Just finished Whateverland, the new book by Alexis Stewart and Jennifer Koppelman Hutt. The thrown together self-proclaimed anti self-help book doesn’t add much to the conversation. Filled with anecdotes and affluence-skewed life advice, the content retreads material familiar to fans of Whatever Martha! or the pair’s satellite radio show. 
The throwaway read was quite the disappointment until I reached the conclusion, where out of no where the two announce, “Our working relationship and friendship were great while they lasted.” Odd, right? It is one thing to have a falling out with a friend; it is another to confess it in the book you co-wrote. Last week Jennifer and Alexis appeared on The Today Show and much ado has been made about Stewart’s icy demeanor. She was chilly, but when has Alexis ever been warm and fuzzy?
Alexis made a few pointed digs about “clingyness” and serving the silent treatment, but so far the details of the friendship demise are sketchy. Jennifer appears to be taking the high road, even going so far as to say she “loves” Alexis despite their rift. So what’s the story ladies? Unless Jennifer dropped your new baby Jude on her head or something, Alexis should really get over it and stop acting like she’s flush with friends. A loyal friend is hard to find. Let the little things go and forgive.
The most frustrating part? On the newest incarnation of the MARTHA show, Martha Stewart is in particularly rare form. Know-it-all Martha condescends (where you think Alexis got it?) ridicules, and insults guests and their expertise five days a week on her talk show. For instance, when Jeff Leatham was on, she taught him a thing or two about flowers. Like fine fromage, this bitch just keeps getting better with age. With this much readily available source material for Whatever Martha!, it is a damn shame Alexis and Jennifer don’t do a MARTHA after show, because truthfully, their new show fucking sucks. Pull it together ladies, nothing offends like squandered potential.
My interest in Martha Stewart revolves mainly around her daughter, Alexis, who co-hosts the hilarious show Whatever, Martha! with the lovely Jennifer Koppelman Hutt.
The book is called Best of Friends, and it is a four hundred page doozy. I’m about half way through, but I already have some juicy gossip for you, so I’ll break my review into two parts.
First off, don’t get it twisted, this is one self-serving book. Pasternak’s overwrought writing style is self-indulgent and distracting, but she retains quite a bit of detail from her memories of the 90′s. Here are a few gems from the first two hundred pages.
Martha was infuriated her husband Andy had an affair with Erica Jong because she “writes about having sex!”
Martha dated and probably fucked Charlie Rose.
Martha was supposed to be on the ill-fated Sandy Pittman 1996 Everest climb where eight people died. She and Blaine Trump backed out at the last minute.
In the early days when Martha ran a catering company, she had Alexis do some cooking for her. This was back when Alexis was in middle school. One evening, Alexis made madeleines and apparently they were too dark for Martha, so she awoke Alexis in the middle of the night, on a school night, and demanded she make a new batch! 
No wonder Alexis grew up to mock her mother professionally. I’d be fucking resentful too.
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