Tag Archives: animals

skunk liberation

SKUNK This super cute baby skunk got stuck in a window well.  It has been so hot and I was worried the little thing would die.  First, I lowered water down in a cup so it could drink.  Then I fretted how to free my little friend without subjecting myself to nature’s version of tear gas.SKUNK OVERHEAD I selected a couple spare pieces of scrap wood to create an escape bridge for my black & white buddy.  The boards seen here didn’t quite cut it.  I upgraded to a wider, thicker, rougher option, softened the angle of the incline, and put a blanket on top so skunkie could climb to freedom.  I sweetened the trail with cat food to lure it up and out of its accidentally self-imposed cement cage.  SKUNK 1By the way, if a skunk enters your realm and gets stuck, don’t expect animal control to help.  Most will refer skunk cases to private pest control.  I was worried sick about my little terrified pal, but with patience and the right tools it made its way home.  Thank gawd, because I would not have been able to deal with a dead baby skunk.  Nope.  Not at all. SKUNK 4SKUNK BUTTPICT0018

Vegas Veggie House

I confess I hate Las Vegas.  It is not the town for the pragmatic or the vegetarian, so there are two strikes against me right there.   However, after recently seeking out Veggie House, I now have a reason to look forward to refueling in the (cultural) desert.

In the ancient tradition of vegetarian Chinese cooking, Veggie House serves some of the best mock meat for miles.  Veggie House offers an extensive menu of cruelty-free seafood, beef, and chicken.  Enjoy the crispy “beef” and save the sweetfaced cow.  

Veggie House is truly a vegetarian oasis in one of the world’s most unrelentingly carnivorous cities.  Located in Chinatown, it will also get your uncultured ass off that gawd awful soul-less strip.

Sunday with Humpback Whales

Each winter, humpback whales come to the warm waters off the coast of Hawaii to breed, birth, and nurture their calves. At one time, perhaps only a thousand thrived, but recent conservation efforts have resulted in a population boom.  Now more than twenty thousand whales are thought to take the long journey down from their Alaskan feeding waters to enjoy the Hawaiian channels.  There is not really any food for the adult whales in the crystal clear blue waters, so their time in Hawaii is a bit like whale Ramadan.They are literally everywhere this time of year, especially off the coast of Maui.  If you want a relatively close look, a boat is best, but you can see them easily from shore.  I was practicing yoga on the beach and a few friendly humpbacks came over and waved good morning.With whale watching comes whale tales.  Folks just LOVE to talk about their super-close whale encounters.  Some of those stories are true, but most are wildly exaggerated.  I personally don’t need to ride a whale to feel as if I’ve had the experience.  Maintain a respectful distance. 

Swoon

AFRICA

Please tell me that you are watching this gorgeous BBC/Discovery multi-part special featuring different regions and wildlife of Africa.  Three of seven episodes have aired, so far we’ve seen creatures of the Congo, Kalahari, and  Savannah.

There are black rhinos gently nuzzling in the moonlight. Enjoy lions bitch-fighting in the dirt.Watch to find out why this Shoebill is rude.  If none of that interests you perhaps the elephant wang will.  Get a load of that trunk. 

Demeter Clarc: 5, Mice: 0

I love the woods, but I do not enjoy a rodent infestation.  Which is exactly what I moved into the 1st of July.  I spent more than a few nights jumping at every little sound completely skeeved at the thought of the disease harbingers prancing around on my possessions.

I declared war, and I do believe I have won.

As you know, I respect life.  I don’t eat animals and don’t like to kills things.  However, when it comes to pests invading my home, I develop serial-killer ruthlessnses. First, block your enemy’s entries and exits.  Use steel wool to plug up even the tiniest hole.  Mice won’t chew through it.  Exterior dryer vents can create easy access for critters, but don’t block them completely or you’ll catch the damn house on fire.  Try metal mesh screen as a barrier, but remember to clean the lint out regularly.   Our furry friends are good climbers and jumpers, so plug every little opening even if it is some distance from the ground. Second, and I’m likely to get some flack for this, lay the glue traps.  In my experience, they are the easiest, cheapest, and most effective traps.  Are they cruel?  Perhaps.  But life is cruel.  Put these traps down along walls and near the entry and exit points you plugged with steel wool.  The entrapped creatures will go for the exit and get stuck.  Next, help your local predators by trimming down tall grass.  Rodents love to hide out in tall grass.  Cut it down and they’ll have no refuge.  Consider attracting rodent predators by building a barn owl box.  Some of you are getting smug about your cats.  Honestly, most of your lazy-ass cats wouldn’t catch a mouse if it walked up in handcuffs. We caught five mice total before word hit the street that we weren’t messing around and the rest of the crew moved on down the way to the next opportunity.  For over a month now – not a trace – nothing. 

 

 

Sunday with Mice

So I moved up into this amazing house, but it has a crazy mouse problem and it is freaking me the fuck out.  I ain’t dirty; this is a preexisting problem exacerbated by a deeply-wooded environment.  We’ve caught three so far.  I don’t do dead body removal.  That task, along with all waste removal, falls on my more noble half.  Even the faintest noise has me jumping out of my skin at night.  Gross.  Dealing with it, but hanging by a thin thread.Now I get why people have cats.  Though right now I really wish I had a pet barn owl. 

One Nation Under Dog

You guys seen this challenging yet interesting documentary One Nation Under Dog on HBO yet?  The film takes a layered look at humankind’s relationship with canines for better and worse.  I don’t have pets for a variety of reasons: most are messy, they make it difficult to travel, and truthfully I think it is a little desperate and insecure to bribe an animal with food and shelter in exchange for unconditional love.  On the flip side, I had one close friend who said my lack of pet ownership growing up counts among my greatest character defects.  I had a horse, so he can fuck off.  Anyway, One Nation Under Dog only reinforces my belief that pet ownership is often more selfish than selfless. While memorable and heartbreaking (prepare for dead puppies), the documentary leaves room for you to form your own impression and opinion.  Whether you love dogs or hate them, don’t miss this exceptional movie. 

fuck cats

Cat lovers scroll on through.  I’m about to go on an anti-cat rant that’s going to make your pussy hurt. (Michael, Katie, I mean it.)  Why am I filled with feline vitriol you ask?  Because I spent the day bleach mopping cat piss out of sub-flooring, that’s why.  WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH CAT PISS ANYWAY?I know, I know, you love your cat.  Your cat does for you what no person could.  I get it.  Do you get that when cats get old they piss everywhere and it is FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to remove the smell?  Do you realize a nuclear apocalypse would not eradicate that stank of cat pee from your apartment?  In addition to destroying your home with their incontinence, cats can transmit diseases and parasites to people including, but not limited to: Toxoplasmosis, Leptospira, the Plague, Rabies, roundworm, hookworm, ringworm, Salmonella, and tapeworm.  Yeah, keep letting kitty climb all over your kitchen.  Add a side order of tapeworm to that PB&J. As you all know, I’m a staunch defender of our animal friends.  I don’t eat or wear them.  But I also don’t keep any pets for a variety of reasons.  Do I really hate cats?  No.  Do I really hate irresponsible dirty-ass cat owners?  Fuck yes.  And while I’m getting up after all you pet owners, dog people CLEAN UP FIDO’S SHIT.  Why don’t I take a dump on your lawn?  How about that?  Fucking gross yo.