Category Archives: HOROSCOPE

May 2014 Horoscopes


Happy Birthday Taurus!  After a month of oppositional and tense energy, you are ready for a change both outwardly and inwardly.  Whether it’s a freshening of your personal appearance or a sprucing of your home, invest in a few significant upgrades in May.  Mother’s Day could be a real bitch this year.  Particularly reactive on the 11th, it’s easy to slip back into childish patterns.  Remember you are grown.  Give a nice gift and a pleasant (albeit forced) smile.  Keep your mouth shut or stuff it with pancakes.  Before making any big promises socially or professionally to team up and dream up, view the entire situation through a critical side-eye.  Get nakedly honest regarding the commitment the collaboration entails.  Don’t allow leisure activities originally intended for fun to become burdensome and stressful.  Scale back birthday plans to your nearest and dearest.  Not everybody and their cousin merits an invite.


The days before your birthday are for quiet retreat, Gemini.  The spotlight will soon be yours, take care of any messiness or undone chores nagging your subconscious.  Gemini’s spring cleaning includes weeding your friendship flowerbed of unhealthy additions.  The energy on Mother’s Day could present a number of challenges.  Expect tense family dynamics if you plan to spend the day among loved ones.  Play with the kiddos as an effective strategy for staying out of the fray.  Concerning your health, when is the last time you had a check-up or any preventive care?  Take care of yourself.


Embrace light-hearted fun in May, Cancer.  Twirl around parties.  Gossip and flirt.  Enjoy yourself by keeping conversations easy breezy.  Celebrating Mom may feel like a real chore this year, or you may not feel like you are getting credit where credit is due from your own ungrateful offspring and spouse.  Tense energy in the crabshell foreshadows a change in the domestic sphere.  Towards the end of the month, quiet the noise, slow down, and meet unmet obligations in preparation for your birthday.


Tap into your blonde ambition Leo, May is the month to make shit happen in your personal industry sector.  Light a match under your ass at work and go for it.  If you can’t see yourself moving onward and upward at your current grind, then put your energy into finding a more rewarding career.  Either way, your efforts will be rewarded.  May showers manifest as tears on Mother’s Day this year.  The tense energy makes for uncomfortable family gatherings.  If you know you can’t control your reactionary temper in the familial context, then limit your dealings to the minimum you can politely manage.


Virgo embraces adventure in May.  The daring could take many forms from the obvious – last minute travel – to the less obvious – a meditative journey inward.  Whatever trip you take, there’s a lesson in it for you.  Mother’s Day might be a mutherfucker for reasons beyond your control.  What is within your control is your reaction to unprovoked attacks.  Take a few deep breaths, imbibe a cocktail, and focus on what you love about your family.  With regard to your central relationship, you gotta decide if you are all in or all out because nobody can keep track of your pendulum swinging heart.


Libra craves intimacy and meaningful connection in May.  Spend time with your sweetie cuddled up at home.  The oppositional energy of the Grand Cross carries into May.  Libra certainly felt the harsh angles of this unusual stellar arrangement.  Why not take a self-imposed recovery period?  It’s a nice way of sparing us your moody discontentment.  Usually the family diplomat, this Mother’s Day your peace-making talents take temporary leave.  Mid-month, enjoy a burst of full moon Scorpio energy that stimulates career success.


Scorpio loves powerful partnership, and the desire to collaborate works up a hunger to define your latest relationship.  Total devotion forms the foundation of your dream union.  Most beings are not capable of that level of intensity or the totality of sacrifice required for mating with you.  Don’t belabor unsatisfying affiliations.  Honor your Ma on Mother’s Day whether near, far, or departed.  Extra-raw on the 11th, Scorpio’s got tail up, stinger poised.  Retract your weaponry Scorpio, today isn’t the day for offensive maneuvering.  We’re all suffering under the same strain, so send up a puff of compassion instead of attacking the weak and vulnerable.


Sagittarius is ready for some late spring cleaning in May.  First, file your paperwork and thin the stacks of clutter.  Next, pull out some pots and plant yourself a little windowsill garden.  The plants will nourish you in unforeseen ways in the coming months.  They will also clean the air and pump your home full of fresh oxygen.  Ferocious family dynamics have the potential to ruin Mother’s Day.  Unable to hold your tongue under this irrational influence, Sags could be major contributors to the chaos.  Even though at times it feels as though you’ve outgrown your friends, your own self-limiting beliefs are the source of most of your misdirected judgment and criticism.


Capricorn gets especially expressive in May after feeling downright repressed in April.  For the most part, this chatty streak works to your benefit.  Mother’s Day is the major exception.  Thoughtless comments and misconstrued humor could spark intense overreactions.  Bring a nice gift and stuff your face with food.  Lay in the cut and don’t be a dick.  It isn’t up to you to fix your family.  Instead of wasting energy on unsolicited advice for your clan, apply that care-taking energy to yourself.  Spend the last week of May organizing your life.  Tidy your home.  Eat better.  Refresh the wardrobe.


After an incredibly intense April, Aquarius requires a respite!  All the drama, stress, and conflict depleted your resources and patience.  Of all the signs, you are poised to deliver the best Mother’s Day as either the recipient or giver.  However you chose to celebrate motherhood, keep it low key and pampering.  Now is not the time to plan the world’s most elaborate brunch.  Even French toast can’t compete with selfish tantrum throwers – who are bound to make an appearance on the 11th.  Mid-month, an energetic boost in your career helps you decide if you should stay or go.


Your noggin is stormy with ideas in May, Pisces.  The notions come quickly and without much elaboration, so keep a notebook handy to jot down thoughts as they strike lightening fast.  A cloud hovers over Mother’s Day.  Pisces acts out with unpredictable moodiness.  If you are struggling to maintain your composure in your toxic familial soup, think of them as strangers and just be polite.  You wouldn’t overtly roll your eyes at a stranger across the lunch table, so don’t do it to your sister at family gatherings.  Towards the end of the month, Pisces feels especially emotionally vulnerable.  Spend this time alone or with a few trusted pals – no needy whiners!


With May comes a healthy dose of reality, Aries.  Start with an assessment of your finances.  Look at your accounts and compare the credit to debit columns.  If you’re running a deficit, you must reverse the flow from outgoing to incoming.  In order to do so, you will have to sacrifice some of your material desires.  Put quality thought and effort into honoring your mother this Mother’s Day.  Defy your selfish reputation by seizing this wonderful opportunity to display your thoughtfulness and love.  Aries’ sexual relationship gets a surge of intensity from the scorpion mid-month.  Everything you’ve been holding back will come spilling out in a gush of brutal honesty.

