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I met up with this tortoise in the hall today. He stared me down. I let him pass.
A few weeks ago I posted about a friend I offended. Recently, she and I had an honest talk and buried the proverbial hatchet. During the conversation, she admitted that one of her standard responses to conflict was to just cut the person off completely. She had considered such a response to our situation, but thankfully felt sadness at the idea of us not talking again. This got me thinking. When should you cut somebody off and when should you graciously forgive?
I keep a very tight-knit coven comprised of a select group. You are either in or you are out. I do not take shit. But I am forgiving. I’ve had friends drift in and out of the circle over the years. When someone approaches me with sincere contrition, my compassion won’t let me hold a grudge. Most friendship offenses I can forgive and forget. There are major exceptions to this rule. Betrayal breaks us. Publicly embarrass me more than once and you’re out. I can’t with the raging Narcissists anymore. If you’re a bigot, a liar, a thief, or suffer some other sort of basic fundamental character flaw than you would never make it into my inner-circle anyway. The lengthy application process and a number of time-honored tests weed out the weak and unworthy.Almost everything else, I eventually let go. Small infractions, petty grievances, thoughtless comments, who among us isn’t guilty of saying or doing something stupid? Major life events like death, divorce, and disease deserve MAJOR friendship leeway. Empathy looks good on everyone. I offer my friends the same grace I wish to receive in response to my less graceful moments. I rely on them to steer me straight when I veer off course.
In my humble experience (which includes relationships that span 25+ years), the friendships that last are the ones that are allowed to morph, change, and grow with the people involved. Over a lifetime, friendships may include periods of great intimacy or estrangement, but true pals are always welcomed back into the fold.
I have a friend who takes baths in hotels, and not high-end ones either. The kind where it is likely someone OD’d in the bathtub.I have friends who lock their pets away all day and then accuse me of “not being an animal person.” At least I didn’t have one for lunch, and there isn’t one locked away in a tiny dark room in my house like the Devil’s Issue in Flowers in the Attic. I have a friend with 7 figures in the bank who won’t spring for a 4 day dress rental for a black tie event.I have a friend who claims to want to visit an Indian ashram, but complains about carrying her yoga mat around Telluride.
…you’ve enjoyed a Reed’s Ginger Brew. …you’ve played duck, duck, goose with some kids in the yard. …you’ve plunged in feet first.…you’ve experienced gridlock. …you’ve been bitten by a mosquito. …you’ve enjoyed a drink outdoors.
…you’ve attended a wedding.
This super cute baby skunk got stuck in a window well. It has been so hot and I was worried the little thing would die. First, I lowered water down in a cup so it could drink. Then I fretted how to free my little friend without subjecting myself to nature’s version of tear gas. I selected a couple spare pieces of scrap wood to create an escape bridge for my black & white buddy. The boards seen here didn’t quite cut it. I upgraded to a wider, thicker, rougher option, softened the angle of the incline, and put a blanket on top so skunkie could climb to freedom. I sweetened the trail with cat food to lure it up and out of its accidentally self-imposed cement cage. By the way, if a skunk enters your realm and gets stuck, don’t expect animal control to help. Most will refer skunk cases to private pest control. I was worried sick about my little terrified pal, but with patience and the right tools it made its way home. Thank gawd, because I would not have been able to deal with a dead baby skunk. Nope. Not at all.
I confess I hate Las Vegas. It is not the town for the pragmatic or the vegetarian, so there are two strikes against me right there. However, after recently seeking out Veggie House, I now have a reason to look forward to refueling in the (cultural) desert.
In the ancient tradition of vegetarian Chinese cooking, Veggie House serves some of the best mock meat for miles. Veggie House offers an extensive menu of cruelty-free seafood, beef, and chicken. Enjoy the crispy “beef” and save the sweetfaced cow.
Veggie House is truly a vegetarian oasis in one of the world’s most unrelentingly carnivorous cities. Located in Chinatown, it will also get your uncultured ass off that gawd awful soul-less strip.
Each winter, humpback whales come to the warm waters off the coast of Hawaii to breed, birth, and nurture their calves. At one time, perhaps only a thousand thrived, but recent conservation efforts have resulted in a population boom. Now more than twenty thousand whales are thought to take the long journey down from their Alaskan feeding waters to enjoy the Hawaiian channels. There is not really any food for the adult whales in the crystal clear blue waters, so their time in Hawaii is a bit like whale Ramadan.They are literally everywhere this time of year, especially off the coast of Maui. If you want a relatively close look, a boat is best, but you can see them easily from shore. I was practicing yoga on the beach and a few friendly humpbacks came over and waved good morning.With whale watching comes whale tales. Folks just LOVE to talk about their super-close whale encounters. Some of those stories are true, but most are wildly exaggerated. I personally don’t need to ride a whale to feel as if I’ve had the experience. Maintain a respectful distance.
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