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I’m munching Justin’s Organic Peanut Butter Cups.I’m bouncing to Collard Greens.
I’m binge watching old Bravo programming (Flipping Out season 2 = fenomenal) on the Esquire Network.
I’m horrified by the Perfect Bacon Bowl?!
Sail • AWOLNATION • DJ Slink’s remix + Dubstep remixDance Hall Days • Wang ChungAll Falls Down • Kanye WestRoyals • Lorde (I fruitlessly tried to resist, but I’m not made of stone people.)Ravenous • Nicki Bluhm & The Gramblers
Pendulum • Pearl Jam
I feel strongly about marriage proposals which is probably why I haven’t been on the receiving end of one. I believe in speaking to the parents first (credit to Kanye). Give them an opportunity to object if they find the match unsuitable. Proposals should be well-reasoned and planned (points for the orchestra). Engagements should not happen as a reaction to a fight, a pregnancy test, or a health scare. Take a knee. Present a picture of an enticing life together. Make promises you intend to keep. Make eye contact and be sincere.Know what isn’t included in the simple list above, Kanye? A fucking Jumbotron. No woman really wants to be proposed to by a giant machine. It is so insincere and impersonal. For someone who is willing to smack a photographer to protect his privacy, a stadium-size proposal isn’t exactly discreet. But you know what really chaps my ass about the Kanye-Kim proposal? He stacked it on the top of a birthday. There is nothing lazier than using the excitement of another event to prop up a lame and ill-thought out bid to wed. No piggybacking on Christmas; hiding the ring under the tree with the socks and sweaters isn’t sufficiently special. Proposers really shouldn’t hitch their request to the champagne-high of New Year’s. An inquiry of this magnitude deserves its own day, its own care, and its own attention. Yes, he threw some money at it, but ultimately: Lazy proposal = Lazy-ass husband.
Maybe I just have a weakness for Titian songstresses: Florence Welch, Tori Amos, Bonnie Raitt, Bette Midler, but I thought Neko Case was the cat’s pajamas when she blew through town the other night. Even though she felt shitty complaining of a cold, she filled up the whole room with her velvety bourbon-flavored sound. Neko’s total transparency makes for such an appealing live experience. Without any trepidation she launches courageously into acapella. The sound is as clear, piercing, warm and authentic as possible. Nothing blocks the transmission of energy between Neko and her audience. When she speaks to her devoted fans, it’s like she’s sitting at the next bar stool. She banters with her band with what seems like sincere and jovial camaraderie. The dynamic feels intimate, as if you are backstage after the show. Maybe that explains why people shouted requests from all over the theater? I have never heard so much aggressive requesting at any show I have ever attended ever. It’s not a piano bar people. (And enough with the Freebird. Tiredest joke ever.)Lately, I’ve been really fed up with the rude-ass behavior of my fellow attendees (ehhhhem MGMT douches), but at Neko’s show my boldly printed vintage jumpsuit was enthusiastically appreciated by at least three separate sets of fawning complimenters, (not even including the cute pedicab driver on the street afterwards). This is not intended as a humble-brag, I’m just highlighting that in Neko’s tribe the women support wild jumpsuit wearing. Neko Case is on tour now. Please go see her. She is sublime. Afterwards you’ll wish she was your best friend.
Borderline ¤ The Flaming Lips
The One That Got Away ¤ The Civil Wars
All Over Now ¤ Washed Out
This is the Last Time ¤ The National
PinkWiz KhalifaAimee MannNeko CaseKimberly PeircePatsy Cline
The guy who leads his girlfriend around by the ass.
The woman who over-enthusiastically dances to the band’s two hit songs and then texts, talks loudly, and gets sloppy-ass drunk for the remainder of the show.
The interpretative dancer who gesticulates in accord with the lyrics.
The slutty underage Forever 21-clad girls who skank around the drink line begging guys to buy them beer.
Happy Birthday Virgo! All frothy over a new project, the workhorse in you can’t wait to gallop ahead. Rein in your enthusiastic stallion Virgo, there are a few pesky details you can’t just swat away. Without proper planning, organization, and forethought, your big idea could get majorly deflated by embarrassing messiness. Confusion plagues relationships this month, so now isn’t the time to commit. Mistakes and miscommunication muddy an already tense situation. A planetary shift around the 20th should bring clarity on a big decision, relationship, or domestic matter. Usually so thrifty, this autumn invest in a few well-made pieces that make you feel so unbelievably amazing and lux that it justifies the pricetag.
Now is the time for intuitive daydreaming, preparation, and planning. Think broadly and freely about what you want and where you want to go. Others may try to inject their opinions into what is best, but sweep all that chatter up into a dustpan and pitch it. Let the guidance come from within. Professionally, now is the time to listen – to advice and even gossip. It will come in handy when those rumors of professional opportunity and advancement crystallize into reality. Inject colorful accessories into your stable of reliable wardrobe classics to reinvent yourself without spending a fortune.