The Grand Cardinal Cross

GRAND CARDINAL CROSSAfter reading your horoscopes, many of you have questions about the significance of the Grand Cardinal Cross.  In April, the Grand Cardinal Cross manifests in the following configuration:  Uranus in Aries (fire), Jupiter in Cancer (water), Mars in Libra (air), and Pluto in Capricorn (earth).GRAND CARDINAL CROSS ILLUSUranus in Aries makes you want to assert your individual power for radical change, but you also don’t give a fuck if your Norma Rae rant alienates others.  Jupiter in Cancer expands your domestic sphere – think big hearth/big heart.  Mars forces Libra to confront conflict instead of always trying to inconspicuously smooth over the bumps.  Pluto in Capricorn means you begin to understand the shaky infrastructure of the beastly organizations upon which we precariously rely.2014 GRAND CARDINAL CROSS

The celestial tug-of-war could effect you in a number of ways: sleeplessness, parental issues, angry outbursts, frustration, abrupt conclusions, and forced change.  Somatically, I experience the building tension as a pressure headache.  Whatever your weakness, Grand Cardinal Cross demands you strengthen it.  Unsavory habits gotta go.4 WAY TUG

April 2014 Horoscopes


Happy Birthday Aries!  You wish this month was all cupcakes, balloons, and celebrations, but instead it’s all tense energy and big decisions.  Over the past few months, Aries has struggled in balancing domestic and professional responsibilities.  In April, that struggle to please converts into resentment over ignoring your own personal needs.  You give, you give, and you give and they still want more!  You’ve realized there is no end to their greedy thirst for your energy.  Quench your own thirst first in April.  April gifts you with the Grand Cross of tension between Mars, Jupiter, Uranus, and Pluto.  These are not the four planets you want playing together in your astrological sandbox.  The Grand Cross isn’t having any of your martyr shit, Aries.  If you over-give, it will deplete you.  After several months of waffling, April forces change in your relationships.  Often, you are the one that is difficult to get along with, so stop blaming others for the strife.  Even though energetically this is a challenging month for you Aries, it does give you the opportunity to show off some of your best qualities: your courage, generosity, and strength.  Regardless of the chaos and forced change that ensues in April, make decisions based on compassion.  By doing so, you will surface on the other side of this foursquare of tense energy proud of how you navigated the obstacles.


The majority of April serves as your pre-birthday rest period Taurus.  Unmotivated to meet the needs of others’ agendas, Taurus would rather stay in and sleep off those springtime allergies.  Embrace positive change in April by applying that notoriously strong self-discipline to areas of slack.  Quit smoking.  Lay off the booze.  Leave the line unsnorted.  The planets provide a helping hand in releasing negative habits.  The “Grand Cross” everyone keeps referring to is not a new Pilates machine.  Jupiter brings an exploration of new ideas which cause you to question and ditch some antiquated beliefs.  Often your inner skeptic keeps you from moving forward.  Let her protect you from all the shady douches running amok this month.  Take extra good care of yourself in April as your immune system is weakened.  Say “No” more than you say “Yes.”


Gemini gathers up the like-minded in April.  Instead of just talking about wanting to make a positive change in the world why don’t you actually do something positive?  Others welcome your sudden streak of self-expression as long as you serve intelligent ideas that are actually your own.  April’s tense Grand Cross planetary alignment spotlights all your financial messiness.  Sure, you do okay in the paycheck department, but what is your long-term financials strategy?  How much do you piss away on meaningless expenditures?  With regard to romance, beware of unresolved feelings and patterns.  Don’t disappear into other people.  Gemini loves to have a bunch of friends, but you aren’t very selective in who tags along.  In April, it becomes very clear who in your circle actually gives a fuck and who is a user.  By letting go of unhealthy attachments to parasitic people you will open up to new love and more fulfilling relationships.


Cancer hyperfocuses on career in April.  By prioritizing your own agenda and using that irrepressible Cancer charm to grease the right people that promotion you’ve been vying for could very well be yours.  Expect family and domestic drama this month – perhaps an unexpected drop-in from your sister or mom?  It could also mean a surprise move or unintended pregnancy.  Whatever excitement the stars have in store for you change is on the menu.  With the Grand Cardinal Cross influence there’s risk of calibrating into old destructive patterns thereby curtailing your progress.  When overwhelmed by the demands of both work and home ask for help.  Your standards for companionship are laughably low and it becomes glaringly obvious this month when you meet someone who’s actually got something to offer.  This giver has you contemplating the meaning of true partnership.


With the tension innate in the Grand Cross, April is a great time to get the hell outta dodge with a spring break trip Leo.  If physically fleeing isn’t feasible take your mind on an expansive trip to broaden your worldview.  Mid-month closure comes with regard to a pending issue.  Ruling out one possibility paves the way for an entirely new idea.  Emotionally speaking, the opposing energies of the Grand Cross bring a schizophrenic confusion to April.  You feel at once mellow and anxious, disciplined and lazy, and rushed and impatient.  Nothing feels quite right, but take consolation in the fact that it isn’t your fault.  To survive this tense time unscathed, you must quash arguments and think before you lash out over some trivial point.  Avoid big decisions this month.  Look to a mentor who has walked the path you wish to travel and listen to wise advice on how to navigate it successfully.



Other than laying low with your nearest and dearest, you don’t feel like doing much this month Virgo.  Your usual zest for elbow rubbing and small talk vanishes and instead you’d rather stay home and loaf.  April presents opportunities in real estate investment should you be in the market.  Mid-month major change comes to your career sector.  It may mean your current position ends and a new one emerges.  Don’t get nauseous in the tumult.  Use the change to evaluate what you really want from your life.  What do you need to alter to shape your current life into the one you truly long for?  The Cardinal Cross is the energetic equivalent of a four-way rack – as in the torture device which pulls you apart in opposite directions.  Virgo’s opposing interests include money, intimacy, friends, and self-expression.  New friends compete against old loyalties.  Money becomes a source of conflict.  This time you are the one who is acting like a dick.



April is a happy month for you Libra as long as you are clear about communicating your needs.  Once you put it out there, it is up to your partner to respond.  Don’t force the situation, but remain assertive.  Libra receives the glow of the lunar eclipse on the 15th.  Take credit for your best qualities and responsibility for your faults.  The Grand Cardinal Cross has special meaning for you as a Cardinal sign.  This tense energy will betray any cracks in the foundation of your life: family, relationships, home, livelihood.  Libra unintentionally causes friction with thoughtless comments.  You can come off as pretentious and haughty when insecure.  This April be extra nice and forgiving without giving away your power.  By the end of the month you’re tapped, and would rather stay rooted at home than fussing with the inconsiderate public.



Self-care takes precedence in April as Scorpio’s hectic pace has taken a toll on you as of late.  Always one to work smarter rather than harder, structure your life in a way that best supports your current needs.  Clean, organize, and keep it simple.  April brings humbling moments which will require you to surrender your ego and judgments.  Ask for the help you need.  The Grand Cardinal Cross forces action for Scorpio.  You aren’t one to shirk on responsibilities even when overextended.  Let April be a lesson that your energy and talent must be replenished with adequate self-nurturing.  April also brings the possibility for a true partner or the cementing of an important preexisting bond.  The relationship seeds formed under April’s influence blossom into beautiful, lasting flowers over the coming months.


