Category Archives: SUPPORT

Happy Sheep Year


Welcome to the calmer, softer, prosperous Sheep year.  Sheep are mellow animals that prefer to navigate the world in a group working together for protection.  A soft, wooly serenity engulfs us for the next twelve months.  Some of us will enjoy the togetherness while others will find it stifling.  The hard-working character of the horse dominated 2014, but this year is not about ardor, money, wealth, or ascension.  A fixation on such materialism is considered a crass distraction in a time when providing essential needs for all is much more in fashion.  Sheep prefer peace, tranquility, and routine.  When conflict does arise it will take on a passive aggressive flavor.  The sheep encourages quick conciliation so as not to disturb the overall well-being of the herd.

BABY SHEEPWishing you a prosperous and happy Sheep Year!

On apologizing when you aren’t sorry

RETROGRADEThose of you who read your horoscopes this month know Mercury just went out of retrograde yesterday.  Well, before that pesky planet could come correct, I stepped in it with a number of important authority figures in my life.  Ugh.  CARRIE STEPPED IN ITWhile in hindsight, I could have handled the situations with more grace, there is kernel of righteousness to my actions in both scenarios.  Since my actions are guided by the best intentions, I find it most difficult to choke out an apology just because the end result wasn’t ideal.  FORCED APOLOGYEven though I’ve designed my life to involve the least amount of shit eating possible, sometimes, we all have to eat it to smooth things over when the power dynamic is unequal.  EAT YO PIETake responsibility for your short-coming in the situation.  In one of the aforementioned instances, someone took offense to my directness, so I asked forgiveness for my “impertinent tone.”  I won’t apologize for the content of the sentiment because it was right on.  The dickhead interrupted my class talking loudly with a total lack of courtesy, mindfulness, and respect.  I turned to him and said, “Can this wait?  It’s really distracting.”  He didn’t like me calling him out on his bad behavior in front of the class.  Now because his ego is wounded over his rudeness, I have to apologize because he didn’t like the sound of the honest truth?  I’m happy to take responsibility for my delivery, but I won’t take on the responsibility for his bad behavior.  APOLOGIZING EGOWithout excusing or abdicating your part in the conflict, narrowly tailor your apology to include only the conduct for which you are truly sorry.  There’s no need to give away all your power especially when the other party shares in a good portion of the blame.  That said, if you really blew it, own your fuck-up completely.  There’s nothing grosser than a weasel trying to wriggle out of responsibility.WEASEL

Monday Morning Management Meeting: Missing Link

LINKEDIN DALIEnough with the fucking LinkedIn.  I must get a dozen LinkedIn invitations a month.  I barely know most of the people who send them, and we have no professional affiliation.  Even if we did, I wouldn’t respond to their invitations anyway.  First of all, LinkedIn was hacked, doesn’t anyone remember that?  Secondly, LinkedIn continues to get sued for a number of shady tactics and privacy violations, including for (allegedly) sending out emails to users contacts without permission and allowing paid subscribers to search for references of other members without consent.  The site imports contacts and sends those annoying “connect on LinkedIn” emails to everyone you ever knew, including your exes.  You know how many LinkedIn invitations I’ve gotten from long lost exes?  Does he really want to reconnect or did LinkedIn just hijack his contacts?  See why this site is rife with conflict?  I won’t participate.  Let me ask all you LinkedIn enthusiasts: has it done shit for your career?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.  Instead of thinning out your impact with such an impersonal approach, apply focused energy to building relationships with a few key people who can really help get you where you want to go. LINKEDIN SUPPORT GROUP

Gone Today

SNOWTRACKSSomeone I really loved and respected died tragically and unexpectedly yesterday.  He was a great man.  He treated others most kindly.  He will be sorely missed by many.  May his wife and daughter find solace in the wake of this life-changing loss.  Just when the mundane details of life lull me into a false sense of security, the universe comes along with a kick to the balls to remind us all just how precariously we hang in the balance of fate.  Love fiercely without restraint.  Forgive easily.  Life is short, and then in an instant you are gone. GONE

Girls Love Horses

REBEL TESTLike most girls, I love horses.  I had a horse when I was a girl.  Yes, I actually got the pony, eyeroll.  I drifted away from riding horses around 14, but as a grown woman I take every opportunity to ride that I can.  Through a thoughtful and generous friend, I was invited to ride this weekend.  A woman just moved out this way with her horses and was up for hosting a little group trot.HORSE MAGIC

Because horses are dangerous, usually equine owners are understandably cautious.  I expected very little excitement or free rein (if you will) during the evening, and was frankly just happy for the opportunity to ride.  One horse needed to rest, so we all took turns riding the mare, Peanut.  First, very nice owner mounted and completed a few laps on Peanut in the hopes of tuckering her out for the novice riders.  Perhaps not exercised as frequently since the recent move, Peanut was all full of piss and vinegar, itching to run, buck, and act wildly.BUCK WILD

