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Halloween is just a week away, so it is officially time to start panicking over a costume. Beware of these common dress-up blunders to avoid humiliation, mockery, and generally making an ass of yourself this year.
Don’t go too slutty. Did we learn anything from Kelly Taylor’s turn as a slutty witch on that classic Halloween episode of BH 90210? Don’t be a desperate shivering bitch tromping around in next-to-nothing. Halloween is not an excuse to act out your deepest exhibitionist fantasy in public. Go with a clever rather than cooter-revealing costume to elicit legit attention. On this same tip, dressing up as Snooki is so 3 years ago and totally forbidden.
Don’t overly complicate. Returning to BH 90210, (where all of life’s most essential lessons are learned), don’t pull a Donna Martin mermaid moment and wear some get-up that restricts basic mobility. Everyone will snicker behind your back and it smacks of over-effort.
On the other end of the spectrum, Don’t go too cutesy. The most successful costumes frighten, disguise, imitate, or evoke humor. If you wanna go pretty-pretty princess, throw on an old prom dress, pour fake blood over your head, and go as Carrie. 
Marie Antoinette
Gnome
Hello Kitty
Jane Goodall
Pac Man
Gonna take a long rest after an epic road trip, but Rachel Zoe commentary is on the way, Trust. Thanks for your patience.
It is gauche to discuss money, but between us friends, yesterday I raked in almost $2,000 in cash during my epic garage sale. Wanna know how I maximized my profit? 
1) Don’t sell anything for less than $1. You won’t make any money or move any merch selling individual items for thirty cents, so you must…
2) Bundle small items together. Group like items and rubberband them together to clear out more and justify the $1 minimum…

3) Know the value of what you are selling. Power tools sell quick and command a premium. Clothes only sell when they are the right size and aesthetically attractive to a specific buyer. Most folks have a surplus of kitchen accessories. Price these items accordingly. 
As some of you know, I’ve been stuck on the buckle of the Bible belt for much of the summer on account of some personal tragedy. It hasn’t been easy or fun, but one special lady certainly brought a little sunshine to some very cloudy days.
The very talented Joyce Bunch owns a reputable salon in Morristown, Tennessee called LaBoe. Picture Dolly Parton from Steel Magnolias and you are almost there. Kind-hearted with a gentle touch, Joyce breaks out some cutting edge treatments in this little town. For example, have you ever had a cold saline jet peel? Very enjoyable.
Now most of you might count your lucky stars that Morristown, Tennessee isn’t on the travel itinerary for this year. However, you too can enjoy a little LaBoe goodness. She produces a top-notch and reasonably priced beauty line. Check out www.laboesalon.com for an excellent array of potent products. Free from fragrance and artificial color, Joyce keeps it real and focuses on results-oriented skincare. I’d put her glycolic face cream up against any prestige brand. The LaBoe skincare line comes in generously sized containers that make you feel like you are getting two for one. 
If you live in east Tennessee and you aren’t at the Cracker Barrel right now (don’t get mad, I heart okra too) you must visit Joyce Bunch for a little derma-TLC. For those geographically far-flung, get on these products. Your friends will be dying to know your skincare secret. 
Lately, a lot of folks have just dropped by unannounced. How difficult is it to call and give a heads up? Just because it happens to be convenient for the people who want to stop by doesn’t mean it is a good time for the host. Look, I stay ugly and gross sometimes at home, and I ain’t trying to get spooked by some overly enthusiastic motherfucker dropping in for a chat. I’m not above cutting the lights and hiding behind the couch. So if you knock twice and get no answer, you’ll know why. Drop a dime and save yourself the time.