Category Archives: HOROSCOPE

July 2014 Horoscopes

CancerCANCER

Happy Birthday Little Crab!  Since last June, your life has been awash in change thanks to Jupiter in Cancer, but he’s shifting into your career sector which means travel, money, and most importantly enjoying the tangible fruits of your labor.  Over the next year, enjoy massive professional growth potential.  At long last, your paycheck becomes commensurate with your long undervalued abilities.  Stability sounds really good right?  Save your money.  This is not the time to take an expensive vacation, but feel free to plan for January or February of next year.  Buckle down at work while the wind is at your back.  When your shit’s together you make a rather attractive prospect, so don’t be surprised if an engagement arrives seemingly out of the blue.  Just remember dear Cancer, you are worthy and deserving of all the good fortune coming your way.  Rather than indulging in the anxiety of waiting for the proverbial “other shoe to drop,” enjoy the blessings life has bestowed upon you.

LeoLEO

July is a huge month for you Leo as Jupiter moves into your house mid-month and stays for the next year like some sort of sofa-crashing celestial fairy godmother.  For you Leo, over the next year Jupiter means true love.  If you are single, it is unlikely you will remain so for very long.  Established relationships feel ripe for matrimony now under Jupiter’s influence.  Before Jupiter comes on the 16th, meet unmet obligations and finish the unfinished.  Messiness won’t serve you during your reign.  Also, parcel out some quiet and solitude.  The beginning of the month feels a bit low energy, so don’t force the socializing.  Your time to shine will come the last two weeks of the month and especially between the 24-26th.  Hold on to your dick Leo, life’s about to get much BIGGER.

VirgoVIRGO

The first two weeks of July serve up a series of last minute opportunities for travel and adventure.  Enjoy a few spontaneous moments before settling into a quieter period of healing and self-reflection that will continue over the next year.  Weeding out the dead leaves to allow for new growth proves pivotal in preparing for new blessings.  With regard to work, schedule important talks with valuable contacts on the 24th when the Sun is shining on you favorably.  Jupiter’s shift indicates an end to a twelve year cycle or relationship.  Is it time to say good by to an unsatisfying relationship or addiction?  Now is the time to tackle the emotional work you’ve been neglecting. Therapy, anyone?  For some Virgos, you are making the emotional room for a baby.

LibraLIBRA

Libra enjoyed the bountiful influence of Jupiter professionally over the last year, but this month Jupiter moves out of your career and into your teamwork and tech support departments.  This shift provides a more comfortable collaborative energy for you and it leads you into some interesting philanthropic endeavors.  Hope you stashed some cash during your successful professional run because roving Mars enters to increase your living expenses on the 25th.  Unexpected costs arise concerning your home.  Mid-month your social life blooms.  Family plays a major part in making July special.  Take a little trip to your favorite spot with your sweetie and enjoy one another.  A stork might visit.

ScorpioSCORPIO

On July 16th, Jupiter transitions into Leo the governess of your career, expect your professional life to promptly catch fire and stay aflame for the next year, Scorpio.  Opportunity arises for relocation.  Make decisions based on your highest calling.  When Jupiter lives in Cancer, the energy is a little laid back for you.  Scorpio prefers the intensity of Jupiter in Leo where you can make mogul shit happen.  Schedule important communications on July 12th when the reflected light of the full moon illuminates the clarity of your speech.  Saturn’s retrograde has been bogging Scorpio down for months and shaken your confidence.  Saturn finally moves direct this month and she will reward you for all your tenacity and attention to detail before she finally spins out of Scorpio at the end of the year.

SagittariusSAG

The Sagittarius we all know and love reappears with a flourish this July after a lengthy period of charismatic drought.  The past year has tested your closest relationships.  You’ve been hurt and you’ve hurt others.  These experiences have taught you a great deal about vulnerability and trust.  Use the painful moments as evidence of your strength, not as an excuse to harden against others.  Your inner drag queen hasn’t died Sagittarius.  She’s just been at the spa while you do your emotional homework.  Now she’s ready to come back with the high-kicking flourish of a Rockette.  By the time the last two weeks of July roll around, all your mojo returns and you are ready to share what you’ve learned with those who want to know.

CapricornCAP

Hard-working Capricorns just keep trudging, but lately you haven’t advanced as quickly as you are accustomed.   The gridlock of your life is about to free up in July allowing you to ascend unhindered.  The top can be lonely and you crave intimacy.  Ready to make your relationship more permanent?  The 27th is a fortuitous day for an engagement.  Those looking to exit an unsatisfying situation should wait until after the 16th to file dissolution papers.  Caps with no current romantic attachment should direct this potent energy into relationships that can turn a profit.

AquariusAQUARIUS

At the beginning of July, honor Jupiter’s influence for a few final days by focusing on health and well-being.  Exercise, eat well, sleep, and enjoy the nourishment of the outdoors.  Prepare your mind and your body for love because that’s where Jupiter is headed – to your house of partnerships and commitments.  The energy is right for you to find your life partner in the next year.  For those already lovesick, the July 24-26th window makes an exception to stage an engagement or ceremony.  Water Bearers in steady relationships may wake up this month and realize that your relationship feels like high school when you’ve emotionally graduated on to college.  Kindly part ways as lovers and restructure as friends.

PiscesPISCES

These last months have been creative, glamorous, and fun for you Pisces, but they haven’t been the most financially secure with Mars draining your finances.  July requires you get series about your career.  You’ll certainly have the celestial support as Mars enters Scorpio.  Love always matters to Pisces, but even more so over the last year.  Your investment in your partner has resulted in a tight, strong, bond.  Celebrate with a party around the 12th and invite all your single friends.  Mid-month, Jupiter moves into your house of organization, health, and fitness.  Yes, you’d like to lose the gut once and for all, but more importantly this energy is about disciplined focus.  Get your body right.  Get your mind right.  Get your money right.  That’s your three-part mantra this month.

AriesARIES

Felt a bit dazed Aries?  July kicks off right with the release of Mercury’s retrograde which delivers clarity and a jolt of energy.  Saturn too spins out of retrograde freeing up your chances for fame, honor, and acclaim.  Don’t pretend you don’t love to be told how great you are.  After spending the last year governing your home and family, Jupiter moseys on into your realm of pleasure, creativity, and romance where it can turn up the heat dancing with Leo.  Combustion causes change, so get ready for some major shifts.  You shine on July 24th, so get outta the house that day for sure and remind everybody what you’re working with Aries.

Taurus

TAURUS

The first two weeks of July make an excellent time for travel Taurus, so go ahead and take a little trip to the seaside you’ve been longing for.  Even if you can’t go far, go somewhere on the 12th which is a particularly fortuitous day for adventure.  Mid-month Jupiter rolls into the realm of home, personal life, and family where it settles in for the next year.  A change of home, an addition of a baby, or cultivation of family relationships all make sense with Jupiter’s expansive influence.  Mars enters Scorpio which governs your relationships – expect passion, pleasure, and conflict.  Prepare for intense fucking and fighting through the first half of September.