Sagittarius enjoys a little well-deserved levity in April after a rough few months of hard work.  The lunar eclipse brings resolve to old festering issues mid-month.  For you Sagittarius, the Grand Cross emotionally pulls you apart like a dinner roll.  Sags self-limit with stubborn notions.  Your rigid ideas keep people away.  In April, you need help and are forced to soften into compromise.  With this softening comes the realization that you bear the responsibility for a great deal of conflict over the last year.  Sags continue to repeat these negative and hurtful patterns until you bring mindfulness to your interactions.  Others will continue to trigger you until you get a handle on your temper.  By the end of the month, you are ready to get your body in order.  Cut the sugar and get off your ass.


April is an ideal time to reconnect with family, dear Capricorn.  Take a break from work.  Your heart isn’t in it this month.  Your heart does need tending to though so turn inward and ask yourself the tough questions.  Better yet; ask your mom the tough questions and drink in her wisdom like fine wine.  To succeed in relationships (and in sex) you must embrace the concept of reciprocity.  By the 15th the lunar eclipse will force your hand on indecision.  Get clear about what you want, but remain flexible in the face of unpredictability.  A sense of humor makes the last ten days of the month feel substantially lighter and more tolerable.  You are at your best and most attractive when playful and funny.


Even though others are feeling tense this month you are ready for some April foolishness.  Unleash your fun-loving prankster Aquarius.  In between strategic whoopee cushion placements, gobble up all available intel.  Primed to retain new ideas, Aquarius enjoys reading, watching, and learning in April.  Go big the first three weeks, and then when you hit a fatigue wall come back home and recharge.  Reminisce over old photos.  Help your mom organize old memories and soak in the family stories.  These are your roots, and when you look at your life from its nascence you can appreciate your evolution.  Take care of your body.  The Grand Cross weakens your immunity.  Don’t waste energy quarreling with others this month.  You won’t get anywhere in the power struggle and the fussing will just deplete and frustrate you.


Pisces your mantra in April is you better work bitch.  Stage one: get organized.  Stage two: work systematically with a list.  Stage three: complete your list.  Tap into your network of contacts while connections are fresh and friendly.  April 15th brings a sweep of change vis-à-vis the lunar eclipse.  Situations and relationships that no longer serve you have to go without further room for negotiation.  The energy of the Grand Cross forces further sweeping change in the sacred areas of home, family, and finances.  Stop asking other people’s opinions and then getting aggravated with their answers.  If you don’t want to know, don’t ask.  Get honest about your financial anxiety and cost of living.  Can you afford yourself?  April is not about big talk.  April is about big action.  Now seriously, get to work bitch.

March 2014 Horoscopes


Happy Birthday Pisces!  You feel aglow in the energy of the new moon and all the fresh momentum that comes with Mercury’s forward moment.  Just as Mercury moves out of retrograde, here comes Mars and Saturn spinning backwards to fuck everything up for you Pisces.  Find the benefit of the slowing in certain areas.  Take this time to reevaluate relationships and finances.  These energetic gaps give you time to catch up and get sorted; seize them!  You have every right to get properly laid on your birthday.  Pisces are among the most desirable and intoxicating lovers of the zodiac.  You struggle between wanting nice things and stressing over spending.  Bring more awareness to everyday wasteful habits like those small daily expenditures.  By cutting out mindless comfort spending, you’ll have a money cushion for more significant splurges.  March is wonderful time to explore therapy little Fish.  You could use some help navigating the choppy waters.


Just as Aries gets oriented to the New Year, all is about to change for you.  It’s time to call upon that Aries adaptability.  Rest and relax to start the month off in a nourished state.  Have a good cry while you’re buried in the covers.  Get your body back in shape before the equinox.  If you’ve gotten overly invested in other people’s problems, pull that energy back and direct it towards your central relationship.  Instead of slipping into martyr mode, ask for help instead.  A series of retrogrades throughout the month cause a marked delay.  Use the tempo change to review and reassess.  Aries on the hunt for a new home finally find a nest.  For those looking to expand the family, the time is right.


Web-based connections become the source of meaningful collaboration in March for Taurus.  By combining your flair for first impressions with your knack for social media, you’ve created a well of resources for yourself and others to tap.  Use your broad reach to promote a person or idea you believe in strongly.  Easy, fleeting, flirty messaging is most effective – stay out of the deep end of the conversational swimming pool.  After a motivated start to 2014, you are noticeably less committed to all those big wellness goals.  Give yourself a break.  You don’t have to run a marathon just because you signed up three months ago.  Focus on your work and relationships as this is where your energy is most needed now.


Professionally, Gemini shines in March – perhaps a new offer?  Set up an intentional course which supports your long-term security.  Super spacey, you are known for a lot of hot air and very little hot action.  Why not pick one thing you care about and actually follow through?  Mid-month, spend a little time resting and reconnecting with family.  Schedule baby-making for the full moon.  In an effort to connect with people, you over-give and wind up feeling under-compensated.  You resent your own peace-keeping efforts even though it’s your fear of alienation that keeps you from speaking your truth.  The retrograde may tempt you with the past.  Don’t bother; it will only lead to dissatisfaction.


Freedom is your theme in March, Cancer.  A trip will help shift your perspective and allow you to let go of unhealthy attachments.  For awhile now, Cancer has been overly involved in an unsatisfying romantic situation.  Instead of getting frustrated that you can’t set up the dollhouse to your specific liking, put the dolls down and go play outside with the dog.  Better to create breathing room than allow the tension to crest into a frothy wave of frustration.  Step out of self-pity and go for what you want!  You are an achiever!  Enough with the needs of other people; it isn’t your job to gilt their path.  Your work on this planet is to continually evolve into your best self.  Remove obstacles blocking your journey to greatness.


March is your month to retreat, relax, and focus on intimacy, Leo.  Feeling emotionally raw, you’d rather spend time alone or with a trusted few than risk the salt sting of the insensitive masses.  Ordinarily, Leo has an artful way of operating from ego and still remaining likable.  In March your communication style shifts from likeably effective to overly pushy.  Others notice, and it causes friction in a number of relationships if you don’t mellow a skosh.  Need another reason to stay in bed?  Your immune system is compromised this month, and therefore you are more likely to catch a bug if you are out and about.  Eat and sleep well.  Invest in your retirement mid-month.  Take a spring break trip after the equinox.


Enough hibernation – Virgo’s ready for spring!  Now is the time to reach out and solidify important connections.  Meaningfully commit to the most important people in your life.  Make them a priority by your words and actions.  Reevaluate unbalanced relationships, and either create equanimity or cut the energysuck loose.  You’ve only got so much to give.  Lately, giving feels like all you’ve been doing in certain relationships.  Has codependency enslaved you?  Are you still involved because you fear aloneness?  Work stress paired with money panic creates the most anxiety in March.  Don’t need the stars to tell you to curb the extra spending to allay fiscal concerns.


