Across the coast in NYC, Rachel’s first stop was L.A.M.B for a little pow-wow with Gwen Stefani. Zoe undulated over the clothes, but Gwen maintained her distance and even gave a little cut eye. 
Stefani modeled this dope coat. L.A.M.B. is okay except for their tendency to recapitulate the same trends: plaid, leather, zoot suit. Also, you really need to be at least 5’7″ to wear her wide leg pants or risk drowning.
After her meeting with Gwen, Rachel got a call from Naomi Campbell who requested that she pull 90-100 looks for Fashion for Relief Haiti scheduled to open Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week 72 hours later. Despite the short-notice, Rachel of course agreed – nobody says no to Mz. Campbell.
The huge project meant Brad had to hop the first flight to NYC to help Rachel throw together the benefit. Through flurries, Rachel arrived at the Haiti for Relief production offices and surveyed the pitiful clothing selection. The snowy weather caused the whole city to grind to a halt, and the samples weren’t exactly pouring in. 
Brad pled, begged, and blackberried every contact he had in the industry with virtually no results. Rachel tried to put together outfits with the meager pickings, but without accessories, shoes, or a wide variety of clothes, the looks were more Filene’s Basement than Fendi.
Brad’s frustrating lack of urgency panicked Rachel even further. Nobody wants to be at the receiving end of Naomi Campbell’s dragon fire, and Rachel should be skerred since Naomi could crack her open like crème brûlée.
Rachel complained to Brad about the lack of clothes, and in turn Brad kvetched to the others about being on Rachel’s shit list. A minion asked Brad if he’d contacted Jimmy Choo, and he responded, “Let’s do Choo!” No fucking shit dumbass. You’ve been sitting around all fucking day creasing your brow and whining about not having shoes, and it didn’t occur to you to call Jimmy Fucking Choo? Brad is officially useless.
Naomi rolled in and doled out “hellos” mistakenly calling Brad “Brian,” as he turned bright red with embarrassment and fear. Naomi surveyed the scene and immediately freaked out at the shortage. Brad tried to serve Naomi excuses, but she wasn’t having it, arguing he should have brought any problems to her attention sooner. Duck Brad!
Overnight, the news of Alexander McQueen’s untimely demise broke, and this cast a dark shadow over all of fashion week. To honor him, Naomi planned to add a small McQueen tribute to the end of the Fashion for Relief runway show.
One of the models, Ralph Plaisimond, a Haitian, was in the country during the earthquake. As he told of his experience, Rachel couldn’t cope with anything beyond the superficial, so she departed to self-soothe in the other room. Proving once again white people suck, Rachel launched into a racist diatribe claiming she’s always been “obsessed” with Haitians (like Haitians are the new must-have Chanel bag), before turning to Brad and pawing a rack bragging, “they are all Giamba…”
The next day, looks started pouring in. This was more likely a result of Naomi connections than Brad’s hustle, but either way the influx saved Brad’s ass.
On the morning of the show, Rachel hurried to order the looks and finish the fittings while Brad wandered around aimlessly, failing to take charge of the chaos backstage. Despite the general disorganization, the models managed to execute the extremely complicated task of getting dressed and walking down the runway. In the end, the show came together and was surprisingly not a total clusterfuck.
The show closed with a tribute to King McQueen where everyone choked up at the loss of a true genius. The void he left will never be filled. We love and admire you always Alexander.
The changes at Camp Zoe precipitated a shopping trip to cleanse Taylor’s energy with “new looks.” Rachel settled on “glam rock,” and Brad was pressured into “lesbian DJ chic.” In reality, Zoe served bony Fraggle, and Brad gave us last year’s Eurotrash.
Once the new looks were procured, attention turned to dressing the 2010 Golden Globe attendees: Kate Hudson, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Garner, and possibly Paula Patton.
