Of All the Mascaras in my Makeup Bag

BENEFIT THEYRE REALThe Sephora lady foamed all over herself to sell me this Benefit They’re Real Mascara, but I think for all the hype it’s overrated.  There’s a spikey ball on the end of the brush meant to get at those little inner corner hairs, but instead it smears product on my nose and eyelid.  The mascara itself isn’t extraordinary.  After a couple hours of wear, it migrates under the eye which as far as I’m concerned isn’t acceptable mascara behavior.  Grade: CITS SO BIGIt’s So Big has quite the following on Amazon, but I don’t share in the fervor.  The packaging dispenses too much product on the brush.  I don’t have time for the double wipe.  Furthermore, the formula is drying.  Grade: C-

BOOTS NO7 EXTRAVAGANT VOLUME

Boots No7 Extravagant Volume Mascara snuck into my cosmetics bag, and I kinda forgot it was in there.  Waaaaay to much product dispenses on the brush and makes for a very messy and unpleasant application experience.  The brush is so gunky this mascara is almost unusable.  Grade: DTOO FACED BETTER THAN SEX

Of all the mascaras tested, Too Faced Better Than Sex really gives good glam.  BTS delivers major length, non-clumping density, and a deep rich black color.  It’s a great mascara except for staying power.  I love the lash effect, but the under-eye migration ain’t cute. Grade: B+

NYX FULL FIGURED

I saved the best for last.  NYX Full Figured mascara is my favorite of the bunch.  I don’t usually go for waterproof, but NYX Full Figured possesses great staying power.  It lengthens softly.  The brush separates.  No clumping.  Deep Black.  Lasts all day.  Withstands my hot yoga class better than all the other mascaras on this list.  It’s also affordable.  Grade: AMASCARA LASHES

thank you for being a friend

BLONDE REDOne of my nearest and dearest sets off for a new job, a new locale, and a whole new life today.  I’m super proud of her.  She’s worked hard and deserves success.  Even though we’re no longer geographically close, I’m not worried about our friendship diminishing with distance.  We’ve been supertight friends for a decade, so whether we’re apart 2 days, 2 months, or 2 years it’s like no time has passed.  Treasure your friends, and hang on regardless of where life takes you.  When the men have gone and the children are grown, it’s just going to be you, me, Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia out on the lanai. 

Saturday at the Farmer’s Market

FARMER'S MARKET MONTEREYEGGPLANT FMFARMER'S MARKET TATERSFARMER'S MARKET VEDGEFM FRUIT AND VEGFM VEG SPREADLIL GIRL FMLOS GATOS FM

lOVE/hATE

BRING IT! TOE TOUCHLove ♥ Bring It!  The Lifetime show features a Mississippi dance team called the Dancing Dolls (and their belligerent parents) getting buck in weekly stand battles. DD4L!BRING IT! HEEL TOUCHHate ≈ Bitter, hateful texts from my Ex.  Really?  It’s been over a year, so I was hoping we were well past the intentionally mean break-up phase.MEANLove ♥ Kirkland Sparkling Flavored Water.  In my quest for a zero calorie natural Diet Coke replacement, I stumbled upon this awesome beverage.  This stuff is magical.  I don’t understand how it’s calorie free, artificial sweetener-free, and still bursts with flavor.  Not only that, it’s fortified with Vitamin D, Niacin, B6, B12, Biotin, Pantothenic Acid, and Green Tea Extract.  I’m suspicious because it is seemingly so guilt-free.  By the way, I haven’t had a single Diet Coke since I quit.  Not one.KIRKLAND SPARKLING FLAVORED WATERHate ≈ My Dumbass Bank.  I spent the week untangling a mess at my financial institution because they are too stupid to understand onion routing, and I was too dumb to know not to use to Tor for online banking.  Let this annoying hassle be a cautionary tale.  Bitcoin is the only currency your Tor should ever see. ONION HEADS

 

Fall 2014 Couture {Giambattista Valli}

GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 9GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 1GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 3GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 2GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 5GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 4GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 8GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 6GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 7GIAMBATTISTA VALI FALL 2014 COUTURE 10

August 2014 Horoscopes

LeoLEO

Happy Birthday Leo!  You like to pretend you don’t like a fuss Leo, but that’s just because you know darn well everyone always makes a fuss for you on your birthday.  Welcome change by altering your look without falling prey to rampant materialism.  Mars-Saturn energy can be used for good or evil.  At worst this combo evokes jealousy, stubbornness, and revenge, but those qualities are not characteristic of you, so instead use the influence as a moral barometer.  In August, if situations feel even a little hinky take the ethical high ground.  Usually a good communicator, you are even better in August, so speak your truth and have “the talk.”  Fertile with creativity, channel your talent into producing tangible beauty.  Surely you already feel Jupiter’s invigorating influence in Leo urging you to fuck and travel, not necessarily in that order.  Mid-August, turn down the covers for Venus as she enters your bedroom, Leo.  Have your sexy fun.  Then pull it together and clean yourself up after the 23rd.