Start March off tight and right with a thorough tidying sesh, Libra.  The dustbunnies have formed a colony; it’s time to go in and eradicate the filth.  Even though housework seems basic, organization saves time – of which you have little to spare.  Libran energy ebbs and flows this March.  When you are feeling it – sweep.  When you don’t feel like vacuuming – lie around in your comfies.  No judgment.  Conserve your resources and make sure your rainy day fund is full.  Emergency money is a must.  Ensure you have the reserves to weather a crisis.  The multiple pulls on your time have you feeling like a ragdoll.  You also feel the shade of a few critical eyes.  Don’t let it getcha down.


March to your own beat and express yourself Scorpio.  From your playful vantage point, you could give a fuck about what anybody thinks this month.  Boldly deliver your message of compassion and love!  Be mindful of retrogrades causing backspins throughout March.  Intense demands on your time coupled with this energetic slowing in certain sectors can make you feel like you can’t access all your power.  Know you’ve already survived the worst this year has to offer.  Continue on your recent path of self-improvement; there’s still more work to do.  The universe will continue to test you by sending people who are all talk.  As you get stronger, needy people swarm.  You aren’t running an emotional soup kitchen.  If folks aren’t bringing anything to the table, don’t invite them to dine.  Communicate gentle truth.  From the 20th forward, it’s all about the spring revamp starting with a super lean and strong body.


Self and home improvements dominate March for Sagittarius.  After a busy few months, you finally have the time to look around and see mess that has accumulated in your haste.  As you take a longer look in the mirror, you’re annoyed by areas of neglect.  March makes a great time for spring cleaning, so stay in and tidy up.  Continue to focus on a few key relationships and mentors.  Call your Dad.  Weakened defenses make you particularly susceptible to a bout of whatever’s currently communicable.  Take every extra precaution against germy contact with the masses.  Nourish and support your body with healthy food and sleep instead of loading up with symptom-masking drugs.  After the equinox, you’ll feel like getting up and out on the scene again.


With a cooling at work, Capricorn has the time and energy to evaluate relationships in March.  You’ve tolerated the flakiness of friends long enough and you’re feeling a lot less patient with the antics of others.  Pursue an equal partner who you can truly trust.  Super attractive in March, you’ll have no issues luring a desirable mate.  Any resistance in relationships lifts as an influential retrograde ends.  Take a spring break trip during the second half of March, but think more metaphysical than meta physical.  If you’re still going hard on your New Year’s resolution workout routine, consider giving your body a rest.  Overdoing it can result in injury altogether sidelining you from the fun.


Aquarius cleans out the ol’ pocketbook and instead of finding extra change you find a gross pile of lint and condom wrappers.  You’ve had your share of fun.  As you recover from your birthday bloat you are ready to get back to work.  Some of your party pals will be disappointed to see you retreat, but you’ll feel better when your bank balance floats above 3 figures.  Your body will feel better when you give up your three drink minimum.  Consolidation is the theme of the March for you Aquarius, as you’ve been scattered here, there, and everywhere recently.  March brings the potential for some really good sex if you focus in on the right person.  When you feel like you can truly merge with someone special, pursue the connection with ferocious aggression.

February 2014 Horoscopes


Happy Birthday Aquarius!  The sun beams down on you from above, so you better make sure you look good!  Get right in February with a personal spruce.  Complete important communications and contracts during the first week of the month before Mercury goes retrograde the sixth through the twenty-eighth.  Rather than grandstanding during your birthday acceptance speech, turn those proclamations into appreciativeness.  As for Valentine’s Day, a full moon illuminates your house of commitment.  Engagement anyone?  Single?  This month could bring a true partner.  Post-Valentine’s Day it’s time to buckle down and get back to work.  This industriousness continues for the next month during which your main priorities are productivity and performance.  Now is an excellent time to evaluate whether everything in your life is rising up to meet you.  Take extra good care of yourself as your immunity is compromised and you are susceptible to stress and illness.  Step back and engage your expansive world view to see that all these little hassles are ultimately insignificant.



Let go Pisces!   Now is the time to surrender to the intense fatigue you’re experiencing.  Hibernate and look back on the last year before your birthday celebrations commence.  Are there things left undone that you’ve been needling yourself to finish?  When you are out and about, your interactions with others won’t feel quite right.  Your first impression won’t be your best.  With Mercury in retrograde in Pisces until the twelfth, resist radical change in any department.  State any instructions clearly and succinctly even if it feels tedious, it will save you much disappointment later.  In your friendship tribe, don’t repeat anything you don’t want repeated.  If you spread gossip, you’ll be hunted down and confronted.  Others will try to shift the blame your way.


Thank goodness for Aries in February because you coax the hibernators to party.  This socializing has a side order of practicality attached since a few of these associations prove influential.  February sends Mercury back into retrograde and you know what that means: communication breakdown, technological glitches, and the resurfacing of contacts from your past.  February presents a superb opportunity to finally close the trap door to your heart’s ancient pain.  Recognize this pain as a pathological block to your evolution.  The remainder of the month requires a great deal of collaboration.  Working with others ain’t easy, Aries.  Expect the standard interpersonal drama, then add some extra hatery for a clearer picture of the anticipated group dynamic.  Stay far, far away from the meaningless squabbles.  Continue to clearly and patiently reiterate your expectations.  So you want to know about Valentine’s Day, huh?  Unattached Aries, scroll down your contacts list until a spark flies off an old friend.  Committed Aries, go ballsdeep in the romance department – spare no cliché or expense.



Charged with ambition and a new moon in your career sector, February sets forth a six month strategy for achieving major milestones, Taurus.  Mercury’s retrograde makes this a miserable time for travel, technology, and clarity.  Expect conflict to arise from the confusion.  If things get heated, just withdraw and come back later when the energy is more conducive to resolution.  Use the thrust of Mercury’s backspin to – rearrange, edit, review, and reassess.  Your heart and home are lit from within this Valentine’s Day.  Stay in and nest.  Enjoy entertaining family and friends.  The last third of the month Taurus gets more interested in socializing.  Particularly adept at rounding folks up on social media, use your web reach to gather your people into one big lovefest.  Watch out for untrustworthy motivations and remain skeptical.  Stay off the booze.



February is about big thinking Gemini – an expansion and broadening of your world view.  Whether it’s travel, study, business, or philanthropy, Gemini wants to stretch the boundaries of your current life.  With your ruler Mercury retrograde in Pisces, not all your energy will be forward moving, especially with regard to career.  Finish what is left undone.  Guard against saboteurs.  Minimize distractions.  Later this month, long term professional goals come into focus.  Priorities become clearer.  The last week of the month expect some relationship drama.  As your confidence grows, so does conflict.  Fights erupt over sex, money, and jealousy.  Your special someone baits you repeatedly in an effort to get you to show that you care.  You respond with emotional detachment.  Happy Valentine’s Day Gemini.


