Tag Archives: blueberry muffins

She Doesn’t Want Flowers

CAR WASHWash and gas the car.CLEAN BATHROOMClean the bathroom.MCGHEE BABYPrint and frame a photo.TORRES CHOCOLATEProcure the high-quality chocolate. MUFFINS IN BEDBreakfast in bed; blueberry muffins please.COUPLES YOGAPractice yoga together.WASH THE BEDLaunder the bedding.FUCKING HIPSTERS


Listen. Read. Snack.

DAFT PUNK RANDOM ACCESS MEMORIESEven though sometimes listening to Daft Punk feels a like a serenade from an ATM machine, I admit that I must unabashedly break into car dance everytime I hear Instant Crush featuring Julian Casablancas from Random Access Memories. CAR DANCEG-sus, Meg Wolitzer turns a memorable and meaty phrase in The InterestingsMEG WOLITZERFLAX4LIFE MUFFSWho doesn’t love a muffy in the morning?  These tough muffs look like something geriatrics eat to stay regular, but I love these hearty, rib-sticking, omega-filled Flax4Life Blueberry Flax Muffins.  Unlike most commercial baked goods, these not-too-sweet slow burners will tied you over until lunch.FLAX4LIFE MUFFIN


Monday’s Muffin

Who doesn’t love a Muffin Monday?  Save yourself the expense – both monetarily and calorically – by avoiding the glass cases and bake your own reasonably nutritious and tasty muffs.  I promise you this ain’t no GOOP shit.  We’re just jshooshing up a box recipe for real.  I like the Krusteaz Fat Free Wild Blueberry mix because you don’t need to add anything but water.  In a pinch, this mix is super easy and crowd-pleasing without further embellishment.  But if you want your muffins to be more, and I know you do, consider these simple additions.

Chia Seeds

Chia seeds are one of those annoyingly ubiquitous health food items that everyone with a mason jar must have to perfect their temple.  And yeah, we are talking about the same stuff from the sprouting Chia Pet commercials, “Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia.” Rich in Omega-3, manganese, calcium, and phosphorus these seeds will also add some fiber to your muffins without fucking up the texture. 

Multiply and Diversify the Berries

The puny limp-dick berries in that little sad tin scream box mix.  Add some fresh blubes, blackberries, or any kind of berry you like hunny.  More berries = a more magnificent Muffin Monday.  

Cinnamon Sugar Topping

For some muffy glamour, create a sparkly crunchy top.  Mix cinnamon and sugar together and sprinkle on top of your muffins before baking.  I can’t defend the sugar, but we all know cinnamon has a number of valuable anti-cancer and blood-sugar stabilizing properties.  This step adds an interesting textural difference that makes for memorable Monday Muffins.