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Despite the fact I possess a doctorate degree, why is it physically impossible for me to empty a shredder without getting shreddings EVERYWHERE? Every single time. Have you ever farted in your car, exited the car, and come back several hours later to find the fart is still waiting for you?I’m living for old reruns of the RHNY right now. Those early days were truly the glory years of the franchise – when the most calculated move was renting a yellow Ferrari for summer in the Hamptons. Sometimes when my trash smells rank but the bag isn’t full, I put it on the porch and freeze it overnight. When I bring it back in, it doesn’t smell anymore.
I’m sure by now you know Sarah Jessica Parker rolled out an exclusive namesake shoe collection at Nordstrom. A few of these SJPs make me tingle. I especially like the Pffeiffer-era-Scarface late 70′s early 80′s disco references, but I could never wear most of these styles. My feet are wide and ugly. I accept my shortcomings. As a gift to all, I choose not to display said shortcomings in strappy footwear. Conversely, Sarah Jessica Parker has exquisite feet. Regardless, these retro heels aren’t cheap, and will therefore be knocked off immediately. Brace yourself for a flood of crappy strappy.
I’m gagging for…
Hate the bangs, but I enjoy the way this inky gown drapes your body Karen O. A capelet crusader, Kate Hudson in Versace Atelier. Kevin Spacey in blueberry Burberry. Hathaway defensively donned a Gucci breastplate.
i’m heaving for…
Wrinkled, boring, and confusing, someone explain Sandy B in this pageanty Alexander McQueen?
If Orange Julius raped a praying mantis this Kelly Ripa moment would be the unholy outcome.
Speaking of praying mantis, Portia needs to lay off the botox for real.
This shitty suit doesn’t even fit. Who let Lutz in? Did he sneak in with a tray of hors d’oeuvres?