WENDY WILLIAMS KEVIN HUNTERFebruary is the time for some serious self-work.  Some Cancers are so emotionally overloaded that you have to insulate in various (often destructive) ways from your own feelings.  Now is the time to face your emotions, stare yourself down, and finally get a handle on your internal world.  Consider this full-on permission to feel it all.  Cancer exudes sexuality this February which coincides nicely with Valentine’s Day; the uptick in clinginess and jealously, not so much.  Expect some tension with your partner when you assert your own needs.  No legitimate reason to sacrifice yourself for the sake of the relationship except you secretly enjoy the control you assert over the arrangement.  Ultimately, neither of you will benefit from such an imbalanced power dynamic.  With Mercury in retrograde in your travel house, best to just stay put unless a trip proves absolutely necessary.  This retrograde also means you might piss people off with a condescending comment, so spend more time listening than talking.  February’s flush with cash, but save instead of spend.



Lucky Leo, the stars align for love and partnership in February.  Thriving in collaboration, you generously give and thereby receive in return.  February softens your ego and need for attention allowing you to temporarily share shine with others.  Finances serve as potential conflict hotspots this month.  Shelve any non-urgent money talks.  With Mercury retrograde in Aquarius, imbalances will become apparent and a need for fairness kicks in hard.  Let everyone take the time they need without bullying them into your terms.  Plan a big, confident debut for Valentine’s Day.  After the amorous celebrations wind down, recharge at home with a cuddle on the sofa.  Lions need privacy too, especially in February.  Spend extra time in bed catching up on sleep and sipping on nourishing soups as Leo suffers compromised immunity this month.  In addition, the stress of a betrayal robs you of energy.


Ready, set, organize Virgo!  You are motivated with lists, plans, and goals this February, particularly in the areas of health and fitness.  Quiet the chaos and return to order, and start with your own body Virgo.  Mercury’s retrograde could strain relationships or cause you to overlook critical details.  Review documents thoroughly and excise unnecessary stress.  Valentine’s Day presents a make or break epiphany moment for your relationship.  In the clear light of the full moon you see once and for all whether you can make a go of it with your sweetheart.  If it is time to go, you’ll know.  Distrust permeates all your relationships this month.  Others perceive your concern as prying.  Proceed cautiously; if at all.  All this volatility can easily take you off center.  Take whatever measures necessary to get back to yourself.



This February, get creative with that legendary Libran beauty and amplify your sex appeal.  Enjoy glamorous evenings flirting, but expect of a few of those coquettish comments to land unintended.  Your intense desire for attention could spiral into drama if you don’t channel it into more constructive endeavors.  Display your creative gifts and receive the right kind of attention.  Don’t forget your friends on Valentine’s Day.  For some of you February means the conception of a baby as you are especially fertile, even if communication with your partner is somewhat strained.  You don’t need to talk to fuck.  Mercury’s retrograde means disorganization and scheduling chaos for Libra.  You may also get a little lax in your wellness maintenance.  The demands of work and home ram up against each other.  Another woman in your family hits a nerve with her comments about the way you distribute your resources and handle your personal biznass.  How will you respond to the dig?



Cozying up at home with family feels right in February, Scorpio.  Root down in solitude and pampering self-care.  Mercury’s retrograde means this is a shitty time to travel, so even if you are dying to flee to sunnier latitudes doing so between the sixth and the twenty-eighth may mean the trip will be more stressful than relaxing.  Furthermore, since the retrograde thins your already transparent tact, spare us all your biting comments by staying home alone.  While you are there, feel free to spruce, but hold off on major makeovers.  Now is not the time.  Valentine’s Day will be more about your professional success than your personal life.  What a nice opportunity to champion your own accomplishments for once.  Towards the end of the month, you are ready to get cute and get out there again.  Do more than contemplate taking risks, actually take them.


You have much to say this February, Sag.  Make lots of little dates in your neighborhood to catch up with friends and family so you chat everybody’s ear off.  You will feel an almost compulsive need to explain yourself, but with Mercury’s retrograde your message will likely get lost in translation no matter how many times you repeat it.  More than a few squabbles could erupt in your already tense household when your mindlessness ruins something important.  Money and the division of responsibilities also become hot button issues.  Slow down and take care to avoid accidents.  Speak your truth on Valentine’s Day.  It’s time to lay your cards on the candlelit table, Sag.  The latter part of the month stay home with your favorite women and talk about your feelings.  These ladies can help you regroup from your emotional frazzle.



Capricorn calms down in February after a flurry of fresh energy at the start of the year.  Return to work, money, and stability, which is the nest where you feel most comfortable.  Back up anything electronic, as Mercury in retrograde means lost data.  In general, February is a good time to dial back on the communication overload – put the phone down, turn the computer off, silence your television.  Potential fiscal chaos ensues this month.  Spend less and carefully review accounts.  You may receive a windfall.  Valentine’s Day brings unexpected depth of feeling and intimacy.  Did you even know that you felt this way?  Enjoy the spark.  Use your creative aptitude to express your feelings in song or art.  Towards the end of the month some interesting new folks come into your life with some fascinating stories.  Listen carefully.

Happy Horse Year


January 2014 Horoscopes


Happy Birthday in this New Year Capricorn!  It gets crowded in your celestial neighborhood with a clusterfuck of planetary activity.  Enjoy all shine on you Capricorn with a new moon and its accompanying nascent verve.  Always the dutiful workhorse, January virtually requires you get self-centered.  That doesn’t mean selfish; it just means self-focused.  Your homework is to do something frivolous that makes you happy.  In midst of fun, you may stumble upon a deeply held unconscious wish.  This is the key to uncovering your true desires.


Happy New Year Aquarius!  You might be writing 2013 on your checks for the next couple weeks because you aren’t quite done with last year.  Aquarius sifts through the recent past remembering an old home, a former lover, or the family that once was.  Letting go of these familiar loves, places, and habits isn’t easy and it will take you a little extra time to shift into the momentum of the New Year.  Take the time you need to close one chapter before you begin another.  Heal the wounds and clear the scar tissue surrounding those old emotional injuries.  When you make way, you’ll see the future clearly.


Best New Year Wishes, Pisces!  Friendship, networking, and nonsexual connections dominate the January landscape.  Form your team.  Gather a worthy and skilled group.  At the helm of this mighty assembly, Pisces wields significant power and influence.  In January, Pisces people-pleasing tendencies butt-up against your own need for self-reflection.  What you really crave is deeper connections, but what you’re immersed in this month is buzzy fleeting interactions.  Make the most of your time with your most important person.  Keep secrets.

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Happy New Year Aries!  Take the long view.  Whatever you have simmering now will be perfectly cooked and ready to serve in about seven months.  Your ambitious plan flourishes by your commitment and self-control.  Obviously you work very hard Aries, and you’re one for recognition.  Careful you aren’t begging for attention like an orphaned dog.  Instead, concentrate on executing your vision so you can be the one giving approval instead of seeking it.  With regard to your personal life, those little lies, omissions, and deceptions will catch up to you sooner or later dirty-dealing Aries.  Consider the consequences of your actions and the ways dishonesty is eroding your relationship.  The universe will test your integrity this January.  Will you backstab to get what you want?