GeminiGEMINI

With expansive Jupiter fattening your bank account over the last year, you’ve had the opportunity to accrue quite the savings.  During the first week of July, you’ll have the opportunity to put some of that wealth at risk for a potentially huge payday.  Whether you win or lose, you’ll learn a great deal about yourself from calculating the risk and forcing yourself to make a decision after much dithering.  Due to massive work demands, you’ll see more fluorescent lighting than daylight this summer.  When you start bitching to yourself about the grind, be grateful you have a job where you can excel.  Feeling restless?  This year provides opportunities to work away from home, travel, and has you contemplating a second piece of property where you can get away.  You have an itch to catch up with far-flung friends, so squeeze those moments in between work obligations.

June 2014 Horoscopes

GeminiGEMINI

Happy Birthday Gemini!  Community-minded Gemini just loves getting the whole gang together for some fun.  Select an adventure, send word through your social network and see who shows up to play.  There’s an excellent chance for a match-making opportunity between two of your friends.  While in the mix, whether you feel unparalleled enthusiasm for your people or needled by the inconsiderate actions of others, speak your truth.  Leave a few metaphorical Yelp reviews on your network of folks and let ‘em know how they rate according to the ever-morphing Gemini standard.  Withholding the truth is how you get that pesky (yet enduring) two-faced reputation.  Since you are the celestial duchess of gadgets Gemini, go ahead and upgrade.  Consider it a birthday gift to yourself.   Just remember Mercury is in retrograde from the 7th on into July, so don’t be surprised if gadgets glitch.

CancerCANCER

Cancer has spent the last six months lining ducks in a perfect row, so now it’s time to clean up any messiness and execute on your carefully devised strategy.  You’ve put in the work and you deserve the pay off, but if you aren’t careful you could easily get in your own way.  The first and most important lesson in June for Cancer is that you are not in control.  Give over to the tumble of the universe.  Next, you must detach from the outcome.  It isn’t going to feel the way you think it is supposed to look.  Finally, rather than soaking in anxiety, allow the flood of new experiences to wash over you as a recipient.  Watch. Learn. Listen.  For Crabs, Mercury’s retrograde comes in the form of a stab in the back.  Careful whom you trust.

LeoLEO

No June gloom for you Leo!  Super aroused by the warm weather and short-shorts, you are a human red Solo cup this month.  Just remember beer-pong won’t pay the bills.  In between keg-stands, keep up with your self-care.  Organize your friends into some healthy outdoor fun – paddle boarding, hiking, beach blanket bingo.  Mercury retrogrades from June 7 to the first of July and for you this means loose lips.  Don’t go spilling secrets.  Avoid signing contracts, postpone important conversations, and above all maintain your sense of humor should life go temporarily and unexpectedly awry.

 VirgoVIRGO

Virgo sees clearly in June through the spectacles of ambition.  With your recent professional achievements, you are able to see how your contribution feeds into the larger good.  The planning and initiative you take now will root six months in the future.  Mercury retrogrades the 7th, and for you this means suboptimal teamwork and communication.  Even though you see clearly this month, your talk is muddy.  Go out of your way to simplify and clarify.  Usually such a heady thinker, a few decisions from the heart wouldn’t kill you.  Mid-month you’ll contemplate a move.  While considering the interests of all relevant parties, use your heart rather than your head to decide.

Libra

LIBRA

Libra lemonade perfectly balances sour and sweet.  Too much sweet and you’re cloying, too much tart and you’re a bitch.  Most of the time you get it just right.  You are the Goldilocks of the Zodiac: not too cold, not too hot.  You know what else fits comfortably right in the middle?  Mediocrity.  You’re beautiful, kind, peace-making, and at times, boring as fuck.  Upset the perfect equipoise with a little offensive or at least unsanctioned behavior.  Though keep in mind that getting too mouthy during the Mercury’s retrograde could damage important relationships.  Schedule travel later for the summer as the June backspin could muss your perfect vacation plans.

 ScorpioSCORPIO

You’ve been working your ass off Scorpio and mid-month you’ll finally see the payoff, but for now you crave intimacy.  Don’t over schedule because interesting spontaneous offers abound this summer.  You shine in small groups and one-on-one, so leave the festival scene for the desperate posers.  With regard to finance, June is about merging assets and energy to create more flow.  Sniff out passive income opportunities to exploit.  Mercury goes retrograde from June 7 to July 1, so during this time avoid contracts, expect tech glitches, and keep your knee-jerk reactions (and your stinger) to yourself.

 SagittariusSAG

Sags land on the tongue in flames, but your flavor could use some depth.  The punch of your personality comes in the first impression, but you could thicken that vivaciousness with some substance.  We are all sick of munching insecurity tacos and we are ready for burritos of love.  Here’s the recipe: take some kindness, add some generosity, sprinkle in trust, hold the ego and wrap it up in compassion.  Tend to the neglected relationships in your life by putting others first.  Mercury in retrograde for Sagittarius means a visit from the ghost of relationships past.  When opportunities arise to resolve old conflicts, snatch them.

 Capricorn

CAPRICORN

Realizing summer is upon us and you’re fucking out of shape, Capricorn motivates towards health and organization in June.  Consider hiring a personal yoga instructor, life coach, or professional organizer to help you get your shit together.  Lately, have you been relying too heavily on substances to socially lubricate situations?  Intoxicants + Mercury Retrograde = relationship disaster.  Lazy people discard you as emotionally remote, but that’s a misread of the reserved Capricorn.  Caps possess great depth of emotion, but it’s how you cope with and channel this well of emotional energy that determines your fate.

 AquariusAQUARIUS

June is about celebrating the contributions of others and toasting to the success of collaboration.  Big thinking Aquarius takes in the whole view which makes you the perfect person to quash drama when it spikes up between croquet rounds at the corporate picnic.  Peace-making aside, Neptune’s retrograde clouds your professional judgment from June 9th and for several months thereafter.  You have a knack for floating in, out, and in-between the scene with ease.  Towards the middle of June you crave more grounding and stability.  June is the time to purify your diet, commit to fitness and simplify your routine.  The (literal) tipping point has come with regard to physical clutter in your life.  Garage sale anyone?

PiscesPISCES

With June enters a supportive basket of feminine energy to guide you little Fish.  Spend time with the important women in your life.  For Pisces, Neptune’s retrograde highlights incongruence between your personal aspirations and your image.  Decide whom you want to embody as this new incarnation and align the inner and outer by making subtle shifts in your appearance and habits.  Mercury’s retrograde means travel drama.  Not much you can do but leave early and pack your sense of humor.  Computer crashes, lost phones, and power outages are also common within Mercury’s backspin, so take appropriate steps to protect your work and privacy.

