Category Archives: SUPPORT

I don’t care if you’re in town

LUCILLE DOESN'T CAREAn ex-boyfriend from 18 years ago called my work twice yesterday looking for me.  He insisted on leaving his number with my assistants because he’s in my town for the weekend.  I haven’t talked to this kid in at least 10 years, and we didn’t part well.  I’m not sure what makes him think I want to see him.  He is very accessible on the internet, so if I wanted access to him I could have had it years ago.  I, on the other hand, go out of my way to keep a low profile.  I don’t have a Facebook page.  I clearly don’t want to be found.  I have no interest in catching up with random people who orbit my life with the infrequency of Halley’s Comet.  Furthermore, his approach to the situation tells me that his worst qualities have only ripened with age.  He’s obviously known for quite some time that he would be in town covering a particular event.  A courteous and thoughtful person would have sent an email with a little advance notice.  Instead, he called my place of employment multiple times in one day like some sort of crazed stalker and just assumed I’ll be elated to drop my packed schedule to accommodate his last minute demands.  Selfish much?  That’s why we broke up asshole.  Unfortunately, I’m going to the event on Saturday so there’s a chance we could run into each other….Ugh…I hate ex-boyfriend run-in paranoia.DON'T CALL ME

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: worry-making

CATHY COMICI know this woman as a friendly acquaintance.  I’ve posted about her before awhile ago.  She’s like a human Cathy Comic.  I liked her though.  I think she’s smart, funny, well-meaning, and enjoyable in small doses.   I’ve extended a number of invitations to her over the last year.  Several months ago, she just stopped responding.  I’m the last holdout on the fucking Facebook, but other friends tried to contact her though her page.  She never responded, despite her FB page showing recent updated activity.  She’s a single woman living alone on my side of town.  Therefore, it’s partially my responsibility to make sure she didn’t die alone, and her cat wasn’t gnawing off her three-day-dead face.  After multiple attempted contacts from a number of sources, finally a co-worker confirmed that Cathy Comic is fine.  No illness.  No tragedy.  Just chronic unresponsiveness.  Well fuck you human Cathy Comic.  Do you know how rude it is to make people worry?  Cathy Comic must be so flush with friends that she doesn’t need any more thoughtful people to care about her.  Well it’s a good thing because I won’t be wasting a moment more of my concern.  I’m recycling that friendship like yesterday’s newspaper.  And don’t come calling when he dumps you.  I don’t want to hear it.  CATHY COMIC BEDIf you are late, call.  If people express concern, respond.  Remember that pit of anxiety that forms when you are worried about someone you love.  Don’t ever recklessly give another that feeling due to your own thoughtlessness and irresponsibility.  It’s fucking rude, and it makes you unworthy of the concern.BYE CATHY

 

a big heartfelt hug

HUGSMy friend had the worst day of her life today.  She suffered a life-altering loss.  I’m not there to hug her.  We live 1400 miles apart.  I have to hug her here.  She’s a loyal reader.  Send a little love to our girl today.  She needs it.  I available to you, call me anytime.  Anything you need.  I love you and I understand.  FRIEND HUG

 

Cookie Butter fueled

TJ SPECULOOS COOKIE BUTTERSHope you had a great weekend lovelies.  3 shows in 3 days + massive weekend work demands = one exhausted little dove.  I’m fueled by bananas and Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie Butter - a truly crackish combo.  I’m awfully thrilled to welcome best pal KB back to town along with her partner.  She’s a super smart lady and an exceptional friend.  I look forward to all the trouble we can get into now they we’re geographically proximate.ROMY AND MICHELEI’ve only tinted my eyelashes once seven years ago, but I’m going to try again this Friday.  Loyal readers understand my personal beauty holy grail involves continually dark lashes without pesky under-eye mascara smudges.

EYELASH TINT

My recent banking fiasco motivated a change in financial institutions.  When the new credit union ran my credit the astonished banker said it was refreshing to see such a high credit score.  To celebrate my fiscal responsibility I went shopping.  In a moment of magical, mystical, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants shit, I found not one, but new three pairs of jeans.  Not only did I find an unlikely triad of sexual jeans (Rag & Bone, Current/Elliott, Vigoss), but they were buy 1 get 2 free.  Grateful to the Denim Gods.KHLOE RAG & BONE

Mung bean sprouts remedy constipation.  Moving along…

MUNG BEAN SPROUTS

 

thank you for being a friend

BLONDE REDOne of my nearest and dearest sets off for a new job, a new locale, and a whole new life today.  I’m super proud of her.  She’s worked hard and deserves success.  Even though we’re no longer geographically close, I’m not worried about our friendship diminishing with distance.  We’ve been supertight friends for a decade, so whether we’re apart 2 days, 2 months, or 2 years it’s like no time has passed.  Treasure your friends, and hang on regardless of where life takes you.  When the men have gone and the children are grown, it’s just going to be you, me, Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia out on the lanai. 

