Tag Archives: Black Friday

Boycott Black Friday

Is it me, or did the Black Friday propaganda machine work overtime this year?  The more hysterical and bombastic the marketing campaigns became, the more I dug into my commitment to buy absolutely nothing on the national day of accumulation. Here are a few more productive ways to spend your day then beating a bitch over a HDTV at Best BuySince you ate 3 days worth of food in one sitting yesterday, why don’t you move your ass?  Hike, bike, skip, or strut in the opposite direction of the mall.  Show visiting guests your neighborhood by foot.  Walk the dog.  Collect firewood.  Rollerskate. Catch up on new music as you clean your house.  Stow the remnants of fall and prepare for winter.  Declutter and donate.  Rotate the wardrobe.Marathon a show you’ve been meaning to watch.  HomelandAmerican Horror StoryDownton Abbey. Or my personal favorite as of late, Made in Chelsea.  Many of you work hard and actually deserve several hours of lazying about without judgment.  Enjoy a day making homemade gifts for the holidays as a healthy “fuck you” to consumerism.  Rather than spending, can you repurpose and improve shit into something you want to keep or give? 

Read a beautiful book from cover to cover.

 

Black Friday Bloat

Between the drinking, pre-meal snacking, dinner, and dessert, on average each American consumes between 3,000 – 4,500 calories on Thanksgiving.  To put it in perspective, there are 3,500 calories in a pound.  Can America really afford to gain another collective pound? 

Here are some non-shopping options for creative calorie cremation this Black Friday.  Sex + Orgasm = approximately 200 calories burned, depending on ferocity.Watching 1 hour of bad reality TV requires approximately 60 calories.1 hour of power vinyasa yoga melts 500 calories.

Bickering for an hour torches at least 100 calories.  Even more if your arguments are intense and full of grand of gesticulations.

Vigorous cleaning burns 225 calories an hour.  Don’t deny the house could use a once over.