Brad welcomed Ashley to her first day at the Zoe asylum. His very first words of advice were a cryptic warning to watch out for Taylor when she’s out pulling styles for the Globes.
Rachel planned on an architectural Marchesa for Kate Hudson. Even though she already had it in a bold and unique berry flavor, she insisted on getting it remade in white. For Cameron, Rachel and Brad eyed a red cap-sleeved McQueen gown. Garner apparently had a dress boner for some lilac (looked grey) beaded Versace that still needed to be lined. Four attendees and no confirmed dresses sent Rachel into an unnecessary fit of anxiety. She ordered an immediate edit, dividing the great from the mediocre on the racks.
Ashley tried to add her opinion, but her input was drowned out by Rachel and Brad’s “so mayjahs!” While rolling in the racks, Paula Patton was confirmed as an attendee, and Rachel immediately delegated dressing her to the newbie Ashley. Crystal Gayle-haired Ashley stopped by Starworks to collect wardrobe options for Paula Patton. She pulled tent after shapeless tent for the pregnant Paula; none of it looking particularly Globe-worthy.
Rachel obsessed over some Versace gown that she had only peeped in a sketch. From the sketch alone, it was obvious this dress was totally inappropriate for the Globes and Cameron Diaz. Why would Cameron Diaz wear a long-sleeved grey granny gown to the Globes? The sacred dress was accidentally handed off to the wrong courier at the hotel, and Team Zoe lost their proverbial shit trying to find it. Finally Lucio, Versace’s rep, called with the news that the dress had taken a sojourn to Malibu to visit Pierce Brosnan, but had been located and was on its way. As soon as it arrived, wrinkled, grey, long-sleeved, and matte, it was abundantly clear that the dress would never work. After all the unnecessary drama, Rachel dismissed the dress and Lucio with a squint eye and flip of the hand.
During Brad’s extra homosexual pilates lesson, he had an epiphany that he should encourage Ashley to speak up and voice her opinion. When Ashley arrived the next morning, Brad explained that he brings the gay man’s perspective, but Ashley needed to vocalize the female perspective because he did not wear women’s clothes. Really Brad?
Brad broke the news to Rachel that Taylor is dressing a producer for the Golden Globes. Rachel soured at the notion and then announced she was too busy taking the high road. She told Rodger, “I hate the high road.” If this is Rachel taking the high road, what does it look like when she rolls in the gutter? 
Brad called Rachel and informed her that the dress they pulled for Cammie was from Alexander McQueen Autumn/Winter 09. Rachel declared this unacceptable, even though any stylist worth her Gucci would know what collection that McQueen came from the minute it entered the showroom. Even if it is “archive,” if it hasn’t been photographed, who gives a fuck? 
Zoe favorite Molly Sims stopped by to collect looks for the Art of Elysium and InStyle parties. Molly declared, “I’m not nominated, I’m not presenting…” No shit you aren’t nominated or presenting. Seriously, who did you blow to even get invited? Sims hung all over “Bradley,” and whirled around the studio slipping in and out of gowns. One of the most frustrating things about this show is that they never pick the best look! This was the best look.
However, this ill-fitting, blue, upholstered Ports 1961 mess was selected for Art of Elysium, and a shapeless Marchesa tent for the Globes party. We all know you are trying to get into Weinstein’s good graces, but please stop trying to make Marchesa happen. Wearing Marchesa to the Globes is like wearing Jessica McClintock to prom.
Bieber-haired Rodger tried to get reacquainted with his nutsack by watching the playoffs with the boys. In a hyper display of masculinity, Rodger scooped up his friend’s baby, cradled it gently, and insisted on taking a picture and sending it to Rachel.
Rain clouds gathered, and this sent Team Zoe into a tizzy, declaring the weather “not fair” and a “nightmare!” The idea of her clients encumbered by holding up their gowns and the money shots cluttered with umbrellas caused Rachel to dub the entire event a “fashion disaster!”