Finally, it was my turn to ride Peanut.  I turned to owner and I said “Look, I know horses are dangerous. I really appreciate you letting me ride.  I won’t do anything crazy.  I will ask permission before I change gaits.”  So I hop on, and Peanut understandably runs me through all the standard horsey antics to see what she can get away with, which is nothing.  After I got the feel of her, I ask owner if I may trot.  She said “yeah, go ahead.”  Seriously she was the chillest horse mom ever.  After a few circles and half-halting obedience conversations with Peanut, I asked her for an easy canter.  Peanut is a Maserati of a horse and we had a good speedy go around the ring.  I kept Peanut in control, so owner apparently trusted me enough to have a nice little ride without any interference.  I was so stunned by her permissive and easy-going attitude.  I may make her my new best friend.  We can go riding together.HORSE LOVEI’m super grateful for my homie who organized the evening because he would much rather ride a skateboard than a horse and just arranged the gathering to make me happy.  Sweet, right?GIRLS LOVE HORSES


No Complaining Weekend Challenge

NEVER COMPLAIN NEVER EXPLAINThis weekend, challenge yourself to stop complaining.  From Friday to Sunday, every time you start to bitch – stop.  Substitute a positive statement or say nothing.  For some of us, it’s going to be a really quiet weekend. STOP WHINING


give it a year

WORKING GIRLProfessionally, the last five years have been difficult for many folks, myself included.  My undergraduate degree in philosophy prepared me to think deep thoughts while working retail, so I went the great fallback route and got a law degree to make my mom happy.  I litigated asses for a few years, hated it, and got swept up in the mass layoffs of 2009.  Shortly thereafter, my mom got terminally ill and I concentrated on seeing her through her last days in dignity.  Facing the brevity of life, I couldn’t go back to my soul-suck of career as a paper-pushing attorney.

So a little over a year ago against everyone’s expectations, I chose to pursue what is essentially a mythical career: a full-time yoga teacher.  I know you are rolling your eyes.  Everyone is a yoga instructor.  I get it.  Judge away.  You think I don’t get my share of jaw drops when I tell people I’m a licensed attorney teaching yoga full time?  Girl, please.  I’m not going to bore you with my credentials because I have nothing to prove, but let’s just say I have quite a bit more training than some eight week program at a local studio.  This decision was not made on a whim, I’ve been practicing and teaching for several years.YOGINI

I bargained with myself that I would give it a year; work hard, take every opportunity to teach, and ride out the financial valleys and peaks of this unpredictable career.  Not everyday was a success story.  I taught long stretches without a day off, on holidays, and subbed constantly.  Soon my income began to reflect my commitment level.  I’m doing exactly what I want to do and I couldn’t be happier.  I was a good attorney, but I’m an exceptional teacher.  I only feel comfortable saying that because I’ve worked hard to make it true (to the tune of 576+classes last year).BIKRAM CHILE

It isn’t too late to do what you want.  Yeah, it may require sacrifice, compromise, and strategic planning.  It will require you to bravely defy expectations, embrace humility, and realign priorities.  When you do get your ass on the golden path towards your soul’s rightful journey, your fate will rise up to meet you as the wind presses you towards your destiny.  Why spend your life slugging through the muddy path of resistance?  NEVERENDING STORYGive it at least a year.  Give it everything you’ve got.  Even if you fail miserably, at least you’ll avoid the tragic regret of abandoned dreams.  The more likely outcome is that you’ll succeed and never look back.FOLLOW YOUR HEART


The Holidays Sans Familia

SOLO XMASSince my parents passed on, I don’t really have any family to celebrate the holidays with anymore.  My extended family isn’t close, and I don’t feel like trying to force it out of a misguided sense of obligation.  When I was in a relationship, it was all about his family.  He would drag me to his parents house and abandon me with his mean mother for hours.  After years of enduring that misery, now he doesn’t even bother to wish me a Merry Christmas.  My close friends have their own agendas, none of which include me.  I always get a lot of well-meaning invitations from random outer circle pals and acquaintances, but the thought of accepting any of those invitations triggers major small-talk anxiety.CHRISTMAS ALONETIMESI work so much that two whole days off in a row is a once a year luxury that I can’t afford to misspend.  Some people might consider spending Christmas alone tragic, but the upside is I didn’t have to buy one bullshit present.  Though I happily tipped some well-deserving folks to show gratitude for their day-to-day service.HOLIDAY CASH

My Christmas wish is to relax, sleep-in, eat Trader Joe’s chocolate croissants, and binge-watch the rest of The Affair.  Most folks are plagued with obligations and expectations during the holidays.  This Christmas I’ll be thanking baby Jesus for the freedom to do whatever the fuck I want.WATCHING RUBBISH

The longest night

SNOWY CABINWishing you a warm winter solstice on the longest night of the year.  BABY BIRDS

Many blessings and much love.