AriesARIES

Chatty Aries just can’t wait to share every idea brimming in that overactive brain this June.  The problem with your thoughtless blabbing is Mercury is in retrograde which means that you are quite likely to offend others with your verbal diarrhea.  A series of bad decisions have landed you in the lurch and you don’t like hearing about it from your Mom this month.  Once you get past your ego and frustration, will you have the courage and good sense to dig your way out?  When in doubt, work.  Industriousness keeps you out of trouble and keeps that money rolling in to your account.

TaurusTAURUS

You went hard for your birthday Taurus and you have the anxiety-inducing bank balance to prove it.  Thankfully, June offers many opportunities for you to replenish wealth through satisfying hard work.  With financial security at the forefront, trim back the unsatisfying extracurricular lame cash-eating bullshit.  With Mercury in retrograde from the 7th into July, June isn’t ideal for negotiating leases or refinancing.  Anything bitchy you say this month can and will be held against you.  If you wouldn’t say it face to face, bite your tongue.  You will experience the flipside of this energy when you discover a pal has been talking shit.  Will you forgive or foreclose on the friendship?

May 2014 Horoscopes

TaurusTAURUS TORI SPELLING

Happy Birthday Taurus!  After a month of oppositional and tense energy, you are ready for a change both outwardly and inwardly.  Whether it’s a freshening of your personal appearance or a sprucing of your home, invest in a few significant upgrades in May.  Mother’s Day could be a real bitch this year.  Particularly reactive on the 11th, it’s easy to slip back into childish patterns.  Remember you are grown.  Give a nice gift and a pleasant (albeit forced) smile.  Keep your mouth shut or stuff it with pancakes.  Before making any big promises socially or professionally to team up and dream up, view the entire situation through a critical side-eye.  Get nakedly honest regarding the commitment the collaboration entails.  Don’t allow leisure activities originally intended for fun to become burdensome and stressful.  Scale back birthday plans to your nearest and dearest.  Not everybody and their cousin merits an invite.

GeminiGEMINI JOLIE

The days before your birthday are for quiet retreat, Gemini.  The spotlight will soon be yours, take care of any messiness or undone chores nagging your subconscious.  Gemini’s spring cleaning includes weeding your friendship flowerbed of unhealthy additions.  The energy on Mother’s Day could present a number of challenges.  Expect tense family dynamics if you plan to spend the day among loved ones.  Play with the kiddos as an effective strategy for staying out of the fray.  Concerning your health, when is the last time you had a check-up or any preventive care?  Take care of yourself.

Cancer

Embrace light-hearted fun in May, Cancer.  Twirl around parties.  Gossip and flirt.  Enjoy yourself by keeping conversations easy breezy.  Celebrating Mom may feel like a real chore this year, or you may not feel like you are getting credit where credit is due from your own ungrateful offspring and spouse.  Tense energy in the crabshell foreshadows a change in the domestic sphere.  Towards the end of the month, quiet the noise, slow down, and meet unmet obligations in preparation for your birthday.

 LeoJENNIFER LOPEZ LEO

Tap into your blonde ambition Leo, May is the month to make shit happen in your personal industry sector.  Light a match under your ass at work and go for it.  If you can’t see yourself moving onward and upward at your current grind, then put your energy into finding a more rewarding career.  Either way, your efforts will be rewarded.  May showers manifest as tears on Mother’s Day this year.  The tense energy makes for uncomfortable family gatherings.  If you know you can’t control your reactionary temper in the familial context, then limit your dealings to the minimum you can politely manage.

 VirgoBEYONCE VIRGO

Virgo embraces adventure in May.  The daring could take many forms from the obvious – last minute travel – to the less obvious – a meditative journey inward.  Whatever trip you take, there’s a lesson in it for you.  Mother’s Day might be a mutherfucker for reasons beyond your control.  What is within your control is your reaction to unprovoked attacks.  Take a few deep breaths, imbibe a cocktail, and focus on what you love about your family.  With regard to your central relationship, you gotta decide if you are all in or all out because nobody can keep track of your pendulum swinging heart.

 Libra

Libra craves intimacy and meaningful connection in May.  Spend time with your sweetie cuddled up at home.  The oppositional energy of the Grand Cross carries into May.  Libra certainly felt the harsh angles of this unusual stellar arrangement.  Why not take a self-imposed recovery period?  It’s a nice way of sparing us your moody discontentment.  Usually the family diplomat, this Mother’s Day your peace-making talents take temporary leave.  Mid-month, enjoy a burst of full moon Scorpio energy that stimulates career success.

 ScorpioWHOOPI GOLDBERG

Scorpio loves powerful partnership, and the desire to collaborate works up a hunger to define your latest relationship.  Total devotion forms the foundation of your dream union.  Most beings are not capable of that level of intensity or the totality of sacrifice required for mating with you.  Don’t belabor unsatisfying affiliations.  Honor your Ma on Mother’s Day whether near, far, or departed.  Extra-raw on the 11th, Scorpio’s got tail up, stinger poised.  Retract your weaponry Scorpio, today isn’t the day for offensive maneuvering.  We’re all suffering under the same strain, so send up a puff of compassion instead of attacking the weak and vulnerable.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius is ready for some late spring cleaning in May.  First, file your paperwork and thin the stacks of clutter.  Next, pull out some pots and plant yourself a little windowsill garden.  The plants will nourish you in unforeseen ways in the coming months.  They will also clean the air and pump your home full of fresh oxygen.  Ferocious family dynamics have the potential to ruin Mother’s Day.  Unable to hold your tongue under this irrational influence, Sags could be major contributors to the chaos.  Even though at times it feels as though you’ve outgrown your friends, your own self-limiting beliefs are the source of most of your misdirected judgment and criticism.

CapricornCAPRICORN KATE MIDDLETON

Capricorn gets especially expressive in May after feeling downright repressed in April.  For the most part, this chatty streak works to your benefit.  Mother’s Day is the major exception.  Thoughtless comments and misconstrued humor could spark intense overreactions.  Bring a nice gift and stuff your face with food.  Lay in the cut and don’t be a dick.  It isn’t up to you to fix your family.  Instead of wasting energy on unsolicited advice for your clan, apply that care-taking energy to yourself.  Spend the last week of May organizing your life.  Tidy your home.  Eat better.  Refresh the wardrobe.

 AquariusSHAKIRA AQUARIUS

After an incredibly intense April, Aquarius requires a respite!  All the drama, stress, and conflict depleted your resources and patience.  Of all the signs, you are poised to deliver the best Mother’s Day as either the recipient or giver.  However you chose to celebrate motherhood, keep it low key and pampering.  Now is not the time to plan the world’s most elaborate brunch.  Even French toast can’t compete with selfish tantrum throwers – who are bound to make an appearance on the 11th.  Mid-month, an energetic boost in your career helps you decide if you should stay or go.

Pisces

Your noggin is stormy with ideas in May, Pisces.  The notions come quickly and without much elaboration, so keep a notebook handy to jot down thoughts as they strike lightening fast.  A cloud hovers over Mother’s Day.  Pisces acts out with unpredictable moodiness.  If you are struggling to maintain your composure in your toxic familial soup, think of them as strangers and just be polite.  You wouldn’t overtly roll your eyes at a stranger across the lunch table, so don’t do it to your sister at family gatherings.  Towards the end of the month, Pisces feels especially emotionally vulnerable.  Spend this time alone or with a few trusted pals – no needy whiners!

