Category Archives: SUPPORT

straw into gold

GONE GIRLI spent nearly a decade in an unfulfilling relationship I knew two weeks in had no real meaningful future.  I can give you justifications and excuses for not leaving – my parents died; I got laid off; I enjoyed the financial security of the union.  That’s all just weak bullshit though.  My therapist likes to say that the universe doesn’t belabor situations, we do.  He’s right.  GOODBYE CHALKRecently, I’ve been kicking it with an extremely attractive man.  He possesses exceptional qualities.  He showed me upfront that he’s a man of principle.  Unfortunately, we are both too damaged to ever make it work.  A decade ago, I would have clung to our magic for dear life, hoping to stoke the flames of compatibility and extinguish the discord.  Now, I know better.  Even though it was hard to let such a pretty thing go, I said goodbye.  I should have said goodbye a month ago when I knew for sure that we couldn’t truly partner, so I guess I still have something to learn with regard to belaboring situations.  That said, progress is progress, and I am proud that instead of squandering a decade, I cut my losses after two months before deeply entangling my heart. AARONI’m just not going to do it, try so hard to make it work.  Rumpelstiltskin was always one of my favorite children’s stories, but I would rather go solo than waste anymore time spinning straw into gold.  STRAW TO GOLD

clarisonshit

PEDISONICFuck Clarisonic.  Seriously, I’m so pissed.  I bought that stupid Pedi Sonic device for $200 and the motor died in less than three months.  Janky ass piece of crap.  I’m over ClarisonicClarisonic can eat a dick as far as I’m concerned.CLARISONIC PEDI BRUSH

Not all negative Nancy, I will take this moment to praise Ulta Beauty, a company not exactly world-renowned for their customer service.  When I rolled in with my receipt and the pricey device, I didn’t know how they would try and play me.  At first, there was talk of store credit.  I kept quiet and after some manager headset chatter, I walked away with a full refund.  I didn’t even have to ask.  They knew.  Deep down they knew that Clarisonic did me dirty.  Thanks for making it right without giving me a bushel of grief Ulta.

KENDALL JENNER ULTA

I don’t care if you’re in town

LUCILLE DOESN'T CAREAn ex-boyfriend from 18 years ago called my work twice yesterday looking for me.  He insisted on leaving his number with my assistants because he’s in my town for the weekend.  I haven’t talked to this kid in at least 10 years, and we didn’t part well.  I’m not sure what makes him think I want to see him.  He is very accessible on the internet, so if I wanted access to him I could have had it years ago.  I, on the other hand, go out of my way to keep a low profile.  I don’t have a Facebook page.  I clearly don’t want to be found.  I have no interest in catching up with random people who orbit my life with the infrequency of Halley’s Comet.  Furthermore, his approach to the situation tells me that his worst qualities have only ripened with age.  He’s obviously known for quite some time that he would be in town covering a particular event.  A courteous and thoughtful person would have sent an email with a little advance notice.  Instead, he called my place of employment multiple times in one day like some sort of crazed stalker and just assumed I’ll be elated to drop my packed schedule to accommodate his last minute demands.  Selfish much?  That’s why we broke up asshole.  Unfortunately, I’m going to the event on Saturday so there’s a chance we could run into each other….Ugh…I hate ex-boyfriend run-in paranoia.DON'T CALL ME

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: worry-making

CATHY COMICI know this woman as a friendly acquaintance.  I’ve posted about her before awhile ago.  She’s like a human Cathy Comic.  I liked her though.  I think she’s smart, funny, well-meaning, and enjoyable in small doses.   I’ve extended a number of invitations to her over the last year.  Several months ago, she just stopped responding.  I’m the last holdout on the fucking Facebook, but other friends tried to contact her though her page.  She never responded, despite her FB page showing recent updated activity.  She’s a single woman living alone on my side of town.  Therefore, it’s partially my responsibility to make sure she didn’t die alone, and her cat wasn’t gnawing off her three-day-dead face.  After multiple attempted contacts from a number of sources, finally a co-worker confirmed that Cathy Comic is fine.  No illness.  No tragedy.  Just chronic unresponsiveness.  Well fuck you human Cathy Comic.  Do you know how rude it is to make people worry?  Cathy Comic must be so flush with friends that she doesn’t need any more thoughtful people to care about her.  Well it’s a good thing because I won’t be wasting a moment more of my concern.  I’m recycling that friendship like yesterday’s newspaper.  And don’t come calling when he dumps you.  I don’t want to hear it.  CATHY COMIC BEDIf you are late, call.  If people express concern, respond.  Remember that pit of anxiety that forms when you are worried about someone you love.  Don’t ever recklessly give another that feeling due to your own thoughtlessness and irresponsibility.  It’s fucking rude, and it makes you unworthy of the concern.BYE CATHY

