This super cute baby skunk got stuck in a window well. It has been so hot and I was worried the little thing would die. First, I lowered water down in a cup so it could drink. Then I fretted how to free my little friend without subjecting myself to nature’s version of tear gas.
I selected a couple spare pieces of scrap wood to create an escape bridge for my black & white buddy. The boards seen here didn’t quite cut it. I upgraded to a wider, thicker, rougher option, softened the angle of the incline, and put a blanket on top so skunkie could climb to freedom. I sweetened the trail with cat food to lure it up and out of its accidentally self-imposed cement cage. 
By the way, if a skunk enters your realm and gets stuck, don’t expect animal control to help. Most will refer skunk cases to private pest control. I was worried sick about my little terrified pal, but with patience and the right tools it made its way home. Thank gawd, because I would not have been able to deal with a dead baby skunk. Nope. Not at all. 
I’ve been working on a project lately that has me interacting with a number of different professionals. I use the term “professionals” loosely as most of these fuckers can barely return a phone call or show up on time. 
I measure a man by his word. Where I come from, when you say you are going to do something, you do it. Anything less is unacceptable. 
Despite a punctuality-softening stint in California, I arrive on time to professional appointments. I don’t hire late bitches. 
Show up on time and do what you say you are going to do. Sounds simple, right? Then how come these grown-ass men can’t seem to manage it?
Is is with much regret that I inform you that Joan Crawford, the little pink laptop that could, is struggling to take her last breath. It would be unjust to labor her with another post in her condition. I must set forth to find her replacement today. 
If it were not for Joan Crawford, Demeter Clarc could not be. Let’s all pay her a brief tribute for her tireless service. We will never forget when she arrived on that fateful Valentine’s Day. It’s the end of a rose-colored era, darling. Today is for you dear Joan. 
Would you rather have your car washed and gassed every week or receive a pair of diamond earrings?
Me = care for the car bitch. 
Would you rather couple with someone of means with no sex drive or a poor person who is always pawing at you?
Me = desire over dinero. 
Would you rather take an exotic trip with four people you barely know or stay home alone?
Me = I’d rather be domestically bored than internationally annoyed. 
Would you rather have 1 oz of premium chocolate or a whole bag of Hershey’s?
Me = It’s chocolate so I’ll take either in a pinch, but quality over quantity. 
Would you rather have a $100,000 home that is paid for or a $1,000,000 home with a mortgage? 
Me = free and clear. 
Is there anything more annoying than a vessel sink? I think not. Vessel sinks may look good in the store, but in actuality they are the most impractical and messy of all the sink options. Sinks are like a proper fuck, you want them big and deep not perched, precious, and puny. 
Water splashes everywhere from this style of basin. Many of the wide and shallow versions aren’t banked properly, so gross water collects on one end always failing to properly drain. I’m repulsed. 
Like most home decorating trends that come on hard, fast, and ubiquitous, the vessel sink will soon be considered a dated vestige of a quainter time like wallpaper borders or shag carpet. 
Wanna know my airplane prayer?
When packing, lay out all the clothes and money you plan to take. Take half the clothes and all the money. 
Learn the local customs or risk looking like a dick. 
Insure the rental car.
Make eye contact. 
Cultivate patience. 
Don’t pay to park.
Frequent hygienically-sound food trucks. 
Macallan Scotch. Tasty. Not too personal, but still leaves a warm feeling in the gut. Passes the booze snob test. Generally speaking, the older the scotch, the pricier the bottle. 
Pink Himalayan Sea Salt is high in trace minerals and is super pretty too. You can cook or serve on these Pink Himalayan Sea Salt blocks. A pink salt block is an original gift for culinary have-it-alls and surprisingly affordable. 
Ya’ll know I heart some paper, including these Fringe Studio stationery sets. Find them for half price at the high-end department store outlets. Cute quality cards please almost any lady (and inclined gent) from 8 to 80 years old. 
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