 Aries ARIES REESE

With May comes a healthy dose of reality, Aries.  Start with an assessment of your finances.  Look at your accounts and compare the credit to debit columns.  If you’re running a deficit, you must reverse the flow from outgoing to incoming.  In order to do so, you will have to sacrifice some of your material desires.  Put quality thought and effort into honoring your mother this Mother’s Day.  Defy your selfish reputation by seizing this wonderful opportunity to display your thoughtfulness and love.  Aries’ sexual relationship gets a surge of intensity from the scorpion mid-month.  Everything you’ve been holding back will come spilling out in a gush of brutal honesty.

The Grand Cardinal Cross

GRAND CARDINAL CROSSAfter reading your horoscopes, many of you have questions about the significance of the Grand Cardinal Cross.  In April, the Grand Cardinal Cross manifests in the following configuration:  Uranus in Aries (fire), Jupiter in Cancer (water), Mars in Libra (air), and Pluto in Capricorn (earth).GRAND CARDINAL CROSS ILLUSUranus in Aries makes you want to assert your individual power for radical change, but you also don’t give a fuck if your Norma Rae rant alienates others.  Jupiter in Cancer expands your domestic sphere – think big hearth/big heart.  Mars forces Libra to confront conflict instead of always trying to inconspicuously smooth over the bumps.  Pluto in Capricorn means you begin to understand the shaky infrastructure of the beastly organizations upon which we precariously rely.2014 GRAND CARDINAL CROSS

The celestial tug-of-war could effect you in a number of ways: sleeplessness, parental issues, angry outbursts, frustration, abrupt conclusions, and forced change.  Somatically, I experience the building tension as a pressure headache.  Whatever your weakness, Grand Cardinal Cross demands you strengthen it.  Unsavory habits gotta go.4 WAY TUG

April 2014 Horoscopes

AriesARIES

Happy Birthday Aries!  You wish this month was all cupcakes, balloons, and celebrations, but instead it’s all tense energy and big decisions.  Over the past few months, Aries has struggled in balancing domestic and professional responsibilities.  In April, that struggle to please converts into resentment over ignoring your own personal needs.  You give, you give, and you give and they still want more!  You’ve realized there is no end to their greedy thirst for your energy.  Quench your own thirst first in April.  April gifts you with the Grand Cross of tension between Mars, Jupiter, Uranus, and Pluto.  These are not the four planets you want playing together in your astrological sandbox.  The Grand Cross isn’t having any of your martyr shit, Aries.  If you over-give, it will deplete you.  After several months of waffling, April forces change in your relationships.  Often, you are the one that is difficult to get along with, so stop blaming others for the strife.  Even though energetically this is a challenging month for you Aries, it does give you the opportunity to show off some of your best qualities: your courage, generosity, and strength.  Regardless of the chaos and forced change that ensues in April, make decisions based on compassion.  By doing so, you will surface on the other side of this foursquare of tense energy proud of how you navigated the obstacles.

TaurusTAURUS

The majority of April serves as your pre-birthday rest period Taurus.  Unmotivated to meet the needs of others’ agendas, Taurus would rather stay in and sleep off those springtime allergies.  Embrace positive change in April by applying that notoriously strong self-discipline to areas of slack.  Quit smoking.  Lay off the booze.  Leave the line unsnorted.  The planets provide a helping hand in releasing negative habits.  The “Grand Cross” everyone keeps referring to is not a new Pilates machine.  Jupiter brings an exploration of new ideas which cause you to question and ditch some antiquated beliefs.  Often your inner skeptic keeps you from moving forward.  Let her protect you from all the shady douches running amok this month.  Take extra good care of yourself in April as your immune system is weakened.  Say “No” more than you say “Yes.”

GeminiGEMINI

Gemini gathers up the like-minded in April.  Instead of just talking about wanting to make a positive change in the world why don’t you actually do something positive?  Others welcome your sudden streak of self-expression as long as you serve intelligent ideas that are actually your own.  April’s tense Grand Cross planetary alignment spotlights all your financial messiness.  Sure, you do okay in the paycheck department, but what is your long-term financials strategy?  How much do you piss away on meaningless expenditures?  With regard to romance, beware of unresolved feelings and patterns.  Don’t disappear into other people.  Gemini loves to have a bunch of friends, but you aren’t very selective in who tags along.  In April, it becomes very clear who in your circle actually gives a fuck and who is a user.  By letting go of unhealthy attachments to parasitic people you will open up to new love and more fulfilling relationships.

CancerCANCER

Cancer hyperfocuses on career in April.  By prioritizing your own agenda and using that irrepressible Cancer charm to grease the right people that promotion you’ve been vying for could very well be yours.  Expect family and domestic drama this month – perhaps an unexpected drop-in from your sister or mom?  It could also mean a surprise move or unintended pregnancy.  Whatever excitement the stars have in store for you change is on the menu.  With the Grand Cardinal Cross influence there’s risk of calibrating into old destructive patterns thereby curtailing your progress.  When overwhelmed by the demands of both work and home ask for help.  Your standards for companionship are laughably low and it becomes glaringly obvious this month when you meet someone who’s actually got something to offer.  This giver has you contemplating the meaning of true partnership.

LeoLEO

With the tension innate in the Grand Cross, April is a great time to get the hell outta dodge with a spring break trip Leo.  If physically fleeing isn’t feasible take your mind on an expansive trip to broaden your worldview.  Mid-month closure comes with regard to a pending issue.  Ruling out one possibility paves the way for an entirely new idea.  Emotionally speaking, the opposing energies of the Grand Cross bring a schizophrenic confusion to April.  You feel at once mellow and anxious, disciplined and lazy, and rushed and impatient.  Nothing feels quite right, but take consolation in the fact that it isn’t your fault.  To survive this tense time unscathed, you must quash arguments and think before you lash out over some trivial point.  Avoid big decisions this month.  Look to a mentor who has walked the path you wish to travel and listen to wise advice on how to navigate it successfully.

Virgo

  VIRGO

Other than laying low with your nearest and dearest, you don’t feel like doing much this month Virgo.  Your usual zest for elbow rubbing and small talk vanishes and instead you’d rather stay home and loaf.  April presents opportunities in real estate investment should you be in the market.  Mid-month major change comes to your career sector.  It may mean your current position ends and a new one emerges.  Don’t get nauseous in the tumult.  Use the change to evaluate what you really want from your life.  What do you need to alter to shape your current life into the one you truly long for?  The Cardinal Cross is the energetic equivalent of a four-way rack – as in the torture device which pulls you apart in opposite directions.  Virgo’s opposing interests include money, intimacy, friends, and self-expression.  New friends compete against old loyalties.  Money becomes a source of conflict.  This time you are the one who is acting like a dick.

