Tag Archives: Bridesmaids

Bachelorette

I wanted to enjoy Bachelorette, but it really isn’t that funny, daring, clever, or interesting.  What Kirsten Dunst is doing in this movie, I don’t know.  Did she think it would be amusing to follow Melancholia with this low-budget romp?  Actually, I preferred this movie to Melanch0lia, but that is only because I utterly despised that pretentious tedious Lars von Trier mess. The first problem was the criminal under-use of Rebel Wilson.  We don’t need such a heavy-handed Bridesmaids reference, but if you are going to drag her into the show, give her a meaty role worthy of her monster talent.  Though penned and directed by lady Leslye Headland, the movie ultimately lacks the credibility of authentically written female friendships.  These girls knew each other in high school, but don’t have much in common now other than their love of blow and fond memories of shared bathroom-stall bulimia.  The relationships lack genuine affection.  Many long-enduring female friendships go through periods of love and hate, sometimes simultaneously.  Bachelorette gets the hate part right, but that’s too simple and tidy an explanation for the messy, complicated truth of girlfriends, especially the shit that gets stirred up before one of the group gets married.  Give me a reason to care about these bulimic coke whores. I’m not suggesting you skip Bachelorette all together, but keep your expectations modest to avoid disappointment.  Skirt the hassle of the theater and view it on demand.

Sunday with Melissa McCarthy

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: The Rules of Engagement

With the New Year comes the inevitable flood of engagement announcements.  Word trickled out that boring Biel and Timberlake got engaged in Wyoming.  Always-the-bride-never-the-bridesmaid Drew Barrymore and her boyfriend Will Kopelman also allegedly agreed to marry.  Trawick recently sprung a diamond on Britney, and Matthew slid carats on Camila’s finger too.

So let’s have a chat about a proper proposal shall we?  These rules apply hetero or homo or any which way.  Here at Demeter Clarc we believe you can put your dick wherever you like as long as you do so politely.  Without further ado, the rules of engagement:

1) Do not piggyback on the excitement of another holiday.  No rings under the tree.  Don’t double down on a birthday.  Don’t plunder the thunder of another fun day because you are too damn lazy to come up with an interesting proposal.2) Don’t ever hide the ring in food.  Fucking fromage yo.  This approach is not only lazy, but also a choking hazard.  Nobody wants to wait a couple days to “pass” an engagement ring before showing friends.3) Ask a parent.  Now this is going to be a controversial position, but hear me out, okay?  Approaching the parents first is a respectful and deferential gesture.  By going to the parents prior to proposing, it provides them an opportunity to voice any concerns and feel heard.  Now maybe you don’t want to hear what they have to say?  Well, hear this; the parents will have their say one way or another.  Either give them the opportunity early on or hear the truth after they get three cocktails deep into the engagement party.4) Don’t hijack other events and turn them into your engagement party.  Yes, you must announce your engagement, but I’ve been to more than one event where a self-important, love-dazed couple decided to announce their engagement to the room at a totally non-related event.  It’s weird and kinda rude.  And it kinda means you have to invite all those people to the wedding.5) Prepare for a range of reactions.  To be totally dead honest with you, when most people inform me of their engagements I give good congratulations and best wishes, but inside I’m humming the death march to freedom’s funeral.  And I’m not even a jaded divorcee who would very much like to tell you where to shove all that bright-eyed engagement talk.

for the bride

BRIDESMAIDS

It’s hard to know where to start with Bridesmaids, the ebulliently received new comedy co-written by and staring Kristen WiigA particularly brilliant performance by Melissa McCarthy elevates the unevenly funny writing.  In fact, several cameos by talented comics pepper the movie, including one from co-writer Annie Mumolo as a panicking nervous flier. Wiig admitted on The View that the big gross-out humor scene was added just prior to shooting.  This raises questions about who exactly thought shit and puke were a necessary addition to a film about grown women in their thirties.  Despite the requisite bodily function detour, these talented ladies make the most of the juvenile tack-on. With this group of girls, wallowing isn’t allowed.  Wiig and Mumolo wisely isolated the sweetness to the baking montages and the corniness to the Wilson Phillips number.  Congratulations Ladies, Bridesmaids deserves an epic opening weekend.