Please tell me you watched the premiere of True Tori on Lifetime last night. It was everything. True Tori proves there are no bounds to Spelling’s self-delusion. First, we’re all supposed to pretend this is the only time Dean’s cheated. Tori honey, Dean cheated with you, and he’s been cheating on you. He’s a big fat cheater. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. Does anyone honestly believe this was an isolated incident? Dean strikes me as a guy who is as indiscriminately unfaithful as his opportunities.Tori had the audacity to say, “Don’t feel sorry for me.” Oh don’t worry; we don’t. She complained about raising 4 kids on her own. Do you think she thought about Dean’s then-wife Mary raising their 2 kids alone when Spelling went husband-snatching on the set of her sad little Lifetime movie 7 years ago? I suspect not. In a pathetic ploy to garner undeserved audience sympathy, Spelling shamelessly plays put-upon mommy despite my hunch that she has a fleet of nannies hovering conveniently out of frame to provide behind the scenes support while Deano’s trolls the inpatient ward for his latest conquest. Tori and Lindsay must have graduated from the same learning annex course on self-exploitation through bad reality programming. Both celebrities offer up publicist-curated versions of their mundane lives sprinkled generously with oversharing of their most private personal dramas – all whilst complaining about the constant paparazzi swarm who keep them on the covers of tabloids. Happy to whore themselves out to a reality show camera crew for personal monetary gain, these bitches clutch their pearls in outrage should anyone else profit off the insatiable interest in their misfortune. These two skinny bitches must have discovered hypocrisy burns more calories than Adderall.