Libra

 LIBRA

April is a happy month for you Libra as long as you are clear about communicating your needs.  Once you put it out there, it is up to your partner to respond.  Don’t force the situation, but remain assertive.  Libra receives the glow of the lunar eclipse on the 15th.  Take credit for your best qualities and responsibility for your faults.  The Grand Cardinal Cross has special meaning for you as a Cardinal sign.  This tense energy will betray any cracks in the foundation of your life: family, relationships, home, livelihood.  Libra unintentionally causes friction with thoughtless comments.  You can come off as pretentious and haughty when insecure.  This April be extra nice and forgiving without giving away your power.  By the end of the month you’re tapped, and would rather stay rooted at home than fussing with the inconsiderate public.

Scorpio

SCORPIO

Self-care takes precedence in April as Scorpio’s hectic pace has taken a toll on you as of late.  Always one to work smarter rather than harder, structure your life in a way that best supports your current needs.  Clean, organize, and keep it simple.  April brings humbling moments which will require you to surrender your ego and judgments.  Ask for the help you need.  The Grand Cardinal Cross forces action for Scorpio.  You aren’t one to shirk on responsibilities even when overextended.  Let April be a lesson that your energy and talent must be replenished with adequate self-nurturing.  April also brings the possibility for a true partner or the cementing of an important preexisting bond.  The relationship seeds formed under April’s influence blossom into beautiful, lasting flowers over the coming months.

SagittariusSAG

Sagittarius enjoys a little well-deserved levity in April after a rough few months of hard work.  The lunar eclipse brings resolve to old festering issues mid-month.  For you Sagittarius, the Grand Cross emotionally pulls you apart like a dinner roll.  Sags self-limit with stubborn notions.  Your rigid ideas keep people away.  In April, you need help and are forced to soften into compromise.  With this softening comes the realization that you bear the responsibility for a great deal of conflict over the last year.  Sags continue to repeat these negative and hurtful patterns until you bring mindfulness to your interactions.  Others will continue to trigger you until you get a handle on your temper.  By the end of the month, you are ready to get your body in order.  Cut the sugar and get off your ass.

CapricornCAPRICORN

April is an ideal time to reconnect with family, dear Capricorn.  Take a break from work.  Your heart isn’t in it this month.  Your heart does need tending to though so turn inward and ask yourself the tough questions.  Better yet; ask your mom the tough questions and drink in her wisdom like fine wine.  To succeed in relationships (and in sex) you must embrace the concept of reciprocity.  By the 15th the lunar eclipse will force your hand on indecision.  Get clear about what you want, but remain flexible in the face of unpredictability.  A sense of humor makes the last ten days of the month feel substantially lighter and more tolerable.  You are at your best and most attractive when playful and funny.

AquariusAQUARIUS

Even though others are feeling tense this month you are ready for some April foolishness.  Unleash your fun-loving prankster Aquarius.  In between strategic whoopee cushion placements, gobble up all available intel.  Primed to retain new ideas, Aquarius enjoys reading, watching, and learning in April.  Go big the first three weeks, and then when you hit a fatigue wall come back home and recharge.  Reminisce over old photos.  Help your mom organize old memories and soak in the family stories.  These are your roots, and when you look at your life from its nascence you can appreciate your evolution.  Take care of your body.  The Grand Cross weakens your immunity.  Don’t waste energy quarreling with others this month.  You won’t get anywhere in the power struggle and the fussing will just deplete and frustrate you.

PiscesPISCES

Pisces your mantra in April is you better work bitch.  Stage one: get organized.  Stage two: work systematically with a list.  Stage three: complete your list.  Tap into your network of contacts while connections are fresh and friendly.  April 15th brings a sweep of change vis-à-vis the lunar eclipse.  Situations and relationships that no longer serve you have to go without further room for negotiation.  The energy of the Grand Cross forces further sweeping change in the sacred areas of home, family, and finances.  Stop asking other people’s opinions and then getting aggravated with their answers.  If you don’t want to know, don’t ask.  Get honest about your financial anxiety and cost of living.  Can you afford yourself?  April is not about big talk.  April is about big action.  Now seriously, get to work bitch.

March 2014 Horoscopes

PiscesPISCES

Happy Birthday Pisces!  You feel aglow in the energy of the new moon and all the fresh momentum that comes with Mercury’s forward moment.  Just as Mercury moves out of retrograde, here comes Mars and Saturn spinning backwards to fuck everything up for you Pisces.  Find the benefit of the slowing in certain areas.  Take this time to reevaluate relationships and finances.  These energetic gaps give you time to catch up and get sorted; seize them!  You have every right to get properly laid on your birthday.  Pisces are among the most desirable and intoxicating lovers of the zodiac.  You struggle between wanting nice things and stressing over spending.  Bring more awareness to everyday wasteful habits like those small daily expenditures.  By cutting out mindless comfort spending, you’ll have a money cushion for more significant splurges.  March is wonderful time to explore therapy little Fish.  You could use some help navigating the choppy waters.

AriesARIES

Just as Aries gets oriented to the New Year, all is about to change for you.  It’s time to call upon that Aries adaptability.  Rest and relax to start the month off in a nourished state.  Have a good cry while you’re buried in the covers.  Get your body back in shape before the equinox.  If you’ve gotten overly invested in other people’s problems, pull that energy back and direct it towards your central relationship.  Instead of slipping into martyr mode, ask for help instead.  A series of retrogrades throughout the month cause a marked delay.  Use the tempo change to review and reassess.  Aries on the hunt for a new home finally find a nest.  For those looking to expand the family, the time is right.

TaurusTAURUS

Web-based connections become the source of meaningful collaboration in March for Taurus.  By combining your flair for first impressions with your knack for social media, you’ve created a well of resources for yourself and others to tap.  Use your broad reach to promote a person or idea you believe in strongly.  Easy, fleeting, flirty messaging is most effective – stay out of the deep end of the conversational swimming pool.  After a motivated start to 2014, you are noticeably less committed to all those big wellness goals.  Give yourself a break.  You don’t have to run a marathon just because you signed up three months ago.  Focus on your work and relationships as this is where your energy is most needed now.

GeminiGEMINI

Professionally, Gemini shines in March – perhaps a new offer?  Set up an intentional course which supports your long-term security.  Super spacey, you are known for a lot of hot air and very little hot action.  Why not pick one thing you care about and actually follow through?  Mid-month, spend a little time resting and reconnecting with family.  Schedule baby-making for the full moon.  In an effort to connect with people, you over-give and wind up feeling under-compensated.  You resent your own peace-keeping efforts even though it’s your fear of alienation that keeps you from speaking your truth.  The retrograde may tempt you with the past.  Don’t bother; it will only lead to dissatisfaction.

