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Lauryn Hill is one of the few artists for whom my affection has never waned. I saw her in her mainstream prime in 1998. Recently, I caught up with Ms. Hill again. Her voice is as honest as ever. Sure, her rearrangements of older material display distinct signs of mania. She relies a little too heavily on the Bob Marley box set to fill out her 2.5 + hour show, but I don’t care because there’s nobody alive I would rather hear singing Bob Marley covers than Ms. Lauryn Hill. She fusses at her band, the lighting guy, and the sound tech. She’s a true artist and has the temperament to match. She makes the best stanky faces when the going gets good. Yeah, she’s late to start, but she’s also late to finish. We didn’t get out of there until 1:30 am. Ms. Lauryn Hill doesn’t come cheap, but she gives you your money’s worth. Catch her if you can because she’s blessed with rare genius.
I saw EMA this week at a local hole in the wall. This joint is so small you literally brush elbows with the talent. She invited Mas Ysa to open for her. He was neither superb nor abysmal. I would describe his set like I describe this website – as amateurish, but charming. Anyway, after he finished and during EMA‘s set he settles in next to me. We chat a little. He sporadically shouts at the stage and dances wildly with nervous over-intensity. I tried to reassure him with a few kind words about his performance. I came to see EMA, so I’m not trying to talk to the opening act during her set. That seems a bit disrespectful. The room is small, so everyone can see everyone. After loudly proclaiming his love for the headliner, he flailed around for two songs and then split for the bar. I suspect this is a metaphor for his entire existence. Sometimes, you learn everything you need to know about someone in the first two songs.
An Italian Wedding is Formaggio.
Neither of these fools are Italian, so besides their deep appreciation for pasta, what is the point of dragging everyone to Florence via Paris to wed at the Florentine equivalent of Fort Knox, the Forte di Belvedere o di San Giorgio Firenze? It’s just so cliché, basta. And the study-abroad capital Florence ain’t all that. There are far more interesting places than fucking snoozy-ass Florence.
Recent Kim Kardashian quote on racism:
To be honest, before I had North, I never really gave racism or discrimination a lot of thought. It is obviously a topic that Kanye is passionate about, but I guess it was easier for me to believe that it was someone else’s battle.
Classic Kanye West quote on racism:
George Bush doesn’t care about black people.
Once a bold and critical voice in the race relations discourse, Kanye has become his own worst hypocritical self-penned stereotype by wedding a super privileged white girl who will never understand the painful experience of surviving as a minority. In this one matrimonial gesture, Kanye can kiss his credibility in this conversation good-bye. She will never understand what it means to be black and he will always resent her for it. Sadly, North will pay the price of their relationship’s racial ambivalence.
Kardashian Bridal Fatigue
We just witnessed Kim’s marriage to Kris Humphries less than 3 years ago in a huge televised event. Then we had to endure the inevitable unraveling of their showmance. With the Vogue cover, we’ve already seen the 2014 version of the bride and groom. I’m not excited about her dress. I’m not excited about his dress. I’m not invested. We’ve walked this flower petaled aisle with you before Kim Kardashian and it always dead-ends at the alter. Now the Kourtney and Scott wedding, that I would watch.
The Dixie Cups ♥ Chapel of LoveWhite Wedding ♥ Queens of the Stone AgeBridge Over Troubled Water ♥ Aretha FranklinLet’s Get Married ♥ Al GreenWedding Song ♥ Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Happy Birthday Taurus! After a month of oppositional and tense energy, you are ready for a change both outwardly and inwardly. Whether it’s a freshening of your personal appearance or a sprucing of your home, invest in a few significant upgrades in May. Mother’s Day could be a real bitch this year. Particularly reactive on the 11th, it’s easy to slip back into childish patterns. Remember you are grown. Give a nice gift and a pleasant (albeit forced) smile. Keep your mouth shut or stuff it with pancakes. Before making any big promises socially or professionally to team up and dream up, view the entire situation through a critical side-eye. Get nakedly honest regarding the commitment the collaboration entails. Don’t allow leisure activities originally intended for fun to become burdensome and stressful. Scale back birthday plans to your nearest and dearest. Not everybody and their cousin merits an invite.
The days before your birthday are for quiet retreat, Gemini. The spotlight will soon be yours, take care of any messiness or undone chores nagging your subconscious. Gemini’s spring cleaning includes weeding your friendship flowerbed of unhealthy additions. The energy on Mother’s Day could present a number of challenges. Expect tense family dynamics if you plan to spend the day among loved ones. Play with the kiddos as an effective strategy for staying out of the fray. Concerning your health, when is the last time you had a check-up or any preventive care? Take care of yourself.
Embrace light-hearted fun in May, Cancer. Twirl around parties. Gossip and flirt. Enjoy yourself by keeping conversations easy breezy. Celebrating Mom may feel like a real chore this year, or you may not feel like you are getting credit where credit is due from your own ungrateful offspring and spouse. Tense energy in the crabshell foreshadows a change in the domestic sphere. Towards the end of the month, quiet the noise, slow down, and meet unmet obligations in preparation for your birthday.
