We hate Brad Goreski’s new reality show It’s a Brad, Brad World, right? I gave it 2 episodes just to make sure I wasn’t prematurely dismissing the unnecessary spin-off, but his grating Canadian expat valley-speak hasn’t gotten any less annoying. 
With his bow tie overkill and predictable match-clash style, I’m so bored with him already. Don’t brag about styling Jessica Alba. Jessica Alba almost never gets it right. 
Brad obviously thinks he’s really cute and doesn’t hesitate to remind the audience how adorable we are supposed to find him. We all well know there can only be one prettiest girl in the room. The question is, does Brad want to be that girl or style her? 
Thank heavens Portlandia returns tonight with new a brand new season.
As many of you know, Fred and Carrie churn out one of the cleverest sketch shows on the scene. For those who haven’t yet visited Portlandia, grab your bike, catch up and catch on. 
New and improved formula now includes chunks of Eddie Vedder. Yum. 
Pregnancy speculation themed this week’s Tori & Dean yet again. Since this child was born months ago, do we really care?
May I comment on the fact that Stella is like the most delightful child ever? I have yet to see her throw a tantrum, and I’ve been watching closely. Even Liam is less of an asshole this season. That Adderall-laced breakfast cereal must be working. 
The last press-heavy event scheduled to take place during Tori’s first trimester was the GLAAD Awards. This bitch obviously has no fucking idea of how to disguise a pregnancy with intelligent fashion choices. Tori thought it appropriate to wear a shiny black tent attached to a Wilma Flintstone-style set of oversized gold pearls. 
The dress draped over her bump and the shiny fabric betrayed her secret. Who needs a confirmation? This fug dress is the confirmation. Oh, and she took the chicken. 
It was Dean’s turn to spin the career wheel this week and his arrow landed on “culinary student.” Because every 
After getting the clear from her long-suffering OBGYN, Tori decided to scoop the gossip weeklies and announce the pregnancy on her own Twitter feed. Then she thoroughly enjoyed taking a fame bath in her self-drawn trending-topic tub.
Naturally, Kathie Lee was butt-hurt over Tori denying the pregnancy to her face on the 4th hour, but a bouquet of flowers and a cheeky note seemed to smooth things over.
Who watched the premiere of Oprah’s Next Chapter last night? Oprah visited Steven Tyler at his Sunapee, New Hampshire home and more often than not it was awkward and uncomfortable. First, Oprah showed up with two huge buckets full of hydrangeas “she cut herself from her garden,” as a totally random gift for the singer. Without their personal assistants to wrangle the flowers, Oprah and Steven dithered indecisively over where to set them down until eventually plopping them down next to a tree.
In case you didn’t know, Steven Tyler randomly bursts into song without provocation. Regular Oprah Winfrey Show watchers remember how embarrassing Oprah gets in the midst of live music. The two of them together made for some weird moments over the first hour. Tyler intermittently released guttural screeches, and in response Oprah froze in an uncomfortable smile, not sure of whether to do her usual pretend lip synch routine, laugh, or gaze on in admiration. 
Even though it was laced with uneasiness, we learned a few things about Steven Tyler from the interview. He believes the rest of Aerosmith envies him – a phenomenon his describes as LSD – Lead Singer Disorder. Tyler literally thinks he’s magic and proclaims he always knew he would be a famous rockstar, informing his mother of the fact as a child. In a nutshell, he totally buys into his own delusions of grandeur. As Steven pontificated on his many gifts, a wash of recognition came over Oprah as she realized he sounded like a self-aggrandizing asshole. Did the queen of self-reflection consider whether she came off equally as pompous when talking about herself? This remains to be seen. 
Later in the interview, during a ride in his antique car, Steven clasped Oprah’s hand and said, “I’m so lonely in life. I have no friends like you. I’m alone. I’m alone.” Oprah responded, “Now you’re not, cause now we will be friends.” How can you be friends with a self-important, insufferable asshole who believes musical talent and a lot of good luck makes you a superior species? And I say that with a total fondness for the delightful kooky genius that is Steven Tyler. 
During the last twenty minutes of the 2 hour program, Tyler’s new fiancé Erin Brady joined the interview. In an unexpected turn, I kinda like her.
