Bravo’s Online Dating Rituals of the American Male perfectly illustrates why I will never internet date. These guys are fucking losers. They constantly check dating profiles and message hundreds of women with lame cut+paste opening lines. For these jackholes, it’s a numbers game. Throw everything against the wall and see what sticks. When one of the hundreds of women agrees to show up for a date, the asshole immediately ridicules her appearance (in his head and sometimes out loud). That’s probably because the woman misleadingly labeled her scantily clad, out-of-date, best-lit profile pics as “model” or “aspiring actress.” Dudes who rely on the internet to meet women are pathetic cowards. Too afraid of rejection to truly put themselves out there, they would rather use their computer for easy hook-ups. Some dumbass women believe the guy spent hundreds of hours sifting through online profiles until he found HER and then he thought EUREKA she’s the one! When in reality, he’s messaged 23 other girls that night and she was just the first to respond. He probably has a second one lined up if she seems unwilling to put out after a couple rounds of cheap happy hour drinks. With unrelenting optimism, these women will apparently date anyone. I know this because my ex’s best friend is a chubby, smelly, unattractive, uninteresting hunched back who trolls the internet for hook-ups at least 3 times a week. Why anyone would EVER hook up with him (or my lemming ex or any of his stunted loser friends for that matter) is fucking beyond me. The hunchbacked troll would NEVER have the balls to approach you in real life because he is a spineless pussy. Do you want to spend your life in pussy purgatory? No, I didn’t think so. Delete your profile and hold out for a real life human encounter. I recently got asked out on a date. Whether it goes anywhere or not, at least I know he contemplated asking me out several weeks before he finally worked up the courage to ask. The investment of time and energy means something. Bravery matters. Hold out for the Knight. Don’t settle for fleeting encounters with the Troll.