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New Year blessings to you Taurus!  Fresh firsts are your favorite and this new beginning has you awash in an optimistic glow.  Usually mired in the minutia, January provides an unusually expansive and beneficial perspective.  Planets align for romance and adventure.  Just whom or what do you want to do beautiful Bull?  How about arrange a super fun trip with friends to a corner of the world you have always wished to visit?  Perhaps a joint-venture with a business-minded friend sounds appealing?  Spearhead the effort and others will be swept up in your enthusiasm.  Level-headed Taurus handles practical considerations in short order, so feel free to fully fantasize.


Happy New Year Gemini!  While some of you squandered the last moments of 2013 acting desperate and slutty, others among you retained your dignity under the duvet as the proverbial ball dropped.  A number of planets in Capricorn influence gumby-like Gemini in a multitude of possible ways this January.  Will you tap into the power of the Sun, the insight of the Moon, the love of Venus, or the contemplation available in Mercury?  I vote you take the plunge of depth with Pluto.  In standard fashion, Gemini goes all in on the latest obsession/project.  Balance never really has been your strength, has it?  Enjoy your intense focus, the delicate process, and your fruitful results.


New Year Greetings Cancer!  Most of your energy and thought funnels toward your primary relationship in January.  There’s just no escaping the cluster in your seventh house which governs close, confidante-like relationships as well as known enemies.  Exploring a new depth of connection, you’ll find yourself engaged in longing love stares and cuddling up like kittens.  Tension arises when Cancer tries to juggle the demands of partner and family against your own need for domestic downtime.  Will you capitulate to the wishes of your sweetie or will you put your own emotional needs first?


A felicitous New Year to you Leo!  In January, you become the drill sergeant in the boot camp of your own life.  Leos making health-related resolutions possess the drive, organization, and will power to commit.  Now is the time to streamline your life into a simple and healthy routine.  This includes cleaning out the clutter that is physical, mentally, and spiritually blocking your path.  If you need to rest, do so rather than pushing yourself into illness.  Don’t expect others to embrace your health and cleaning kick with the same enthusiasm.

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Welcome to 2014 Virgo!  You feel like ringing in the New Year with a bang!  Literally.  You’ve got a tingle in your pants and a desire to tell it like it is which makes you a lot of fun to be around in January.  Throw down like the old days.  Remind them there was a time you didn’t sweat the pregame.  Flirting?  Yes.  Exhibitionist behavior?  For sure.  An embarrassing dance move?  I hope so.  Perhaps a smooch or two?  Pucker up.  Just remember we are in the digital age darling.  Keep the goodies covered.  Drag others along on this run of fun as everything is better when you’re ballsdeep in friends.

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Warm New Year Wishes Libra!  Nested at home is where you feel most comfort in January.  Creating the perfect table full of healthful foods feels deeply satisfying.  Gathering and connecting with the women nearest and dearest to you rounds out this nourishing time.  Replenish in good company and delicious meals.  All this homespun loving is great, but it also gives you a bit too much time to think.  Should you find yourself contemplating insane resolution-style mega shifts for the New Year like a move or a baby you could very well seal your own fate.


New Year Blessings Scorpio!  In January, you will talk and others will talk about you.  Wise Scorpios have watched, listened, and learned in the past months.  Now you have something to say and nothing can stop you from spurting out your true thoughts and feelings.  These ideas could lead to something interesting – a partnership perhaps?  Open up and you could very well catch the attention of a worthy collaborator.  As always, speak your mind, but do so tactfully so that you will be heard.  Now begins a seven month path of professional growth and discovery.


A prosperous New Year to you Sagittarius!  Finally, some revenue accrues which begins January on a productive and lucrative note.  The financial momentum only reinforces the laser focus on your priorities.  More disciplined and professionally energized than ever, your intention has finally aligned with your talent.  Now is the time to eradicate obstacles and disbelief regarding your aptitude and capabilities.  Financial security provides options.  Will it be freedom or stability?  Remember, when it comes to money, make prudent choices like slow, steady saving.  Heed this advice and by summer you’ll have a soft place to land.

December 2013 Horoscopes

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Happy Birthday Sag!  After a year of achievement you are ready to roll out the newest and most improved version of yourself.  Congratulations on all you have accomplished and how far you have come this year.  Life is about to get bigger, bolder, and more interesting.  Envision a plan that will unfold over the next several months and culminate mid-summer.  Whatever purpose you set forth now, you’ll have the momentum and capability to successfully execute it.  The first week of December, professional connections prove a most important element to your success; best not to burn any bridges since you’ll need good word of mouth through the end of the summer and beyond.  After a period of social alienation, Sags fall back in with a like-minded crowd.  You are excited and engaged by the synergy of ideas this new group has to offer and are nourished by the camaraderie.  Don’t totally unhinge on the 17th when the full moon unleashes a riptide of emotions and drama.  Realize it is always in your nature to think of yourself first.  Recognize this time you are unreasonable.  When you feel yourself all worked up into a Sag tizzy, remember making amends liberates.  You are not a victim.  In fact, mostly you are the dickhead.  Admit that you have consciously or unconsciously hurt others.  When you feel the urge to recoil in self-pity, open your heart instead.


Go to bed Capricorn!  December is your month to recharge and it’s vitally important to your well-being that you get some rest.  Cuddle up and complete your holiday shopping online.  Back out of parties.  Commit only to your pajamas.  Whether you heed the advice to rest or not will come into play mid-month when your health either shows the benefits of rest or the signs of neglect in illness and fatigue.  Overworked Caps tend to eat whatever is handy regardless of nutrition content and sustenance.  Realize how these mindless choices affect your productivity in the long-run.  Resist the temptation to save the day at work.  This time it isn’t your problem.  Before blowing up all your bottled frustration at a loved-one this month, first consider what you really need and then ask for it.  Nobody likes a tantrum.


Throw a party Aquarius!  You are feeling fun, social, and flirty this December.  Gather up your old favorites and your new friends and make merry.  Especially on December 17th, expect a magic – if you are trying to conceive this is your night.  Watch the partying though, a thoughtless inebriated comment might really end up hurting someone you care for.  As December concludes, Aquarius is ready to retire.  The energy is ripe for conflict on Christmas day, so do all you can to temper your ego in arguments.  Who cares if you are right?  Forcing your position down our throats makes you unlikable.  Find something else to do to occupy your mind like crafts with the kids, a snowball fight, or baking.


In these last days of the year Pisces, triumph could finally be yours after twelve months of hard-work.  December initiates a six-month period of professional advancement.  A new career opportunity or promotion buoys your confidence and alleviates financial stress to some degree.  A positive energetic atmosphere provides the space for you to come into your most authentic genuine self in December.  This month provides for chance meetings with old friends, moments of winsome nostalgia, and memory-making with family.  There are two areas of potential concern: 1) jealousy and one-upmanship in the gift-giving arena; and 2) simmering unexpressed hostility with a female relative.  Come prepared with strategies to deescalate conflict – like with your cheerful antics, or by removing yourself from the situation entirely.