VirgoVIRGO

Astrologically speaking Virgo, the weeks before your birthday are a wise time to quietly regroup for the coming year.  A dietary cleanse, house purge, and visit to the doctor for an annual physical are good places to start.  While experiencing lagging energy, some of your regular routines fall by the way side.  It may feel like you are active because of the demands on your time, but when is the last occasion you actually broke a sweat (unrelated to anxiety)?  You can’t afford to waste energy worrying.  August offers a respite and opportunity to turn inward.  Within this period of soul searching, Virgo may experience some feelings of disappointment, depression, and isolation which should dissipate after the 23rd.  Timing plays a pivotal role in your success this month.

LibraLIBRA

Financial concerns preoccupy your mind through most of the August, Libra.  Partnered Libras must work through these money worries with your mate which could stir domestic discord when sacrifices must be made for the benefit of the budget.  Professionally, Libra wants to work with and for people you admire and trust.  Your little work family means more than you realize.  Value them accordingly because this is a big year for collaborating in groups.  When you are in the trenches, you want someone to have your back.  August presents a number of chances for fun and random encounters.  Libras looking to spark with another should make themselves available at such gatherings (especially August 10th).  Enjoy yourself; just don’t get too wasted.

Scorpio

SCORPIO

Scorpio benefits from an amazing career boosting configuration in August.  Jupiter provides a steady positive influence until this time next year.  Add the glow of the Sun, the popularity and collaboration of Venus, and Mercury’s clarity of communication and you have all the makings for a professionally unstoppable Scorpio.  Strive for excellence to make the most of this power.  While happy to hear that your prestige and earnings are on the upswing, Scorpios long for love.  Family and friends supply the emotional nourishment you need this month.  Look to a strong woman for support.  Scorpio’s health and wellness are vulnerable now, so take quality care of yourself in August.

SagittariusSAG

Sags, your theme in August is distance which manifests in travel, receiving guests, or news from afar.  Take that last minute trip you are itching for.  If geographically bound to home, make an internet friend from the other side of the world.  Sags have a hankering for foreign culture this summer.  August 10th brings long awaited news.  When the going gets tough, love lubricates the difficult moments.  Partnered Sags connect through a deep sense of gratitude.  Over the next year, Jupiter will influence your desire to pursue specialized education.  Practice and study to achieve true mastery.  The areas of concern this month are money and health.  August serves up financial peril – at best delays, at worst substantial loss.  Care for yourself properly and minimize unnecessary risks.

Capricorn

CAP

Venus waltzes in to romance Capricorn and make you especially lucky in love, but watch out because the Sun is in Leo your house of extremes.  The upside to this influence is that it leaves you pliant, easy-going, warm, sexual, and snuggly.  The downside is that emotionally you will feel embarrassingly needy, uncomfortable, and pathetic.  Finances look favorable.  An unexpected investment opportunity may spring forth from the romantic relationship you’re cultivating.  For Cap, money and love make comfortable bedfellows.  Collaboration creates cash flow in August.  Just be judicious with whom you invest with when it comes to friends.  To remain healthy, spend your free time fucking or sleeping instead of fussing and fretting.

AquariusAQUARIUS

Relationships play a central theme for Aquarius over the next year with Jupiter’s influence.  The Sun and Mercury enter the scene to add magnetic glow and support clear communication.  Seek relationships based on reciprocity and balance.  With this three-way energetic influence no one can resist your charm.  A full schedule keeps boredom at bay, but when you get worn out you also get combative, bitchy, and intolerable.  Know when to say no.  August isn’t the time to burn bridges with prosperous contacts because you’re in a bad mood.  Sleep soundly.  Drink less booze.  Eat better.  Spend devoted time with members of your family who nourish, fortify, and love you.

PiscesPISCES

Love, sex, and lust, these are the prominent themes for Pisces this August. With this energy comes risk for a certain degree of naughtiness.  The least prudent among you may commence an illicit affair or engage in other ill-advised risky sexual behavior.  Practical partnered Pisces pour this energy into strengthening the dynamic duo.  Eventually, the tingle in your pants dissipates enough for you to begin to think clearly again.  August offers opportunities for you to make the highest and best use of your talents.  You can relax because you are competent and have a genuine camaraderie with coworkers.  Book beauty and therapy appointments for very favorable results in August.