CancerCANCER

Freedom is your theme in March, Cancer.  A trip will help shift your perspective and allow you to let go of unhealthy attachments.  For awhile now, Cancer has been overly involved in an unsatisfying romantic situation.  Instead of getting frustrated that you can’t set up the dollhouse to your specific liking, put the dolls down and go play outside with the dog.  Better to create breathing room than allow the tension to crest into a frothy wave of frustration.  Step out of self-pity and go for what you want!  You are an achiever!  Enough with the needs of other people; it isn’t your job to gilt their path.  Your work on this planet is to continually evolve into your best self.  Remove obstacles blocking your journey to greatness.

LeoLEO

March is your month to retreat, relax, and focus on intimacy, Leo.  Feeling emotionally raw, you’d rather spend time alone or with a trusted few than risk the salt sting of the insensitive masses.  Ordinarily, Leo has an artful way of operating from ego and still remaining likable.  In March your communication style shifts from likeably effective to overly pushy.  Others notice, and it causes friction in a number of relationships if you don’t mellow a skosh.  Need another reason to stay in bed?  Your immune system is compromised this month, and therefore you are more likely to catch a bug if you are out and about.  Eat and sleep well.  Invest in your retirement mid-month.  Take a spring break trip after the equinox.

 VirgoVIRGO

Enough hibernation – Virgo’s ready for spring!  Now is the time to reach out and solidify important connections.  Meaningfully commit to the most important people in your life.  Make them a priority by your words and actions.  Reevaluate unbalanced relationships, and either create equanimity or cut the energysuck loose.  You’ve only got so much to give.  Lately, giving feels like all you’ve been doing in certain relationships.  Has codependency enslaved you?  Are you still involved because you fear aloneness?  Work stress paired with money panic creates the most anxiety in March.  Don’t need the stars to tell you to curb the extra spending to allay fiscal concerns.

LibraLIBRA

Start March off tight and right with a thorough tidying sesh, Libra.  The dustbunnies have formed a colony; it’s time to go in and eradicate the filth.  Even though housework seems basic, organization saves time – of which you have little to spare.  Libran energy ebbs and flows this March.  When you are feeling it – sweep.  When you don’t feel like vacuuming – lie around in your comfies.  No judgment.  Conserve your resources and make sure your rainy day fund is full.  Emergency money is a must.  Ensure you have the reserves to weather a crisis.  The multiple pulls on your time have you feeling like a ragdoll.  You also feel the shade of a few critical eyes.  Don’t let it getcha down.

ScorpioSCORPIO

March to your own beat and express yourself Scorpio.  From your playful vantage point, you could give a fuck about what anybody thinks this month.  Boldly deliver your message of compassion and love!  Be mindful of retrogrades causing backspins throughout March.  Intense demands on your time coupled with this energetic slowing in certain sectors can make you feel like you can’t access all your power.  Know you’ve already survived the worst this year has to offer.  Continue on your recent path of self-improvement; there’s still more work to do.  The universe will continue to test you by sending people who are all talk.  As you get stronger, needy people swarm.  You aren’t running an emotional soup kitchen.  If folks aren’t bringing anything to the table, don’t invite them to dine.  Communicate gentle truth.  From the 20th forward, it’s all about the spring revamp starting with a super lean and strong body.

SagittariusSAGITTARIUS

Self and home improvements dominate March for Sagittarius.  After a busy few months, you finally have the time to look around and see mess that has accumulated in your haste.  As you take a longer look in the mirror, you’re annoyed by areas of neglect.  March makes a great time for spring cleaning, so stay in and tidy up.  Continue to focus on a few key relationships and mentors.  Call your Dad.  Weakened defenses make you particularly susceptible to a bout of whatever’s currently communicable.  Take every extra precaution against germy contact with the masses.  Nourish and support your body with healthy food and sleep instead of loading up with symptom-masking drugs.  After the equinox, you’ll feel like getting up and out on the scene again.

CapricornCAPRICORN

With a cooling at work, Capricorn has the time and energy to evaluate relationships in March.  You’ve tolerated the flakiness of friends long enough and you’re feeling a lot less patient with the antics of others.  Pursue an equal partner who you can truly trust.  Super attractive in March, you’ll have no issues luring a desirable mate.  Any resistance in relationships lifts as an influential retrograde ends.  Take a spring break trip during the second half of March, but think more metaphysical than meta physical.  If you’re still going hard on your New Year’s resolution workout routine, consider giving your body a rest.  Overdoing it can result in injury altogether sidelining you from the fun.

AquariusAQUARIUS

Aquarius cleans out the ol’ pocketbook and instead of finding extra change you find a gross pile of lint and condom wrappers.  You’ve had your share of fun.  As you recover from your birthday bloat you are ready to get back to work.  Some of your party pals will be disappointed to see you retreat, but you’ll feel better when your bank balance floats above 3 figures.  Your body will feel better when you give up your three drink minimum.  Consolidation is the theme of the March for you Aquarius, as you’ve been scattered here, there, and everywhere recently.  March brings the potential for some really good sex if you focus in on the right person.  When you feel like you can truly merge with someone special, pursue the connection with ferocious aggression.

February 2014 Horoscopes

AquariusCHRISTOPHER GUEST AND JAMIE LEE

Happy Birthday Aquarius!  The sun beams down on you from above, so you better make sure you look good!  Get right in February with a personal spruce.  Complete important communications and contracts during the first week of the month before Mercury goes retrograde the sixth through the twenty-eighth.  Rather than grandstanding during your birthday acceptance speech, turn those proclamations into appreciativeness.  As for Valentine’s Day, a full moon illuminates your house of commitment.  Engagement anyone?  Single?  This month could bring a true partner.  Post-Valentine’s Day it’s time to buckle down and get back to work.  This industriousness continues for the next month during which your main priorities are productivity and performance.  Now is an excellent time to evaluate whether everything in your life is rising up to meet you.  Take extra good care of yourself as your immunity is compromised and you are susceptible to stress and illness.  Step back and engage your expansive world view to see that all these little hassles are ultimately insignificant.

Pisces

CHRIS AND GWYNETH

Let go Pisces!   Now is the time to surrender to the intense fatigue you’re experiencing.  Hibernate and look back on the last year before your birthday celebrations commence.  Are there things left undone that you’ve been needling yourself to finish?  When you are out and about, your interactions with others won’t feel quite right.  Your first impression won’t be your best.  With Mercury in retrograde in Pisces until the twelfth, resist radical change in any department.  State any instructions clearly and succinctly even if it feels tedious, it will save you much disappointment later.  In your friendship tribe, don’t repeat anything you don’t want repeated.  If you spread gossip, you’ll be hunted down and confronted.  Others will try to shift the blame your way.

AriesVICTORIA AND DAVID

Thank goodness for Aries in February because you coax the hibernators to party.  This socializing has a side order of practicality attached since a few of these associations prove influential.  February sends Mercury back into retrograde and you know what that means: communication breakdown, technological glitches, and the resurfacing of contacts from your past.  February presents a superb opportunity to finally close the trap door to your heart’s ancient pain.  Recognize this pain as a pathological block to your evolution.  The remainder of the month requires a great deal of collaboration.  Working with others ain’t easy, Aries.  Expect the standard interpersonal drama, then add some extra hatery for a clearer picture of the anticipated group dynamic.  Stay far, far away from the meaningless squabbles.  Continue to clearly and patiently reiterate your expectations.  So you want to know about Valentine’s Day, huh?  Unattached Aries, scroll down your contacts list until a spark flies off an old friend.  Committed Aries, go ballsdeep in the romance department – spare no cliché or expense.

