Friday, August 20th, 2010
Saturday, July 31st, 2010
When is the last time you cleaned out your make-up box or bag? That bacterial orgy is nasty, for reals. Time to handle your biznass.
First things first, sort through your collection and liberally toss anything falling into one of the following categories: 1) products not used within the last three months, 2) mascara older than three months, 3) old, cracked, raggedy-ass products, sponges, tools, or brushes. Think of it this way – you are making room for a few new treats just in time for the change of season. 
Depending on your personal set up, several approaches could work. Throw your make-up bag in the laundry, or scrub your box with hot water and an abrasive cleaner like Mrs. Meyers. As for your brushes, a few drops of mild detergent or shampoo in a big bucket of soapy warm water usually does the trick. Rinse thoroughly, and take time to dry your brushes. Shine the outside of your compacts with anti-bacterial wipes. Trust, you won’t regret initiating August with a clean kit and a fresh face.

When it comes to incense, stick to Nag Champa or Super Hit. Everything else smells like a nasty, smoky, perfumey, headachey mess.
Nag Champa clobbers farts, weed, cooking smells, and pet odors leaving behind a pleasant mellow after scent.
Whether it has psychoactive properties is debatable, but it has been favored in ashrams for centuries.
Derived from the Ailanthus Malabarica tree, Nag Champa brings a little India to you (without the long flight and the dysentery).
There are very clear and distinct rules for hosting an overnight guest. If hosting is done properly, a lot of preparation and careful forethought is required.
First, you must clean. You must clean above and beyond your normal routine. If you don’t have a normal cleaning routine, you are a filthy pig and don’t deserve a visit anyway.
Guests should never have to confront your pubes on the toilet, your hair in the shower, or a dirty bathmat. The accommodations you provide for your guests should exceed the standards of cleanliness at a four star hotel. Even if your accommodations are modest, they must be impeccably clean.
Your guest needs a place to put his or her things. Provide empty shelves in the bathroom and hanging space for clothing. Think about what you need when you stay somewhere, provide extra towels, extra blankets, ear plugs, and any little extra luxury your guest might enjoy.
As a guest, be respectful and use only the guest bathroom. Keep your things in your assigned space and not scattered about your host’s home. Respect each others privacy.
Guests, you’ve got three days. That’s it. Hosting well is an art and it can be tiring. To ensure a repeat invitation always leave your host wanting more.
Thursday, April 1st, 2010
I’m sure many of you are familiar with Mrs. Meyers, so I won’t bore you with reiterations of her greatness. I like hard-to-find Rhubarb best. Concentrated, effective, earth-friendly, break it out for some spring cleaning.
Thursday, March 4th, 2010
There is nothing I hate more than a dirty bastard so from time to time I will offer cleaning tips so you dirty fucks can get your shit together. Trust me, you are filthy and you need me, so just relax and lean into it. This one doesn’t even take any extra effort on your part.

Recently I began utilizing the “soak” cycle on my washing machine and I’ve noticed my laundry has been getting so much cleaner. Soaking doesn’t require any additional water, it just gives the detergent more time to work. I like to put the detergent, a stain-lifting booster or bleach, and the softener all in during the soak cycle and let it mingle for at least thirty minutes before switching the dial to agitate. Spots vanish, whites brighten, and your clothes will smell better.