrated her already abrasive nature.  I used to like her.  Now, not so much.   Whoopi seems super unhappy.  She should have accepted the contract buyout allegedly offered by the network and split to less hostile pastures.  Rosie Perez served as the least annoying addition to the stage, but her talent is wasted in this format.  I haven’t bothered to learn the Republican’s name yet.  She wears her hair in a layered bob, so that’s all I need to know about her. ROSIESI’m keeping up with the Spring 2015 RTW collections, but many have disappointed.  Bodycon’s been trending out for awhile now, but for Spring 2015 it is gone.  There were a number of voluminous and oddly shaped garments parading down the runways.  I’m all for avant-garde, but clothing must flatter first.  Distilling these trends into a wearable narrative may prove challenging. TOM FORD SPRING 2015 RTW

TOM FORD · SPRING 2015 RTW

ALIK AND LOUISE

The Made in Chelsea gang spent the summer in NYC.  The MIC NYC finale just aired so you can bingewatch the season on 4oD.  If you are like me, you’ll have opinions about Billie.  And please note Alik’s overly passionate succubus kissing style.  He looks like he’s going to swallow little Louise whole. BILLIEOn the Diet Coke substitution tip, faithful reader Leah Love suggested Perrier as a pleasing alternative.  I’m currently investigating.  Thanks for the suggestion Mizz Love.  (((Hugs babygirl))) PERRIERWorking the next 18 days straight, so don’t assume if I’m not on the daily that I’m dickmatized.  Just working hard bitches, thanks for your patience and understanding. ♥ DCHALF ASS

 

Spring 2015 RTW: Lisa Marie Fernandez

LISA MARIE FERNANDEZ SPRING 2015 RTW 1LISA MARIE FERNANDEZ SPRING 2015 RTW 9LISA MARIE FERNANDEZ SPRING 2015 RTW 2LISA MARIE FERNANDEZ SPRING 2015 RTW 3LISA MARIE FERNANDEZ SPRING 2015 RTW 4LISA MARIE FERNANDEZ SPRING 2015 RTW 5LISA MARIE FERNANDEZ SPRING 2015 RTW 6LISA MARIE FERNANDEZ SPRING 2015 RTW 7LISA MARIE FERNANDEZ SPRING 2015 RTW 8

Spring 2015 RTW: Nicholas K

NICHOLAS K SPRING 2015 RTW 7NICHOLAS K SPRING 2015 RTW 1NICHOLAS K SPRING 2015 RTW 5NICHOLAS K SPRING 2015 RTW 2NICHOLAS K SPRING 2015 RTW 3NICHOLAS K SPRING 2015 RTW 6NICHOLAS K SPRING 2015 RTW 4NICHOLAS K SPRING 2015 RTW 8NICHOLAS K SPRING 2015 RTW 9NICHOLAS K SPRING 2015 RTW 10

Spring 2015 RTW: Alexander Wang

ALEXANDER WANG SPRING 2015 RTW 3ALEXANDER WANG SPRING 2015 RTW 6ALEXANDER WANG SPRING 2015 RTW 1ALEXANDER WANG SPRING 2015 RTW 5ALEXANDER WANG SPRING 2015 RTW 2ALEXANDER WANG SPRING 2015 RTW 4ALEXANDER WANG SPRING 2015 RTW 7ALEXANDER WANG SPRING 2015 RTW 8

Spring 2015 RTW: Hellessy

HELLESSY SPRING  2015 RTW 1HELLESSY SPRING  2015 RTW 2HELLESSY SPRING  2015 RTW 3HELLESSY SPRING  2015 RTW 4HELLESSY SPRING  2015 RTW 5HELLESSY SPRING  2015 RTW 6HELLESSY SPRING  2015 RTW 9HELLESSY SPRING  2015 RTW 8

man buns

DREADY MAN BUNDready Man Bun.MAN TOP KNOTMan Bun Top Knot.MAN BUN PROFILEMan Bun Twist.MESSY MAN BUNMessy Man Bun.MAN BUN BLONDMan Bun Blond.MAN BUN NAPEMan Bun Nape.GREASY MAN BUNGreasy Man Bun.MAN BUN BEARDBearded Man Bun.MAN BUN BEHINDMan Bun Behind.

Fall 2014 Couture {Giambattista Valli}

GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 9GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 1GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 3GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 2GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 5GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 4GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 8GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 6GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 7GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 10

Fall 2014 Couture {Ulyana Sergeenko}

ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 5ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 1ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 8ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 12ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 7ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 13ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 6ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 4ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 11ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 9ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 10ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 3ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 2ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 14

Wedding Gown Rundown

JESSICA SIMPSON WEDDINGJessica Simpson wore custom Carolina Herrera.  It’s such a princess-y Jessica Simpson dress.  It is exactly what you’d expect her to wear.  I do like the candlelight color, the snatched waist, and the how the beading catches the light.  I don’t love the pattern of the beading on the skirt and the way it creates a weighty bedspread feeling to the bottom of the dress. JESSICA SIMPSON BRIDEOLIVIA PALERMOAlso in Carolina Herrera, I feel like Olivia Palermo is trying to be the hipster chick that wears Chuck Taylors to prom.  Like she’s above the fuss of an actual wedding dress.  She can only bother with a skirt and sweater (in the summer).  I offer you begrudging props for originality paired with an eyeroll, Palermo.  She looks way baked in this picture, no?  KANDI BURRESSKandi fucking Burruss.  Did you watch that hot fucking mess of a televised shitshow?  Coming to America, for real girl?  Today is just about dresses and this one makes me recall that line from Steel Magnolias, “Looks like two pigs fightin’ under a blanket.”  What do you expect from a designer who delivers your dress in a bedsheet?TAYLOR ARMSTRONGI threw Taylor Armstrong in here for a little Real Housewives compare and contrast.  She’s wearing Chagoury Couture.  The dress is dated; it’s giving me a very 1997 prom sensation. NAYA RIVERA REFLECTIONPoor Naya Rivera, attempting to bride her post-Big Sean pain away in Monique Lhuillier.  This dress is totally inappropriate for a Cabo wedding.  Could you imagine wearing all that lace and long sleeves in Mexico in the summerNAYA RIVERA WEDDING DRESSKALEY CUOCOKaley Cuoco opted for carnation pink Vera Wang.  I’m all for non-white, but this gown isn’t really that special.  The color borders on cloying. KATIE COURICCarmen Marc Valvo made Katie Couric’s dress for her ceremony in the Hamptons.  I know she’s nearing 60, but that has nothing to do with the bad cut, fabric, and color of this frock.  She could have looked a whole lot cuter, and it’s a damn shame she wore this disservice of a dress on such a blessed occasion.  KIM AND KANYEI actually like elements of Kim’s Givenchy dress, just not the part that looks like she’s wearing North’s bib.  The back is beautiful, especially with the totally impractical exaggerated veil.  For sure, that skinny white belt will be ripped off and all over the bridal runways next season – you heard it here first. KIM K WEDDING DAY