 

a big heartfelt hug

HUGSMy friend had the worst day of her life today.  She suffered a life-altering loss.  I’m not there to hug her.  We live 1400 miles apart.  I have to hug her here.  She’s a loyal reader.  Send a little love to our girl today.  She needs it.  I available to you, call me anytime.  Anything you need.  I love you and I understand.  FRIEND HUG

 

Cookie Butter fueled

TJ SPECULOOS COOKIE BUTTERSHope you had a great weekend lovelies.  3 shows in 3 days + massive weekend work demands = one exhausted little dove.  I’m fueled by bananas and Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie Butter - a truly crackish combo.  I’m awfully thrilled to welcome best pal KB back to town along with her partner.  She’s a super smart lady and an exceptional friend.  I look forward to all the trouble we can get into now they we’re geographically proximate.ROMY AND MICHELEI’ve only tinted my eyelashes once seven years ago, but I’m going to try again this Friday.  Loyal readers understand my personal beauty holy grail involves continually dark lashes without pesky under-eye mascara smudges.

EYELASH TINT

My recent banking fiasco motivated a change in financial institutions.  When the new credit union ran my credit the astonished banker said it was refreshing to see such a high credit score.  To celebrate my fiscal responsibility I went shopping.  In a moment of magical, mystical, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants shit, I found not one, but new three pairs of jeans.  Not only did I find an unlikely triad of sexual jeans (Rag & Bone, Current/Elliott, Vigoss), but they were buy 1 get 2 free.  Grateful to the Denim Gods.KHLOE RAG & BONE

Mung bean sprouts remedy constipation.  Moving along…

MUNG BEAN SPROUTS

 

thank you for being a friend

BLONDE REDOne of my nearest and dearest sets off for a new job, a new locale, and a whole new life today.  I’m super proud of her.  She’s worked hard and deserves success.  Even though we’re no longer geographically close, I’m not worried about our friendship diminishing with distance.  We’ve been supertight friends for a decade, so whether we’re apart 2 days, 2 months, or 2 years it’s like no time has passed.  Treasure your friends, and hang on regardless of where life takes you.  When the men have gone and the children are grown, it’s just going to be you, me, Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia out on the lanai. 

Saturday at the Farmer’s Market

FARMER'S MARKET MONTEREYEGGPLANT FMFARMER'S MARKET TATERSFARMER'S MARKET VEDGEFM FRUIT AND VEGFM VEG SPREADLIL GIRL FMLOS GATOS FM

lOVE/hATE

BRING IT! TOE TOUCHLove ♥ Bring It!  The Lifetime show features a Mississippi dance team called the Dancing Dolls (and their belligerent parents) getting buck in weekly stand battles. DD4L!BRING IT! HEEL TOUCHHate ≈ Bitter, hateful texts from my Ex.  Really?  It’s been over a year, so I was hoping we were well past the intentionally mean break-up phase.MEANLove ♥ Kirkland Sparkling Flavored Water.  In my quest for a zero calorie natural Diet Coke replacement, I stumbled upon this awesome beverage.  This stuff is magical.  I don’t understand how it’s calorie free, artificial sweetener-free, and still bursts with flavor.  Not only that, it’s fortified with Vitamin D, Niacin, B6, B12, Biotin, Pantothenic Acid, and Green Tea Extract.  I’m suspicious because it is seemingly so guilt-free.  By the way, I haven’t had a single Diet Coke since I quit.  Not one.KIRKLAND SPARKLING FLAVORED WATERHate ≈ My Dumbass Bank.  I spent the week untangling a mess at my financial institution because they are too stupid to understand onion routing, and I was too dumb to know not to use to Tor for online banking.  Let this annoying hassle be a cautionary tale.  Bitcoin is the only currency your Tor should ever see. ONION HEADS