Tap into your blonde ambition Leo, May is the month to make shit happen in your personal industry sector. Light a match under your ass at work and go for it. If you can’t see yourself moving onward and upward at your current grind, then put your energy into finding a more rewarding career. Either way, your efforts will be rewarded. May showers manifest as tears on Mother’s Day this year. The tense energy makes for uncomfortable family gatherings. If you know you can’t control your reactionary temper in the familial context, then limit your dealings to the minimum you can politely manage.
Virgo embraces adventure in May. The daring could take many forms from the obvious – last minute travel – to the less obvious – a meditative journey inward. Whatever trip you take, there’s a lesson in it for you. Mother’s Day might be a mutherfucker for reasons beyond your control. What is within your control is your reaction to unprovoked attacks. Take a few deep breaths, imbibe a cocktail, and focus on what you love about your family. With regard to your central relationship, you gotta decide if you are all in or all out because nobody can keep track of your pendulum swinging heart.
Libra craves intimacy and meaningful connection in May. Spend time with your sweetie cuddled up at home. The oppositional energy of the Grand Cross carries into May. Libra certainly felt the harsh angles of this unusual stellar arrangement. Why not take a self-imposed recovery period? It’s a nice way of sparing us your moody discontentment. Usually the family diplomat, this Mother’s Day your peace-making talents take temporary leave. Mid-month, enjoy a burst of full moon Scorpio energy that stimulates career success.
Scorpio loves powerful partnership, and the desire to collaborate works up a hunger to define your latest relationship. Total devotion forms the foundation of your dream union. Most beings are not capable of that level of intensity or the totality of sacrifice required for mating with you. Don’t belabor unsatisfying affiliations. Honor your Ma on Mother’s Day whether near, far, or departed. Extra-raw on the 11th, Scorpio’s got tail up, stinger poised. Retract your weaponry Scorpio, today isn’t the day for offensive maneuvering. We’re all suffering under the same strain, so send up a puff of compassion instead of attacking the weak and vulnerable.
Sagittarius is ready for some late spring cleaning in May. First, file your paperwork and thin the stacks of clutter. Next, pull out some pots and plant yourself a little windowsill garden. The plants will nourish you in unforeseen ways in the coming months. They will also clean the air and pump your home full of fresh oxygen. Ferocious family dynamics have the potential to ruin Mother’s Day. Unable to hold your tongue under this irrational influence, Sags could be major contributors to the chaos. Even though at times it feels as though you’ve outgrown your friends, your own self-limiting beliefs are the source of most of your misdirected judgment and criticism.
Capricorn gets especially expressive in May after feeling downright repressed in April. For the most part, this chatty streak works to your benefit. Mother’s Day is the major exception. Thoughtless comments and misconstrued humor could spark intense overreactions. Bring a nice gift and stuff your face with food. Lay in the cut and don’t be a dick. It isn’t up to you to fix your family. Instead of wasting energy on unsolicited advice for your clan, apply that care-taking energy to yourself. Spend the last week of May organizing your life. Tidy your home. Eat better. Refresh the wardrobe.
After an incredibly intense April, Aquarius requires a respite! All the drama, stress, and conflict depleted your resources and patience. Of all the signs, you are poised to deliver the best Mother’s Day as either the recipient or giver. However you chose to celebrate motherhood, keep it low key and pampering. Now is not the time to plan the world’s most elaborate brunch. Even French toast can’t compete with selfish tantrum throwers – who are bound to make an appearance on the 11th. Mid-month, an energetic boost in your career helps you decide if you should stay or go.
Your noggin is stormy with ideas in May, Pisces. The notions come quickly and without much elaboration, so keep a notebook handy to jot down thoughts as they strike lightening fast. A cloud hovers over Mother’s Day. Pisces acts out with unpredictable moodiness. If you are struggling to maintain your composure in your toxic familial soup, think of them as strangers and just be polite. You wouldn’t overtly roll your eyes at a stranger across the lunch table, so don’t do it to your sister at family gatherings. Towards the end of the month, Pisces feels especially emotionally vulnerable. Spend this time alone or with a few trusted pals – no needy whiners!
With May comes a healthy dose of reality, Aries. Start with an assessment of your finances. Look at your accounts and compare the credit to debit columns. If you’re running a deficit, you must reverse the flow from outgoing to incoming. In order to do so, you will have to sacrifice some of your material desires. Put quality thought and effort into honoring your mother this Mother’s Day. Defy your selfish reputation by seizing this wonderful opportunity to display your thoughtfulness and love. Aries’ sexual relationship gets a surge of intensity from the scorpion mid-month. Everything you’ve been holding back will come spilling out in a gush of brutal honesty.