September finally frees Scorpios from an annoying retrograde that’s been creating lag since April. Get out and make new friends, contacts, and professional connections. With Mars at your back you’ll have all the energetic momentum to make things happen. September is a wonderful time to fall in love. Enjoy a courtship. Attached Scorpios arrange the groundwork for a lasting lifelong commitment this September. Insecure Scorpios fetter their obvious sex appeal for the comfort of others. Insecurity isn’t hot for fall. You heard it here first. Bust out the wine-red lip and let the cards fall where they may. Own the undeniable power of your own beauty and sexuality.
You’ve been dodging some sinister relationship undercurrents that have been eating away at the foundation of your relationship one drip at a time like a leaky pipe. Well this September, the proverbial floor is about to fall out, and you will be ill-prepared to receive the bitchslap of bad news coming your way vis-a-vis your frustrated partner. If it’s over, it’s over. Optimistically speaking, a fun little rendezvous weekend getaway midmonth could be really cute. Working Sags see a career flutter the first week of the month. More money and a better title are not off the table. Sags tend to choose the same silhouette and then attempt to trick the eye by introducing variations in color and pattern. It isn’t a bad fashion strategy overall, but you can do better. Consider whether your own rather fixed misconceptions about your body cause you to pick the same outfit over and over.
September evokes back-to-school nostalgia that gets Caps thirsty for knowledge and learning. It may mean a trip geared towards exploration and discovery or it may take any number of shapes. The aim is to broaden, widen, and deepen your understanding of yourself and others. Financial demands continue through the end of September and into next month, so relax the extracurricular spending. Two words to describe your closet: 1) utilitarian and 2) pragmatic. There’s something to be said for military chic, but does everything have to have a cargo pocket? Buy a raspberry beret or something similarly flashy you would never wear and then wear the fuck out of it.
The first third of the month is a fantastic time for a getaway where there is a legitimate possibility for romance. That financial divot you’ve been experiencing finally turns around and a number of buoying opportunities come your way which serves as a huge relief. If Aquarius is in need of financing, September is the time. Aquarius experiences energetic inertia this month. If you don’t get the outcome you want, listen to the advice and guidance of others, and withhold judgment. Your ability to see the big picture means you usually get it right when it comes to proportion and head-to-toe first impression. Collect a few whimsical accessories to make the impression a lasting one.
Love. Love. Love Pisces. September is the month for romance, swooning, and uniting together in a common coalition. Whether single or attached, the planets are prepared to bestow you with blessings if you are ready to receive. Look to the 7th and the 26th as optimal date days. Come the 19th it’s all about Pisces as the stars align to shine all over you. The professional pace will pick up as the month rolls on. Your creative ideas are appreciated, but you must manage the day-to-day details with the same interest. Turn that creativity towards solving problems, no matter how mundane. Rolling with a new upgraded look has you feeling ultra-confident. When you dress better, you feel better, and this new-found swagger only adds to your allure.
The first week of September ushers in a new professional project that levies demands on you all month long. Productivity won’t be a problem and a gush of energy comes into to carry you along. That fire you are known for stokes all kinds of interesting interactions with people throughout the month. Keep an easy-going attitude that leaves you open to last minute opportunities. Aries’ inherent elegance means you usually look really well put-together, and your willingness to take risks means you turn heads. Occasionally, your enthusiasm crosses over into costume, so know when to throttle back the flair.
Summer has never really been your favorite time of year. Bulls prefer the order and crispness of fall. A number of social invitations come your way and you have trouble saying no, and why should you? The interludes you enjoy this month will be some of the most delicious ever. Even though it all feels so sweet, Taurus learns quickly that some responsibilities can’t be shirked. Best to stay ahead of assignments and obligations, which shouldn’t too difficult for you since you aren’t particularly prone to procrastination. Stay off those final sale liquidation websites. Not only are you potentially stuck with clothes that don’t fit, you aren’t getting the bargain you think you are. Quality over quantity.
Gemini deserves a week off if that is what you need to really close out the summer with a bang. All summer long, the house has been a mess. Time to make it more cozy and inviting as you return back inside. Find practical solutions that last, rather than short-term patches that only serve to temporarily fix the problem. The first full week of the month is the most favorable for romance, even if you can’t get away for a full week try to enjoy this weekend work-free. Direct some of that energy into fun and love. Geminis tend to morph into whomever they are around. Look to your right. Look to your left. Are you the shit filling in a shit sandwich?
Financially things could be tight this month due to obligation and extracurricular spending that meets up in a way that drains your resources. Sooner or later you’ll need to take control of your finances and the sooner the better. Schedule a date on September 26th when your love light shines brightest. It may sound crazy to tell you to get away if you can on a little trip this September, but be forewarned that serious domestic demands will prohibit much travel over the next several months. When you shop, you do so in sprees. You can just buy one and that can be enough.
September surges energy into your career sector Leo. Thankfully, all that summer toil counts for something because others have noticed your commitment and you have impressed the right people. Now you are in the power position to ask for what you want with regard to salary. This should significantly lessen your fiscal worries. Keep a casual attitude in meeting people this month, but always keep one eye on the prize. You never know who you might encounter. Leo is never one to shy away from flashy wardrobe moments, just remember flashy is just two little consonants away from trashy ya’ll.