Industry gossips say Oprah and the pockets behind the struggling network were hoping Next Chapter would improve the ratings and begin to turn things around at OWN. While the interviews may perform decently in the ratings, this is not Oprah at her best. And I don’t think I’m the first to wonder if much like Madonna, her best days are done. 
Now I’m not even trying to front like this hugely popular show hasn’t been all over everyone’s top list for the last year, but I just got around to it, so now I’m going to throw some shine on Downton Abbey too. Why risk redundancy? Because it is just that fucking excellent. 
Obviously Maggie Smith rules, and she is in top form here as a domineering Countess. She’s just one yummy morsel of an all around delicious ensemble cast. Truthfully, there isn’t a bad actor in the bunch. 
So you are thinking period drama = snoozy, right? Wrong bitches. Academy Award-winning writer Julian Fellowes (Gosford Park) propels the story forward using death, love, accusations, and swirling intrigue to keep the viewer super engaged.
There’s even a little Edwardian style man-on-man fun for those queens that need further convincing. 
Downton Abbey is everything. Obtain, devour, and enjoy seasons 1 & 2 now.
In case you missed it last night on Teen Mom 2, Kailyn sought out birth control from some beady-eyed OBGYN. During the course of the episode, the word Mirena was uttered no less than 7 times. Mirena was mentioned thrice by the Doc and Kailyn and once by new boyfriend Jordan as if under coercion.
We’re not talking about the word IUD, we’re talking specifically about the peppering of the pharmaceutical brand name “Mirena.” Coincidence or profitable product placement? The exam and “insertion” ran like a 5 minute commercial shoved into the show. Did Kailyn get a free IUD in return for her enthusiasm?
Marketing a long-term hormone based contraception to teenage girls is an interesting choice considering their high risk for contracting an STD during unprotected sex. Personal opinion only here: keep the hormones and the foreign devices out of your body and keep the wenis wrapped. 
Tori and Dean made it through the Ann Curry portion of their appearance on the Today Show without having to field any pregnancy questions. 
During the 4th hour, the couple wasn’t so lucky. Without a hint of irony after just bragging about how honesty is the cornerstone to their reality show’s popularity, Tori denied the pregnancy to an overly inquisitive Kathy Lee. Is she under an obligation to inform the public of the status of her baby farm? Of course not, but is she insulting us all by appearing on live television with what looks like a 5 month pregnancy bump and denying what is obviously and apparently true? Yes. Wanna keep your pregnancy a secret? Then reschedule your press junket fame whore. 
Tori turned to Dean for support, but he just stammered. The consummate professional, Tori fibbed that they weren’t currently expecting, but they were working on it. After an awkward beat or two, Kathy Lee wrapped the segment and Tori stumbled off set looking extra nauseous. 
After the Today Show appearance, Tori and Mehran hit up a string of meetings. First up, the two met with a potential new manufacturer for Little Maven. The current manufacturer filed for bankruptcy, so this meeting was a last ditch effort to save the Tori-plays-kids-designer project. 
Next came the purse conference, because the world needs another purse line like the world needs another McDermott child. While Tori did business, Dean, Patsy, and the kids did the natural history museum. 
During a meeting with Gallery Books, Tori presented her vision to the team and confessed she planned to dedicate the party planning book to her Mom. The publishers got big book boners over Coco the blue-beaked chicken, indicating that the publication of Celebratori was a foregone conclusion. A preliminary Amazon search reveals the book is due for release early April, 2012. 
A trip to New York wouldn’t be complete without a frozen hot chocolate moment at Serendipity, so that’s where the whole gang followed up a sickly sweet visit to Dylan’s Candy Bar. In public, Tori can’t help loudly discussing her poorly concealed pregnancy. Not only did she inhale her frozen hot chocolate, she kept hunching over in an obvious attempt to overcompensate. She’s acting like she’s Angelina Jolie or something. Nobody really cares that much. Plus the McDermotts are self-proclaimed baby farmers, so anticipating a third pregnancy isn’t a wild stretch. Less than a week away from her second trimester, Tori’s obviously just stirring up unnecessary drama for this tired-ass reality show. Girl never tires of the hustle. 
Kreepy Kendall Kutout
Kreepy Kim Kutout
Kreepy Kourtney Kutout
-
Home > TV