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Went out for Trentemøller and it was like stepping into a total 1980’s New Wave Joy-Division-Depeche-Mode moment, a moment I was grateful to experience since I was barely old enough to remember the first time around. Anders is touring with a band which I didn’t necessarily expect, but sure appreciated for the dimension it added to show. The performance wasn’t pitch-perfect-polished, but it did organically build to ultimately bond the small (but devoted and mostly gay) audience.
Jessica Simpson wore custom Carolina Herrera. It’s such a princess-y Jessica Simpson dress. It is exactly what you’d expect her to wear. I do like the candlelight color, the snatched waist, and the how the beading catches the light. I don’t love the pattern of the beading on the skirt and the way it creates a weighty bedspread feeling to the bottom of the dress. Also in Carolina Herrera, I feel like Olivia Palermo is trying to be the hipster chick that wears Chuck Taylors to prom. Like she’s above the fuss of an actual wedding dress. She can only bother with a skirt and sweater (in the summer). I offer you begrudging props for originality paired with an eyeroll, Palermo. She looks way baked in this picture, no? Kandi fucking Burruss. Did you watch that hot fucking mess of a televised shitshow? Coming to America, for real girl? Today is just about dresses and this one makes me recall that line from Steel Magnolias, “Looks like two pigs fightin’ under a blanket.” What do you expect from a designer who delivers your dress in a bedsheet?I threw Taylor Armstrong in here for a little Real Housewives compare and contrast. She’s wearing Chagoury Couture. The dress is dated; it’s giving me a very 1997 prom sensation. Poor Naya Rivera, attempting to bride her post-Big Sean pain away in Monique Lhuillier. This dress is totally inappropriate for a Cabo wedding. Could you imagine wearing all that lace and long sleeves in Mexico in the summer? Kaley Cuoco opted for carnation pink Vera Wang. I’m all for non-white, but this gown isn’t really that special. The color borders on cloying. Carmen Marc Valvo made Katie Couric’s dress for her ceremony in the Hamptons. I know she’s nearing 60, but that has nothing to do with the bad cut, fabric, and color of this frock. She could have looked a whole lot cuter, and it’s a damn shame she wore this disservice of a dress on such a blessed occasion. I actually like elements of Kim’s Givenchy dress, just not the part that looks like she’s wearing North’s bib. The back is beautiful, especially with the totally impractical exaggerated veil. For sure, that skinny white belt will be ripped off and all over the bridal runways next season – you heard it here first.
Sweet Jane ↔ Cowboy Junkies
My Silver Lining ↔ First Aid Kit
Pilgrim ↔ MØ
We Used to Be Friends ↔ The Dandy Warhols
Hey Miami ↔ Sylvan Esso
Dark Parts ↔ Perfume Genius
I’m Your Man ↔ Leonard Cohen
Lauryn Hill is one of the few artists for whom my affection has never waned. I saw her in her mainstream prime in 1998. Recently, I caught up with Ms. Hill again. Her voice is as honest as ever. Sure, her rearrangements of older material display distinct signs of mania. She relies a little too heavily on the Bob Marley box set to fill out her 2.5 + hour show, but I don’t care because there’s nobody alive I would rather hear singing Bob Marley covers than Ms. Lauryn Hill. She fusses at her band, the lighting guy, and the sound tech. She’s a true artist and has the temperament to match. She makes the best stanky faces when the going gets good. Yeah, she’s late to start, but she’s also late to finish. We didn’t get out of there until 1:30 am. Ms. Lauryn Hill doesn’t come cheap, but she gives you your money’s worth. Catch her if you can because she’s blessed with rare genius.
I saw EMA this week at a local hole in the wall. This joint is so small you literally brush elbows with the talent. She invited Mas Ysa to open for her. He was neither superb nor abysmal. I would describe his set like I describe this website – as amateurish, but charming. Anyway, after he finished and during EMA‘s set he settles in next to me. We chat a little. He sporadically shouts at the stage and dances wildly with nervous over-intensity. I tried to reassure him with a few kind words about his performance. I came to see EMA, so I’m not trying to talk to the opening act during her set. That seems a bit disrespectful. The room is small, so everyone can see everyone. After loudly proclaiming his love for the headliner, he flailed around for two songs and then split for the bar. I suspect this is a metaphor for his entire existence. Sometimes, you learn everything you need to know about someone in the first two songs.
An Italian Wedding is Formaggio.
Neither of these fools are Italian, so besides their deep appreciation for pasta, what is the point of dragging everyone to Florence via Paris to wed at the Florentine equivalent of Fort Knox, the Forte di Belvedere o di San Giorgio Firenze? It’s just so cliché, basta. And the study-abroad capital Florence ain’t all that. There are far more interesting places than fucking snoozy-ass Florence.
Recent Kim Kardashian quote on racism:
To be honest, before I had North, I never really gave racism or discrimination a lot of thought. It is obviously a topic that Kanye is passionate about, but I guess it was easier for me to believe that it was someone else’s battle.
Classic Kanye West quote on racism:
George Bush doesn’t care about black people.
Once a bold and critical voice in the race relations discourse, Kanye has become his own worst hypocritical self-penned stereotype by wedding a super privileged white girl who will never understand the painful experience of surviving as a minority. In this one matrimonial gesture, Kanye can kiss his credibility in this conversation good-bye. She will never understand what it means to be black and he will always resent her for it. Sadly, North will pay the price of their relationship’s racial ambivalence.
Kardashian Bridal Fatigue
We just witnessed Kim’s marriage to Kris Humphries less than 3 years ago in a huge televised event. Then we had to endure the inevitable unraveling of their showmance. With the Vogue cover, we’ve already seen the 2014 version of the bride and groom. I’m not excited about her dress. I’m not excited about his dress. I’m not invested. We’ve walked this flower petaled aisle with you before Kim Kardashian and it always dead-ends at the alter. Now the Kourtney and Scott wedding, that I would watch.