Tag Archives: Armani Prive

Global Disappointment

JLAW PHOTOBOMBThe Golden Globes fashion was so utterly weak sauce it isn’t worth the duplicative discussion to go ballsdeep in an indepth review.  Lesbihonest, it’s a particularly bleak year when a pregnant woman steals the fashion show.  No offense expectants.OLIVIA WILDE GUCCIEven though she looks like a sexy swamp creature, Olivia Wilde wore this Gucci with a great deal of confidence.  REESE WITHERSPOON CALVIN KLEINAlso slightly less ratchet than the other chickens was Reese Witherspoon in Calvin Klein.  Yes, it is a simple dress, but it fits and the color suits her.  My primary critique is that the head-to-toe look reads too summery for January.  Lastly, I can rarely despise anything about Cate Blanchett especially her incredible back displayed in Armani Prive. BLANCHETT

The worst dressed was pretty much everybody else.  Such Bad Choices.

WORST GG 2014 ROWI know everyone’s dick is hard for Lupita Nyong’o in the caped Ralph Lauren, but this dress is basically Gwyneth’s white Tom Ford number in red.  I’m over it Little Red Riding Hood.   LUPITA GLOBESBAD GG 2014 FASHIONMORE BAD GLOBES FASHION 2014

 

OSCARS 2013: wake me when it’s over

I commence this year’s Oscar fashion criticism frenzy with Kelly Osbourne in Tony Ward Couture because this is the dress I stared at longest and ultimately found most controversially interesting among a thicket of bland and boring looks. Was Charlize exquisite in Dior Haute Couture?  I guess.  Is it memorable?  No.  Am I bored?  Very.  Is she serving a little Sharon Stone with that hair and smirk?  Yes. Aniston possesses a rare talent for making Valentino look like the Macy’s Prom Collection.  Stand up straight bitch. This tin-tittied mess is Anne Hathaway in Prada.  Nobody noticed the diamonds, that’s for sure. When I see Halle Berry in this Versace, I want to pronounce it VersayceI despise everything about Amanda Seyfried in this Alexander McQueen: the bridesmaid hair, the pageant pose, and the washed out non-color of the firefly patterned gown. Jessica Chastain has truly never looked better in impeccably-tailored spiderweb Armani.  I don’t love Melissa McCarthy in this ill-fitting David Meister, but I will always love Melissa McCarthyJennifer Lawrence lacks a style identity.  I suspect Dior hands her a dress and she obediently wears it. One of the best dressed of the evening, Octavia Spencer looks fantastic in this soft pink Tadashi Shoji.A wrinkled mess, Kerry Washington served some sorbet Miu Miu.  It’s too long, no?I don’t get dead-eyed Kristen Stewart in Reem Acra.  I know she makes some bitches swoon, but to me she is not everything.  Can she close her mouth?  What’s up with her constant open mouth?  It’s creepy.This Louis Vuitton just doesn’t fit Reese Witherspoon, and the fabric isn’t modern. Nicole Kidman wore L’Wren Scott and I think we can agree it was a decent choice for her.  It’s a little fussy for my personal taste, but she wears it well and looks luminous. Let’s finish with the couples: Naomi Watts wore Armani PrivéArmani far and away fit the best dresses of the night.  Ben & Jen, she in Gucci, but it doesn’t matter what she wears because nothing pops on this girl.

 

emmy 2011 style review: red, wrong, and blue

The best and worst of the A-list: Kate Winslet in Elie Saab and Gwyneth Paltrow in PucciGwyneth’s face looks better than it has in a while, but the dress is confusing and wrong.  A transparent midriff, really G?Another disappointing turn for Katie Holmes in Calvin Klein Collection.  Bad fit, uninspired color, and boring shoes combined to create another dud for Mrs. CruiseEvan Rachel Wood provided a refreshing relief from the onslaught of red in an immaculately tailored Elie Saab.

Hate to say Christina Hendricks looked unnecessarily big in an embellished Johanna Johnson gown.  The open toe and low heeled shoe makes her legs appear chunky.  A darker tressed Elisabeth Moss stayed in the same color family as her co-star in a pinky-nudish Marchesa adorned with shimmering vines.  Damn, I miss Mad Men.Let’s get the Glee bitches out of the way: self-important Lea Michele vamping for the flashbulbs in Marchesa, Jenna Ushkowitz in an architectural Ghadah Paris, and Diana Agron in Roskanda Ilinic. Naya Rivera’s chic, black, subtly-detailed gown made Heather Morris‘ selection look fussy by comparison. Colfer proves that photographically satin betrays both genders.  Darren Criss showed up his more well-known cast mate in a slender suit by John Varvatos. Of the hostesses, Cat Deeley didn’t embarrass herself or wow in Monique L’Huillier.  I question the clutch choice with this particular gown.  Even with ample style resources, Padma Lakshmi in Armani Privé and Heidi Klum in Christian Siriano reinforce the notion that most models can’t dress themselves worth a shit. You would think that the Fashion Police might dress a skosh more fashionably, right?  Giuliana wore a crimson Cavalli which got lost in the sea of red gowns.  Kelly Osbourne did a bit better in plum J. Mendel.  However, for someone who regularly critiques others for failing to make fashion forward choices, this safe dress felt more Lea Michele than Kelly Osbourne.  Though let’s face it, none of these third tier hangers-on get first pick of the best gowns. Prettier than most ladies, how about a little Mario Lopez palette cleanser?  Werk those dimples son. Joel McHale also looked dapper and fresh in his icy tux coat. Not much better than that dreadful Wonder Woman costume, Adrianne Palicki arrived in anti-photogenic satin.  Super likable Connie Britton looked lovely in a deeper shade of the night’s most favored hue.  For a woman her age, the face and body are damn aspirational and underrated. Minka’s old lady Christian Dior underscored the impact of Galliano’s departure on the house.  This gown isn’t going to give Jeter any regrets.   Usually Claire does Narciso or Calvin Klein; instead she went in a different direction with this flashy Oscar de la Renta gown.  The perennially overrated Emily Blunt donned Elie SaabElie Saab provided many of the evening’s strongest looks, but this wasn’t one of them.  Why does she always have that just-ate-a-canary mug on her face?Julie Bowen did de la Renta this year and kept the accessories minimal.  Sofia Vergara rocked Wang (Vera not Alexander, obviously).  Don’t match the lipstick to the dress please.For comics,  Kristen Wiig impressed in ombre Zac Posen, and Amy Poehler rocked Peter Som.  Her dress was featured right here on Demeter Clarc in the best of blue for Fall 2011 RTW.

Pint-sized Nina Dobrev was swallowed whole by bloodshot Donna Karan.   Hate the necklace too.  Margulies‘ unseasonable white Armani Privé evoked Styrofoam cup. Let’s finish strong and severe with Game of Thrones actress Lena Headey in Alessandra Rich.  A different bag and belt could have catapulted her from an eight to a ten.  The fantastic Christine Baranski served a seasonally appropriate dark blue Zac Posen and outshone many attendees half her age.

interesting updos

FALL FASHION 2010: COATS

FALL FASHION 2010: GOWNS

Metallics remain a strong trend for evening this Fall.

Strong shoulders keep the silhouette tough for autumn nights.

Epitomize glamour with (faux) fur over a drapey gown.

Fabric, colors, and patterns usually relegated to spring made their way onto the runway.

Unusual plums and purples look fresh.

Shimmering columns with interesting detail surfaced at Ferretti and Gaultier.

Black or white at Derek Lam.