Aries

ARIES

August has all the makings for a damn good month, Aries.  The atmosphere is ripe for love.  You look good.  You feel good, and you are ready to take chances.  The Sun, Mercury, and Venus play matchmakers.  People enjoy your charisma and want to make friends.  Open up to the idea of expanding your social circle.  Ambition amps your attitude towards work.  Clear professional objectives literally pay off; initiate mass organization on the 23rd.  Avoid financing and just pay cash.  Resist day-trading or other speculative financial dealings this month.  Push yourself to get sweaty, go beyond working out in the gym and get outside.  Wear a helmet to remain safe during accident-prone August.

TaurusTAURUS

Taurus adopts a stubborn and detrimental stance in relationships in August.  Already unyielding, this influence adds a layer of irrationality that only a hard-headed Bull would entertain.  You’ll find yourself in sticky situations personally and professionally.  Committed Bulls have the added pressure of working through the struggle with your partner.  The discord provides a meaningful test for your relationship.  If you can get through this without tearing each other apart then there’s substance there worth retaining.  Single Bulls should stay that way, as your shitty attitude will spoil the nascent stirrings of love.  August is a favorable time to add to your real estate holdings, so spend the month torturing your real estate agent.

Gemini

GEMINI

Connecting through communication is your theme for August, Gemini.  Hearing the right phrase at the right time, a sense of intellectual collaboration, these are the moments that bring you closer to others this month.  When you find someone that sees the world as you do, it sparks your passion and a number of intense, bonding conversations will follow.  Travel may be on the calendar, but even Geminis remaining close to home will have a packed schedule.  This month, Gemini encounters challenging problems which can leave you in a state of overwhelmed paralysis.  Use humor to get you through the roughest patches.  You are strong enough and smart enough to ultimately persevere.

Cancer

CANCER

Cancer craves stability and security in August.  Practical matters like budgets and organizing your daily routine dominate.  With Jupiter influencing your pocketbook, you can look forward to a full year of solid income.  When some Crabs get their claws on more cash, they spend, spend, spend.  No. No. No.  Line your shell with savings.  Order the small.  Do not take a dessert to go.  Emotionally tender, your closest moments will happen with a loved one near the 10th.  Failure to make your health a priority will result in disastrous consequences.  Keep your body moving and force yourself to break a sweat.  Generally speaking, discipline isn’t your strength, but it’s time to start flexing that muscle.

Go Deep

TORDo you Tor?  You know I’m obsessed with privacy and free speech, so I downloaded Tor, the browser that allows you to explore the web anonymously.  I won’t bore you with the particulars, you can read the Wiki page for that, but Tor provides layers of encryption that makes it pretty much impossible to trace your web doings.  Oh, you didn’t know about the government and corporations spying on your web activities?  Look into it.BIG BROTHER

Tor is also your gateway to the “deep web.”  It took me all of about 20 minutes to stumble down that rabbit hole.  Since I don’t have a need for bulk MDMA, pedoporn, or a contract killer, I really have no use for these sites, but I admit it’s a little thrilling to take a stroll through the back alleys of the internet.  It’s an eBay of criminality people – ANYTHING YOU WANT.  Bitcoin is the currency.  Thank God I didn’t have access to the black markets of the deep web when I was 20, or I would have been crotch-deep in MDMA.  It’s both exhilarating and alarming to know that this unregulated underworld exists and is not at all difficult to access.  Tor.  Go Deep.    GRAMS

Peach Teas

Xing Green Tea with Peach & Honey

XING PEACH GREEN TEASweet.  Peachy.  Tarty.  Dry finish.  180 calories for a monstrous 23.5 oz can.

Honest Tea Peach Oo-la-long

HONEST TEA PEACHOrganic.  Far less sweet.  Mildly peachy.  Assertive tea taste.  60 calories in 16 oz.

Tazo Giant PeachTAZO GIANT PEACH

Major peachyness.  More juice than tea.  Super fruity and sweet.  150 calories for 13.8 oz.

Republic of Tea Ginger PeachREPUBLIC OF TEA PEACH

Strong black tea.  Caffeine kick.  Iced or hot.  Lightly bitter finish.

Teavana Peach Tranquility

Full-bodied peachy taste layered over gentle tea blend.  Superb hot/cold.  Caffeine-free.PEACH TEA

Fall 2014 Couture {Ulyana Sergeenko}

ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 5ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 1ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 8ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 12ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 7ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 13ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 6ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 4ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 11ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 9ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 10ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 3ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 2ULYANA SERGEENKO FALL 2014 COUTURE 14