Taurus

VINCENT AND ALEXIS

Charged with ambition and a new moon in your career sector, February sets forth a six month strategy for achieving major milestones, Taurus.  Mercury’s retrograde makes this a miserable time for travel, technology, and clarity.  Expect conflict to arise from the confusion.  If things get heated, just withdraw and come back later when the energy is more conducive to resolution.  Use the thrust of Mercury’s backspin to – rearrange, edit, review, and reassess.  Your heart and home are lit from within this Valentine’s Day.  Stay in and nest.  Enjoy entertaining family and friends.  The last third of the month Taurus gets more interested in socializing.  Particularly adept at rounding folks up on social media, use your web reach to gather your people into one big lovefest.  Watch out for untrustworthy motivations and remain skeptical.  Stay off the booze.

Gemini

SARKOZY AND OLSEN

February is about big thinking Gemini – an expansion and broadening of your world view.  Whether it’s travel, study, business, or philanthropy, Gemini wants to stretch the boundaries of your current life.  With your ruler Mercury retrograde in Pisces, not all your energy will be forward moving, especially with regard to career.  Finish what is left undone.  Guard against saboteurs.  Minimize distractions.  Later this month, long term professional goals come into focus.  Priorities become clearer.  The last week of the month expect some relationship drama.  As your confidence grows, so does conflict.  Fights erupt over sex, money, and jealousy.  Your special someone baits you repeatedly in an effort to get you to show that you care.  You respond with emotional detachment.  Happy Valentine’s Day Gemini.

Cancer

WENDY WILLIAMS KEVIN HUNTERFebruary is the time for some serious self-work.  Some Cancers are so emotionally overloaded that you have to insulate in various (often destructive) ways from your own feelings.  Now is the time to face your emotions, stare yourself down, and finally get a handle on your internal world.  Consider this full-on permission to feel it all.  Cancer exudes sexuality this February which coincides nicely with Valentine’s Day; the uptick in clinginess and jealously, not so much.  Expect some tension with your partner when you assert your own needs.  No legitimate reason to sacrifice yourself for the sake of the relationship except you secretly enjoy the control you assert over the arrangement.  Ultimately, neither of you will benefit from such an imbalanced power dynamic.  With Mercury in retrograde in your travel house, best to just stay put unless a trip proves absolutely necessary.  This retrograde also means you might piss people off with a condescending comment, so spend more time listening than talking.  February’s flush with cash, but save instead of spend.

Leo

IMAN AND DAVID BOWIE

Lucky Leo, the stars align for love and partnership in February.  Thriving in collaboration, you generously give and thereby receive in return.  February softens your ego and need for attention allowing you to temporarily share shine with others.  Finances serve as potential conflict hotspots this month.  Shelve any non-urgent money talks.  With Mercury retrograde in Aquarius, imbalances will become apparent and a need for fairness kicks in hard.  Let everyone take the time they need without bullying them into your terms.  Plan a big, confident debut for Valentine’s Day.  After the amorous celebrations wind down, recharge at home with a cuddle on the sofa.  Lions need privacy too, especially in February.  Spend extra time in bed catching up on sleep and sipping on nourishing soups as Leo suffers compromised immunity this month.  In addition, the stress of a betrayal robs you of energy.

Virgo NATE BERKUS JEREMIAH BRENT

Ready, set, organize Virgo!  You are motivated with lists, plans, and goals this February, particularly in the areas of health and fitness.  Quiet the chaos and return to order, and start with your own body Virgo.  Mercury’s retrograde could strain relationships or cause you to overlook critical details.  Review documents thoroughly and excise unnecessary stress.  Valentine’s Day presents a make or break epiphany moment for your relationship.  In the clear light of the full moon you see once and for all whether you can make a go of it with your sweetheart.  If it is time to go, you’ll know.  Distrust permeates all your relationships this month.  Others perceive your concern as prying.  Proceed cautiously; if at all.  All this volatility can easily take you off center.  Take whatever measures necessary to get back to yourself.

Libra

JOEL AND NICOLE

This February, get creative with that legendary Libran beauty and amplify your sex appeal.  Enjoy glamorous evenings flirting, but expect of a few of those coquettish comments to land unintended.  Your intense desire for attention could spiral into drama if you don’t channel it into more constructive endeavors.  Display your creative gifts and receive the right kind of attention.  Don’t forget your friends on Valentine’s Day.  For some of you February means the conception of a baby as you are especially fertile, even if communication with your partner is somewhat strained.  You don’t need to talk to fuck.  Mercury’s retrograde means disorganization and scheduling chaos for Libra.  You may also get a little lax in your wellness maintenance.  The demands of work and home ram up against each other.  Another woman in your family hits a nerve with her comments about the way you distribute your resources and handle your personal biznass.  How will you respond to the dig?

Scorpio

PHAEDRA AND APOLLO

Cozying up at home with family feels right in February, Scorpio.  Root down in solitude and pampering self-care.  Mercury’s retrograde means this is a shitty time to travel, so even if you are dying to flee to sunnier latitudes doing so between the sixth and the twenty-eighth may mean the trip will be more stressful than relaxing.  Furthermore, since the retrograde thins your already transparent tact, spare us all your biting comments by staying home alone.  While you are there, feel free to spruce, but hold off on major makeovers.  Now is not the time.  Valentine’s Day will be more about your professional success than your personal life.  What a nice opportunity to champion your own accomplishments for once.  Towards the end of the month, you are ready to get cute and get out there again.  Do more than contemplate taking risks, actually take them.

SagittariusJULIANNE AND BART

You have much to say this February, Sag.  Make lots of little dates in your neighborhood to catch up with friends and family so you chat everybody’s ear off.  You will feel an almost compulsive need to explain yourself, but with Mercury’s retrograde your message will likely get lost in translation no matter how many times you repeat it.  More than a few squabbles could erupt in your already tense household when your mindlessness ruins something important.  Money and the division of responsibilities also become hot button issues.  Slow down and take care to avoid accidents.  Speak your truth on Valentine’s Day.  It’s time to lay your cards on the candlelit table, Sag.  The latter part of the month stay home with your favorite women and talk about your feelings.  These ladies can help you regroup from your emotional frazzle.

Capricorn

KATE AND JAMIE

Capricorn calms down in February after a flurry of fresh energy at the start of the year.  Return to work, money, and stability, which is the nest where you feel most comfortable.  Back up anything electronic, as Mercury in retrograde means lost data.  In general, February is a good time to dial back on the communication overload – put the phone down, turn the computer off, silence your television.  Potential fiscal chaos ensues this month.  Spend less and carefully review accounts.  You may receive a windfall.  Valentine’s Day brings unexpected depth of feeling and intimacy.  Did you even know that you felt this way?  Enjoy the spark.  Use your creative aptitude to express your feelings in song or art.  Towards the end of the month some interesting new folks come into your life with some fascinating stories.  Listen carefully.

