It’s that time of year again, the weather is warm and all the dog owners have their canines on parade. Other than shitting everywhere and the occasional mauling, I have no real problem with dogs. Their owners, well that’s another story. I have a friend who compulsively pets every dog she sees. Hiking with this girl can take an extra minute depending on how many dogs we encounter. I understand dog people meet each other this way, but I don’t want to pet your dog. When I don’t bend down to gush, owners look at me like I’m calling their firstborn child retarded. Today, this girl had her puppy leashed to the fence during lunch – obviously baiting us with puppy cuteness. She acted annoyed when people “interrupted” her to fuss over her adorable babydog. You’re the one rolling one puppy deep on a sunny Saturday you attention-seeking bitch. Eyeroll. Back in college, I had this dumbass friend Marisha who was wandering around the city one hot summer day. A dog was locked inside a car with the windows cracked. Well-meaning Marisha, concerned for the pup, administered water from her plastic water bottle through the window crack. During the attempted hydrating, the ungrateful twatdog bit her hand. Moral of the story: other people’s dogs aren’t for you.
And pick up your pooch poo.
I met up with this tortoise in the hall today. He stared me down. I let him pass.
A few weeks ago I posted about a friend I offended. Recently, she and I had an honest talk and buried the proverbial hatchet. During the conversation, she admitted that one of her standard responses to conflict was to just cut the person off completely. She had considered such a response to our situation, but thankfully felt sadness at the idea of us not talking again. This got me thinking. When should you cut somebody off and when should you graciously forgive?
I keep a very tight-knit coven comprised of a select group. You are either in or you are out. I do not take shit. But I am forgiving. I’ve had friends drift in and out of the circle over the years. When someone approaches me with sincere contrition, my compassion won’t let me hold a grudge. Most friendship offenses I can forgive and forget. There are major exceptions to this rule. Betrayal breaks us. Publicly embarrass me more than once and you’re out. I can’t with the raging Narcissists anymore. If you’re a bigot, a liar, a thief, or suffer some other sort of basic fundamental character flaw than you would never make it into my inner-circle anyway. The lengthy application process and a number of time-honored tests weed out the weak and unworthy.Almost everything else, I eventually let go. Small infractions, petty grievances, thoughtless comments, who among us isn’t guilty of saying or doing something stupid? Major life events like death, divorce, and disease deserve MAJOR friendship leeway. Empathy looks good on everyone. I offer my friends the same grace I wish to receive in response to my less graceful moments. I rely on them to steer me straight when I veer off course.
In my humble experience (which includes relationships that span 25+ years), the friendships that last are the ones that are allowed to morph, change, and grow with the people involved. Over a lifetime, friendships may include periods of great intimacy or estrangement, but true pals are always welcomed back into the fold.
I have a friend who takes baths in hotels, and not high-end ones either. The kind where it is likely someone OD’d in the bathtub.I have friends who lock their pets away all day and then accuse me of “not being an animal person.” At least I didn’t have one for lunch, and there isn’t one locked away in a tiny dark room in my house like the Devil’s Issue in Flowers in the Attic. I have a friend with 7 figures in the bank who won’t spring for a 4 day dress rental for a black tie event.I have a friend who claims to want to visit an Indian ashram, but complains about carrying her yoga mat around Telluride.
…you’ve enjoyed a Reed’s Ginger Brew. …you’ve played duck, duck, goose with some kids in the yard. …you’ve plunged in feet first.…you’ve experienced gridlock. …you’ve been bitten by a mosquito. …you’ve enjoyed a drink outdoors.
…you’ve attended a wedding.
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