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in case you missed it…
Saturday, November 26th, 2011
Most of you have heard about the struggles Bethenny Frankel has experienced while attempting to develop, market, and sell her version of a daily network talk show. Reports surfaced that decision-makers didn’t think she wasn’t likable enough. Then there were those pesky allegations concerning false labeling on Skinnygirl Margarita, which further chipped away at her crumbling credibility. And it wasn’t so long ago confusion swirled around the value of the Skinnygirl sale. The cumulative effect? Page Six reports that any hope for a syndicated deal is as dead as a Thanksgiving turkey.
You guys watching Revenge? Can’t really say it’s good, but blank-eyed Amber Valletta and an Herve Leger-clad Madeleine Stowe have kept it mildly interesting. How much has this fall sucked in terms of tv? So much. In any other year at any other time, Revenge wouldn’t even be worth mentioning.
We are neither surprised by nor interested in the break up of Ashton and Demi’s marriage. Nobody seriously thought that shit would last, so the media can just relax with all their pearl clutching. We all know the grounds for divorce. Under the reason for dissolution, next to Ashton’s name, check the “douche” box; next to Demi’s, check “desperately clinging to youth.”
A sneak peek of the latest season of Tori & Dean
Saturday, November 19th, 2011
Surely you’ve seen this? For those of you who missed it, Dean posted this photo on twitter and then quickly removed it. I’m sure Tori was mortified with that nursing nipple pepperoni situation. Whatever it takes to drum up excitement for that new season of Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood though, right? Also, is that a whitehead on Liam’s chin? Why do I find that more offensive than the mom titties? New episodes and DC commentary (for you Michael York) the 29th and thereafter.
Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: shoot the messenger
Friday, November 18th, 2011
There is a scene in Unzipped where one of Mizrahi’s minions tentatively approaches him with the latest issue of WWD featuring Gaultier’s collection based on a similar Nanook of the North theme. Isaac reacts to the catastrophe by venting his frustration on the meek messenger. “Don’t show these things to me I’ve not been looking at it. Just don’t show it to me. You showed it to me. It’s like you took some evil pleasure in it.”
Mizrahi articulated with flare what most of us scream inside when someone takes the liberty of farting on our day by passing along a hateful criticism traded behind our back. Best to never repeat something that will hurt someone’s feelings. The person on the receiving end won’t forget the sting of the news or where it originated. As a general rule, don’t ever start a sentence with, “Girl you know what she said about you?”
On the flipside, don’t talk shit unless you are prepared to say it to the person’s face because TRUST no one will listen to the advice above. At the first opportunity, the tattler will tattle with delight. 
Kim’s Fairytale Pre-Divorce Party
Monday, October 10th, 2011
Look, I know we’ve all suffered severe Kardashian fatigue, but I can’t deny watching the first and second parts of the Kim Kardashian wedding miniseries (like the rest of you bitches). I think we can all agree the major takeaway is that Humphries is an insufferable asshole. Please enjoy five reasons why Kris Humphries will be the second, but not last husband of the poorman’s Elizabeth Taylor, Kim Kardashian.
1) The Dogs. The moment K+K began bickering over the dogs, it was obvious they were incompatible. A neat freak will never be comfortable with animals crawling amid the duvet and contaminating the bed. Furthermore, arriving with dogs without asking first was a totally self-important dick move on Humphries‘ part. 
2) He’s late. Setting aside the absurdity of a modern couple registering at Geary’s, when a groom is scheduled to appear on wedding related-business, he best show up on time. Kommandant Kris Jenner calls all the shots in this family; a bad impression with her and end up with a million dollar cap on the pre-nup. 
3) He talks too much. This oversized oaf fucking talks too much, no? He’s yapping at Khloe, poking the bear. He talks shit behind Kim’s back. He constantly blurts dumbass comments and causes offense. He’s confused if he thinks he’s the star of the show, honey. Know your place Hump; you get paid to toss balls, not provide narrative. At the time of filming he didn’t even have a ball-tossing job; does he now? 
4) He’s controlling. Raise the red flag when the groom cares so much about the color scheme he’s Skyping the wedding planner. A recent run-in with an über controlling groom was very unattractive. Not to sound old timey, but go smoke a cigar and let the womenfolk fuss over arrangements. 
5) He’s arrogant. Humphries emits the stank of undeserved superiority. Nobody knew who his ass was before Kim, and no one cares now. He needs to stop acting irreplaceable. And why did he race outta the room when Khloe pressed him on his STD history?
We totally hate him, right? If for no other reason than because he makes me sympathize with these vapid Kardashian Kuntz. How long are second marriages running these days? 9 months? I got $5 on 9 months in our theoretical office pool.