Happy Horse Year

ARAB ON THE BEACHHELPING HORSEFOALHORSES ON THE HILLCONNEMARA PONYDAVINCI HORSEMINI HORSE AND BIRDCAMARGUE HORSESPAINT HORSEIMG_20130213_114951IMG_20130213_140851

January 2014 Horoscopes

CapricornCAPRICORN

Happy Birthday in this New Year Capricorn!  It gets crowded in your celestial neighborhood with a clusterfuck of planetary activity.  Enjoy all shine on you Capricorn with a new moon and its accompanying nascent verve.  Always the dutiful workhorse, January virtually requires you get self-centered.  That doesn’t mean selfish; it just means self-focused.  Your homework is to do something frivolous that makes you happy.  In midst of fun, you may stumble upon a deeply held unconscious wish.  This is the key to uncovering your true desires.

AquariusAQUARIUS

Happy New Year Aquarius!  You might be writing 2013 on your checks for the next couple weeks because you aren’t quite done with last year.  Aquarius sifts through the recent past remembering an old home, a former lover, or the family that once was.  Letting go of these familiar loves, places, and habits isn’t easy and it will take you a little extra time to shift into the momentum of the New Year.  Take the time you need to close one chapter before you begin another.  Heal the wounds and clear the scar tissue surrounding those old emotional injuries.  When you make way, you’ll see the future clearly.

PiscesPISCES

Best New Year Wishes, Pisces!  Friendship, networking, and nonsexual connections dominate the January landscape.  Form your team.  Gather a worthy and skilled group.  At the helm of this mighty assembly, Pisces wields significant power and influence.  In January, Pisces people-pleasing tendencies butt-up against your own need for self-reflection.  What you really crave is deeper connections, but what you’re immersed in this month is buzzy fleeting interactions.  Make the most of your time with your most important person.  Keep secrets.

AriesARIES 2

Happy New Year Aries!  Take the long view.  Whatever you have simmering now will be perfectly cooked and ready to serve in about seven months.  Your ambitious plan flourishes by your commitment and self-control.  Obviously you work very hard Aries, and you’re one for recognition.  Careful you aren’t begging for attention like an orphaned dog.  Instead, concentrate on executing your vision so you can be the one giving approval instead of seeking it.  With regard to your personal life, those little lies, omissions, and deceptions will catch up to you sooner or later dirty-dealing Aries.  Consider the consequences of your actions and the ways dishonesty is eroding your relationship.  The universe will test your integrity this January.  Will you backstab to get what you want?

 TaurusTAURUS 2

New Year blessings to you Taurus!  Fresh firsts are your favorite and this new beginning has you awash in an optimistic glow.  Usually mired in the minutia, January provides an unusually expansive and beneficial perspective.  Planets align for romance and adventure.  Just whom or what do you want to do beautiful Bull?  How about arrange a super fun trip with friends to a corner of the world you have always wished to visit?  Perhaps a joint-venture with a business-minded friend sounds appealing?  Spearhead the effort and others will be swept up in your enthusiasm.  Level-headed Taurus handles practical considerations in short order, so feel free to fully fantasize.

GeminiGEMINI

Happy New Year Gemini!  While some of you squandered the last moments of 2013 acting desperate and slutty, others among you retained your dignity under the duvet as the proverbial ball dropped.  A number of planets in Capricorn influence gumby-like Gemini in a multitude of possible ways this January.  Will you tap into the power of the Sun, the insight of the Moon, the love of Venus, or the contemplation available in Mercury?  I vote you take the plunge of depth with Pluto.  In standard fashion, Gemini goes all in on the latest obsession/project.  Balance never really has been your strength, has it?  Enjoy your intense focus, the delicate process, and your fruitful results.

Cancer CANCER

New Year Greetings Cancer!  Most of your energy and thought funnels toward your primary relationship in January.  There’s just no escaping the cluster in your seventh house which governs close, confidante-like relationships as well as known enemies.  Exploring a new depth of connection, you’ll find yourself engaged in longing love stares and cuddling up like kittens.  Tension arises when Cancer tries to juggle the demands of partner and family against your own need for domestic downtime.  Will you capitulate to the wishes of your sweetie or will you put your own emotional needs first?

LeoLEO

A felicitous New Year to you Leo!  In January, you become the drill sergeant in the boot camp of your own life.  Leos making health-related resolutions possess the drive, organization, and will power to commit.  Now is the time to streamline your life into a simple and healthy routine.  This includes cleaning out the clutter that is physical, mentally, and spiritually blocking your path.  If you need to rest, do so rather than pushing yourself into illness.  Don’t expect others to embrace your health and cleaning kick with the same enthusiasm.

VirgoJob Number 2009126

Welcome to 2014 Virgo!  You feel like ringing in the New Year with a bang!  Literally.  You’ve got a tingle in your pants and a desire to tell it like it is which makes you a lot of fun to be around in January.  Throw down like the old days.  Remind them there was a time you didn’t sweat the pregame.  Flirting?  Yes.  Exhibitionist behavior?  For sure.  An embarrassing dance move?  I hope so.  Perhaps a smooch or two?  Pucker up.  Just remember we are in the digital age darling.  Keep the goodies covered.  Drag others along on this run of fun as everything is better when you’re ballsdeep in friends.

LibraLIBRA 2

Warm New Year Wishes Libra!  Nested at home is where you feel most comfort in January.  Creating the perfect table full of healthful foods feels deeply satisfying.  Gathering and connecting with the women nearest and dearest to you rounds out this nourishing time.  Replenish in good company and delicious meals.  All this homespun loving is great, but it also gives you a bit too much time to think.  Should you find yourself contemplating insane resolution-style mega shifts for the New Year like a move or a baby you could very well seal your own fate.

ScorpioSCORPIO

New Year Blessings Scorpio!  In January, you will talk and others will talk about you.  Wise Scorpios have watched, listened, and learned in the past months.  Now you have something to say and nothing can stop you from spurting out your true thoughts and feelings.  These ideas could lead to something interesting – a partnership perhaps?  Open up and you could very well catch the attention of a worthy collaborator.  As always, speak your mind, but do so tactfully so that you will be heard.  Now begins a seven month path of professional growth and discovery.

SagittariusSAG

A prosperous New Year to you Sagittarius!  Finally, some revenue accrues which begins January on a productive and lucrative note.  The financial momentum only reinforces the laser focus on your priorities.  More disciplined and professionally energized than ever, your intention has finally aligned with your talent.  Now is the time to eradicate obstacles and disbelief regarding your aptitude and capabilities.  Financial security provides options.  Will it be freedom or stability?  Remember, when it comes to money, make prudent choices like slow, steady saving.  Heed this advice and by summer you’ll have a soft place to land.