Thanks goodness for you this month Aries!  You are all good cheer, generosity, and well-wishing (we need it so thank you).  Unusually talkative and expressive, Aries feels especially optimistic and enthusiastic about life in December.  As part of this adventurous spirit, travel appeals to Aries, so consider where you might like to land.  On the 9th, a harmonious energetic triangle forms which could lead to a major emotional breakthrough in your intimate relationships.  With family, loans are repaid (literally or metaphorically).  A wave of forgiveness washes out months of pent up hostility.  Tense energy around Christmas has everybody especially sensitive.  To keep the peace Aries, reign in your fiery and combative nature.  You are already naturally overly aggressive, tone it down or end up in an embarrassing and inappropriate screaming match.


Turn in Taurus.  Hibernate this December to recharge from your hectic pace.  Stay home and don’t worry if your social demand temporarily slows, it will return in full force.  Stock your fridge (and your bong) with green leafy goodness.  Leave the alcohol and the fatty foods to the revelers.  With the new moon on the 17th, your financial sector looks strong, but your emotional restraint weak.  Taurus is susceptible to emotional outbursts – ones you usually regret – so think twice and take three deep breaths before going hard on a motherfucker.  Christmas is expected to be tense for everyone.  Ground all the crazy energy with thoughtful words and actions.  Your steady Taurus influence can really make a difference when other folks with less self-control are climbing the walls.


Gemini is in the mood for romance, courtship, and love during this especially relationship-minded time.  Around the 7th, you might even make a baby if you aren’t careful.  The new moon on the 17th brings both good and bad tidings.  Plans set in motion back in June now blossom into full expression.  Take credit for what you have manifested.  On the flipside, simmering tension could cause a backlash with one person in particular.  Refrain from snide commentary; just let the wave of hostility crash and recede.  Christmas will be tense for everyone, but for you this means spreading your energy too thin among too many.  All-over-the-place Gemini requires grounding.  Dig into activities that make you feel less scattered and more centered.


This December, Cancer is all about creating healthy alternatives to the crush of fat and sugar this holiday season.  Even though you love a tasty delight as much as the next Crab, the new moon has you motivated to make meaningful lifestyle changes.  In the midst of a four month quieting, now reevaluate and assimilate the change you’ve experienced in the preceding year.  Use this time to set the course for the coming months.  Love looks goods for most of the month, particularly the middle two weeks when you feel especially intimate and cozy.  When Christmas conflict arises, stay out of it!  Cancer’s tendency to mediate and supplicate won’t help with the tense and unreasonable factions warring.  There isn’t anything for you to offer the situation except silence.


We are all relying on you to tack up the mistletoe this year Leo.  Your fun and festive energy is exactly what we need this December.  The flirtatious bulbs you plant now will blossom into to full blown love blooms by the summer.  Thanks goodness you are around to add some desperately needed compassion to the family table this holiday season.  With almost everybody at each other’s throats, your forgiving energy is the perfect counterpoint and example.  The new moon on the 17th could bring with it a blunt tongue.  Take extra measures to soften your delivery.  An unintended sharp tone paired with another’s oversensitivity could spell social disaster.  Christmas brings out the worst in you this year and you might be jointly responsible for holiday drama if you don’t cool your worst tendencies, especially with siblings.


Cuddle up at home this month Virgo.  Recharge and replenish by sleeping long nights and surfing the sofa.  Even though you would rather be at home you are thinking big.  By physically slowing down, Virgo has the time and energy to put towards solutions and expansion.  There will be evenings you need to muster your energy and your best dress for important social-professional gatherings.  Big relationship decisions – like the degree to which to merge – come forth on the 17th.  You may be tempted to go sorting through old trunks of musty emotional rubbage.  If you must.  More importantly, don’t stuff your feelings down in a stocking Virgo.  Just tell us what you need.  Resist the urge to be cunty or shut down in response to caustic Christmas energy.  Don’t blame other people for your financial stress.  You are the one who waited until the last minute and then overspent.


December is a wonderful time for you Libra.  It’s full of fizzy chatter and the exchange of ideas.  Buy an extra cell phone charger – you’re bound to need it.  Libra feels extra charismatic, energized, and effective.  Take advantage of your power and confidence.  Go for what you want at work.  The 17th brings on a travel itch.  Get to planning your dream trip.  Loved up Libras enjoy nesting, decorating, and cozy family time.  Beware of challenging energy that coincides with Christmas.  You contribute to the chaos by promising too much.  You simply can’t be everywhere at once.  Set up expectations and you will let people down this year; best not to commit.


Work is everything for you in December Scorpio as you ride the last wave of professional momentum into the New Year.  Always practical, you know you need a bulging purse to meet every upcoming obligation and you are ready to put in the hours to pay every bill and end up with a little leftover for your 2014 travel fund.  Scorpio needs to look extrasexual for that holiday party this year because you could meet someone very interesting indeed.  The second week of December commences a period of conservation for Scorpio.  Over the next nine months, you will experience an emotional purging and accompanying fits of struggle.  This is an important healing time to process grief, let go of past loves, and make amends.  Graciously provide yourself more sleep to restore.  Scorpio, you know your Christmas-time triggers, so just get a hotel room and spare us all your grouching.


November 2013 Horoscopes


Happy Birthday Scorpio!  This is your year for reinvention and it all begins with the solar eclipse and new moon combo on November 3rd.  A surge of energy ignites the power of transformation.  Finally, you are ready to step into your full and unlimited potential, and you possess all the skills and ambition to do so.  November marks the commencement of a new life trajectory.  Your substantial gifts are the source of your abundance and your talent is worth paying for.  Professionally, the idea of a partner has always intrigued you.  A potentially worthy candidate makes you an interesting offer.  Hold off until after the retrograde concludes on the 9th before you make any decisions or commitments.  Part of the new Scorpio paradigm will be the way you view and value relationships moving forward.  Contrary to your innate nature, single Scorpios should keep it light and breezy in November.  Guard your heart and your genitals.  Group socializing is the best bet for pressure-free flirtatious fun this month.  If you do meet someone, it will be locally.  Or you may transform an existing friendship into a romantic fling.  Scorpios thirsty for a drink of matrimony should wait until the 17th to confirm whether or not this one is the oneScorpios going back and forth on whether to spawn will know for sure whether they want to change diapers after the 13th.  Knock out any last minute trips before the 7th when grounding forces combine to keep you close to home through March of 2014.


Sags, the first three weeks of the month are part of your annual hibernation period literally and metaphorically.  Feeling depleted, you would rather sleep than anything else and it’s a good thing since you are a hot foggy mess of ineffectuality.  As you look towards concluding certain matters, all you can think about is finishing with your dignity intact.  Parties feel like work this month, so just skip out on hosting and decline as many invitations as possible because you won’t be any fun anyway.  As you close one chapter, the opportunity for a new start comes with Scorpio’s November 3rd new moon.  Inventory friendships and prepare to let go of those that no longer serve you.  Some friends may find the new and improved more confident Sag threatening.  Place an uncomfortable distance between you and the unsupportive in your circle.  Scour your own mental landscape for areas of anguish and do some work to resolve your feelings before your birthday arrives.  Since you are kind of a dick this month, best to just wash your sheets and go to bed.  We’ll see you for cake and candles in a few weeks.



