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…order whatever the fuck you want.…wear the uncomfortable shoes that make your legs look amazing. …serve a level of swagger that elicits looks of jaw-dropping jealously or desire.…tip generously.
…push up against a wall.
Is there anyone on Earth more sublime than Naomi Campbell? Luo Zilin, who you surely remember from Naomi’s Top Model knock-off The Face, learned the hard way this week that you do not fuck with Miss Campbell. After Luo was caught frolicking in Ibiza with Campbell’s ex Vlad Doronin, Naomi blacklisted that ungrateful bitch from the fashion world. I wish Naomi Campbell offered an apprenticeship in bitchery. I too would like to learn how to shank bitches at such an elite and international level.
Seen Girl Code? MTV has finally rolled out something worth watching. Even though Girl Code is paced for the attention span of the modern twelve year old, many of the insights and practical advice transcend age. The show is light, funny, occasionally informative, and provides an important platform for young female comics. Jessimae Peluso will be a star. Watching the RHOC has become an exercise in the grotesque. Need we even discuss Vicki’s face? I guess I do. Instead of the chin implant she should have had her double chin removed and her neck tightened. Gretchen totally fucked up her once lovely face with those lip injections. This show would be so much more interesting if Bravo dropped all these mutilated bitches and just focused on Lydia’s awesome fairy-dusting stoner mom Judy.
I’m fucking obsessed with Frankie Rose. You may know her from her other projects Crystal Stilts, Dum Dum Girls, and the Vivian Girls.
Her recent solo release Interstellar is sublime. Someone else somewhere compared the album structure to Disintegration, and I have to agree that there are definite similarities between the two records. That’s not to say Rose’s Interstellar is derivative in the least bit unlike many, many, many, many artists inspired by The Cure. Couple of my favorite songs ~ Know Me and Pair of Wings, but listen to the whole collection of songs as a complete thought because it is absolutely excellent from top to bottom. Catch Frankie on tour with Real Estate this summer.
As I mentioned last week, I’m doing an intensive training this month. I’m sleep deprived and bitter. “The Guru” requires us to wear color.
For this particular activity, black is better. I actually had to go purchase some bright-ass pants for the demanding despot. I hope that taking the assignment to the extreme will demonstrate how it is truly asinine to micro-manage grown folks’ clothing choices. I bought some obnoxiously loud options and plan to assemble them together in a truly shocking fashion. My intended theme is Deviant Rainbow Bright.
Just in case you think I’m being cynical, the very day after the color mandate was laid down, a table full of expensive colorful clone clothing magically appeared for sale. What needles me most is that she and her assistants do dress brightly, but they all dress exactly the same. The theme? Conforming non-conformity. Let’s all dress outrageously different, but exactly the same out of some fucked up misplaced allegiance to our tribe leader. Pass me the Kook-Aid.
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