Team Zoe gathered on the couch to see the attendees work the carpet. First Cam in the red McQueen: this is a gorgeous dress, but we can agree that these are the wrong shoes. As you already know, red lips with a red dress is a no-no; a softer lip was needed to avoid looking garish. 
We’ve been waiting to get the dish on the Taylor and Rachel blow up, and the season three premiere of The Rachel Zoe Project wasted no time in addressing the splinter. 
At the end of last season, Rodger stepped in to handle the books. Rodger broke the news to Rachel that Taylor didn’t really give a fuck when confronted over sketchy expense reports. As a result, he let her go. Rachel lied to Rodger constantly about her spending last season. If the expense reports were sketchy, he should start his inquiries with her. 
In typical Zoe fashion, Rachel completely overreacted, unable to accept that she had been betrayed by her “blessed jewel.” Rachel, have you met Taylor? Furthermore, is this your first day in the styling industry? Fashion is a cruel mistress filled with bitter backstabbing bitches. Anybody with staying power learns early: trust no one.
Brad, Jordan, and Marisa showed up for a staff meeting so Rodger could break the news that was already splattered all over the internet: Taylor was no longer with the company. Rachel implored her lackeys to recover every sample and shred of company property in Taylor’s possession.
Simultaneously, Brad looked ebullient with his promotion to Style Director and terrified at the realization that he would now have to run this ship without Captain Taylor Bitchface. No surprise that the preeminent assignment for Team Zoe was to find a replacement for Taylor.
Rachel and Rodger interviewed a series of under-qualified, inarticulate candidates, none of which appear to have the fashion knowledge, personal style, or constitution to replace Taylor. Despite Taylor’s obvious flaws, she clearly ran thangs over at Camp Zoe. Rachel spins like a well-dressed Muppet on a dradle, but appears to accomplish very little other than to sycophantically gush and twirl.
Brad and Rachel flipped through look books searching for high-fashion editorial looks for Demi’s Bazaar cover. Both expressed anxiety over pleasing Kutcher’s piece since she had previously worked almost exclusively with Taylor. 
At the Bazaar shoot, Rachel pulled Chanel, Oscar de la Renta, Alexander McQueen, Dior, and some mayjah red sequined Wizard of Oz Louboutins. However, watching a fifty-something Demi Moore unironically play coquettish housewife conjured the chunder. Also, the hair is off in this shot, no?
Finally, the much-anticipated Marc Jacobs bloomer outfit arrived, albeit without the necessary undergarments. Instead of employing actual creative styling talent and reworking the look, the incomplete outfit caused Rachel to nix the ensemble entirely in favor of a Carolina Herrera gown. Work that bustle Demi!
The mundane shoot got an immediate upgrade with the appearance of the giraffe. Demi climbed a stairway to the sky where she looked eye to eye with the gorgeous creature. While feeding the giraffe atop twelve inch McQueen platforms, Demi nearly tumbled head over stilts. In the struggle between the giraffe and Demi, frankly, I was pulling for the giraffe. Imagine a subscriber cover with Demi Moore face-planted in the sand? That would move magazines. 
To wrap the episode on an especially spiteful final note, Rachel set images of Taylor from Paper ablaze in the fireplace. The article stated that Taylor was no longer with Rachel Zoe. Parsing for subtext here, the inference is that Taylor planned to leave all along, and Paper Magazine knew it before Rachel did.
Her haze of self-perceived victimization prevented Rachel from adequately acknowledging Taylor’s huge contribution to the Rachel Zoe name, aesthetic, and business. Through her skewed, self-absorbed perspective, Rachel failed to recognize that Taylor walked away with nothing except bad press, whereas she has benefited, and will continue to benefit from years of Taylor’s hard work. To add insult to injury, Rachel utilized her show as a platform from which to defame Taylor and limit her future professional prospects. If Taylor is a backstabbing bitch, it’s just because Rachel has taught her everything she knows.