Technological and communication glitches plague Caps through the first week of the month.  Everything from your cell phone to your laptop could potentially go awry.  Build in some extra time for tech crisis management.  Traditionally, Caps either have to be in control of a relationship or completely detached.  Scorpio’s new moon influence on the 3rd triggers a reevaluation of your rigid and bifurcated categorizations.  Domestically Caps feel unsettled.  Is it a move?  A renovation?  A new roommate?  What will it take to pacify matters?  The answer to these questions may not be clear yet, but Caps contemplate a more satisfying home life in November.  You know you take on too much – too much responsibility for burdens that aren’t yours to bear.  Enough of that.  You can’t afford to be so generous with your energy.  Keep it for yourself.


Aquarius has been working a slow burn career strategy and all those big plans and aspirations take shape this November.  For the first week or so of the month, concentrate on organizing, clarifying, and fact-checking.  Get everything in place, so that when the energetic fog lifts you are ready to present cogent ideas.  Aquarius isn’t great at physically withstanding the impact of stress.  Regressive forces in your health sector leave you particularly vulnerable in November.  You know how to take care of yourself with proper rest, hydration, exertion, and nourishment, so no excuses.  Avoid sugar.  Cash flow continues to be an area of concern due to your lax attitude on spending.  By the time Thanksgiving rolls around, you’ll be feeling social and may even enjoy a run in with some old friends.  Enjoy a heartfelt round of reminiscing.



Pisces crave diversity and adventure in November.  This urge could manifest in a trip or just a more out-going approach to conversing with a wide range of interesting people.  Just hold out on making any travel arrangements until Mercury’s retrograde ends the 9th.  Professionally, you feel confident and enthusiastic.  The new moon in Scorpio infuses Pisces with a joojsh of energy on the 3rd.  Your impulsive nature could come in handy when making a quick decision on a big unforeseen opportunity.  Pisces remains financially precarious the first half of November.  All this other activity means love or the pursuit of love takes a secondary position in your life in November.  Fear not; your libido and powers of seduction will return when other pressing areas of your life are properly ordered.


Merging is November’s theme for Aries.  You closely examine your relationships both personal and professional.  When you think about joining forces with this person or group, do you feel a buzz of excitement or an energetic suck?  Old feelings about past relationships continue to creep into your psyche through the 9th.  Acknowledge what surfaces and try to learn the lesson these people were brought into your life to teach you.  Aries must reach a decision on unresolved flip-flopping issues on the 3rd or the universe will make the choice for you.  Aries just may get that proposal or solidify your desire to propose.  November forces you to balance your free time against your professional commitments and ultimate career goals.  Consider whether your own personal rigidity has created hurdles to your advancement.


Taurus is ravenous for a soul mate and a true partner.  As you can’t help but look back on your past loves, perhaps with a pang of nostalgia and longing, know that this emotional back peddle won’t last forever (just through the retrograde).  Use this period of reflection to examine former relationships to better understand what you now truly desire in a mate.  Don’t get confused and think you want to get back together with an ex.  Uncoupled Bulls could find love in the most mundane of places, but that doesn’t mean the spark is ordinary.  This could be a BIG LOVE.  For partnered Bulls, a major commitment or new responsibility could change everything between you – a new house, proposal, or baby perhaps?  All you want to do this November is bundle up with your sweetie and hide away from the world in your love nest and fuck.



Clean up your act Gemini, you’ve gotten sloppy!  Look down at your body.  When is the last time it broke a sweat?  See that stack of disorganized paper?  It’s calling for a file cabinet.  What about that disorganized closet?  You know you can hang things in there?  November is the time to get your shit together after a lengthy period of slack.  For you Gemini, Scorpio means support, and you’ll be looking for somebody to lean on as the new moon bears its influence on November 3rd.  Your immunity is compromised this month, so best to stay away from crowds.  If there’s a bug in the air, you will catch it.  Gemini continues to feel uprooted through the first half of the month, but those feelings will eventually subside.  Romantically, you can’t decide if you want light and easy or deep and intense.  I get that dithering is your thing Gemini, but you can’t have it both ways.  An untrustworthy friend gets in your head and clouds your judgment if you aren’t keen enough to see this person’s manipulation for its possessive roots.


Climb outta your shell Cancer, November has all the makings for lots of super fun times.  First, you catch major, well-deserved shine personally and professionally for your recent efforts.  Second, you are super fertile this November, so just keep that in mind unless you want a bun in your oven by Thanksgiving.  A clash between work and home life forces difficult choices.  Obviously, you’d love to shirk your professional responsibility and bang, bang, bang on the door of the love shack, but you are under the watchful eye of the powers that be, so disappoint your hunny this time and do work.  The second half of the month, Cancer actually gets a chance to review and process all that has happened in the proceeding months.  Now with more objectivity, you are able to craft a meaningful narrative out of the cluttered pile of experiences.  Overindulgence becomes a problem in November unless you consciously and repeatedly limit yourself.


Leo, we are all coming to your house for Thanksgiving dinner this year.  Energetically tethered to the home and hearth in November, you are ready to host a gorgeous and thoughtful feast for friends and family. Don’t overburden yourself by agreeing to host house-guests.  It won’t go well and they won’t leave, trust.  Looking at those same four walls all month has you contemplating a move or a spruce.  Leos want their homes to rise up to meet them this November.  After a positive stretch at work, Leos struggle with delegating.  As much as you would like to cast yourself as indispensable, you can’t do the job of everyone else.  Save your energy – though you will receive some gratitude for your team playing around the 17th.  Express yourself, including any lingering grief, through non-verbal creative activities like painting, playing music, or dancing.


Virgo brims with ideas and an obsessive desire to communicate them in November.  You will be all over town speaking publicly, small-talking, and chatting privately among the influential.  Always a productive go-getter, previously you’ve externalized your energy to help others.  A shift occurs and you start to apply some of that can-do attitude to yourself to craft the life you truly desire.  Romantically, Virgo is in the midst of a three year relationship upheaval.  You have already experienced this drama in the preceding 18 months.  For the relationship to survive, it must change.  If possible, stick close to home for the Thanksgiving holiday.  By month’s end, your only wish will be a mellow weekend in bed.  Boost your appeal with a wardrobe update.  Hit those holiday sales and freshen your stash.


You are buying dinner this month you rich bitch!  Good for you Libra, your Birkin is full of cash this November.  The flipside of this abundance is that it makes you vulnerable to theft.  Mind your things.  Review your statements.  Protect your identity.  The one thing you won’t be fighting over at home is money.  Everything else, however… well just don’t expect November to be all domestic bliss and pumpkin pie.  Tension builds in your central relationship as the demands of your family butt up against the wishes of your partner.  Where will you spend the holidays?  Disregard so-called familial obligation and put your partner first.  An intense period of closeness begins mid-month.  The sex will be good.  This could result in a baby.  Evaluate your long term career goals and consider how you would best like to balance your time and energy in support of your dreams for the future.