Saturday at the Farmer’s Market

FARMER'S MARKET MONTEREYEGGPLANT FMFARMER'S MARKET TATERSFARMER'S MARKET VEDGEFM FRUIT AND VEGFM VEG SPREADLIL GIRL FMLOS GATOS FM

lOVE/hATE

BRING IT! TOE TOUCHLove ♥ Bring It!  The Lifetime show features a Mississippi dance team called the Dancing Dolls (and their belligerent parents) getting buck in weekly stand battles. DD4L!BRING IT! HEEL TOUCHHate ≈ Bitter, hateful texts from my Ex.  Really?  It’s been over a year, so I was hoping we were well past the intentionally mean break-up phase.MEANLove ♥ Kirkland Sparkling Flavored Water.  In my quest for a zero calorie natural Diet Coke replacement, I stumbled upon this awesome beverage.  This stuff is magical.  I don’t understand how it’s calorie free, artificial sweetener-free, and still bursts with flavor.  Not only that, it’s fortified with Vitamin D, Niacin, B6, B12, Biotin, Pantothenic Acid, and Green Tea Extract.  I’m suspicious because it is seemingly so guilt-free.  By the way, I haven’t had a single Diet Coke since I quit.  Not one.KIRKLAND SPARKLING FLAVORED WATERHate ≈ My Dumbass Bank.  I spent the week untangling a mess at my financial institution because they are too stupid to understand onion routing, and I was too dumb to know not to use to Tor for online banking.  Let this annoying hassle be a cautionary tale.  Bitcoin is the only currency your Tor should ever see. ONION HEADS

 

Go Deep

TORDo you Tor?  You know I’m obsessed with privacy and free speech, so I downloaded Tor, the browser that allows you to explore the web anonymously.  I won’t bore you with the particulars, you can read the Wiki page for that, but Tor provides layers of encryption that makes it pretty much impossible to trace your web doings.  Oh, you didn’t know about the government and corporations spying on your web activities?  Look into it.BIG BROTHER

Tor is also your gateway to the “deep web.”  It took me all of about 20 minutes to stumble down that rabbit hole.  Since I don’t have a need for bulk MDMA, pedoporn, or a contract killer, I really have no use for these sites, but I admit it’s a little thrilling to take a stroll through the back alleys of the internet.  It’s an eBay of criminality people – ANYTHING YOU WANT.  Bitcoin is the currency.  Thank God I didn’t have access to the black markets of the deep web when I was 20, or I would have been crotch-deep in MDMA.  It’s both exhilarating and alarming to know that this unregulated underworld exists and is not at all difficult to access.  Tor.  Go Deep.    GRAMS

Skills for Life: Tiny Cleaning Crew

TINY TOWN BOYLast week, I went on the cutest date with the best man to Tiny TownTiny Town is comprised of a ton of little dollhouses and has a little train you can ride around the modest grounds.  We arrived early before the crowds and commenced our tour of Tiny Town.  As we got toward the back of the colony of dollhouses, I noticed two girls.  The older girl looked about nine years old and the younger one around seven.  They had a bucket and squeegee and were cleaning off the exterior of the tiny houses.  I watched and listened to the diminutive cleaning crew working.  As they cleaned the dirt off the dollhouse windows one by one, I heard the older girl explaining to the younger girl that the water was getting dirty and needed to be changed.  They weren’t complaining, worked together without conflict, and encouraged each other to rally when they got tired.  I was super impressed.  Not only were these girls participating in age-appropriate chores, but the older girl was mentoring the younger girl by teaching her cleaning skills for life.  There was no direct adult supervision, and there didn’t need to be because these two young ladies were clearly raised with a sense of responsibility.  TINY TOWN TWO GIRLSYesterday, during my teeth cleaning, I was listening to my hygienist bitch about her step-children – two girls – ages ten and twelve who are spoiled brats with zero responsibility.  These girls respect no one because they have never been taught respect.  They have no life skills because no one ever taught them how to pick up after themselves.  As a result, the girls are ungrateful and bored because they have no appreciation for responsibility.  Parents who shelter their children from work are doing their kids a great disservice.  Find age-appropriate tasks and teach your children early on that life is a balance between work and fun.  Prepare your children for the reality of life not your fantasy of an ideal childhood.  Teach them self-soothing skills and self-sufficiency, so you don’t end up gifting the world with your useless, lazy, spoiled, entitled, and ungrateful offspring.  Yeah, I sound judgmental, but when it comes to parenting – if you aren’t going to do it right, don’t do it at all. TINY TOWN KID