Tag Archives: Busy Phillips

2012 SAG Awards: saggy nutsackery

No single attendee of the the 2012 SAG Awards snatched “best dressed” by a landslide; rather this red carpet showed subtle improvements – like Tilda Swinton in Lanvin, and not so subtle disappointments like a gawd-awful green Emily Blunt in Oscar de la RentaMany will point to Lea Michele in Versace as best dressed.  Does she look good?  Yes.  Would I be disgusted with myself to name her best dressed?  Yes.  I’m just not personally feeling this silhouette right now.  Even though certain designers are pushing this awkward tea length it’s so hard to wear, as proven by Emma Stone in Alexander McQueen. Michelle Williams wore Valentino.  From the waist up, it is magnificent.  The shoes and bracelet aren’t right.  I’m torn on the subtle asymmetrical hem.  She werks the Mia Farrow better than anyone, no?Jessica Chastain let Calvin Klein sculpt her bosom to delightful results.  One of the best of the night.  What the fuck Kristen Wiig?  Explain this deranged necklace choice.  Shame on you for ruining a Balanciaga with a bad choker. Shall we discuss the couples?  Pitt wore Balenciaga and Jolie wore a Jenny Packham gown reminiscent of a Hefty bag.  Clooney wore Armani and Keibler wore a boring black lace Marchesa.  Is the dress boring or is she?  Both?Me likey Melissa McCarthy’s drapey Badgley Mischka and Natalie Portman in Giambattista Valli too. Glenn Close went big in Zac PosenDiane Lane wasted her incredible body in David Meister. Vergara and Bowen in Marchesa and Temperely London respectively.  I’m not moved by either.Weird whites: Rose Byrne taking a risk in a jumpsuit, (p.s. Is she filming the Anna Wintour biopic with that new hair?)…Zoe Saldana wore Givenchy and it didn’t photograph well.  Viola Davis brought the twins to the party in Marchesa. Let’s end on a high note with Kyra in Pucci, though let this serve as a cautionary tale against tattoos.  The ink on the rib cheapens the look.

JANUARY 2011 HOROSCOPES

Capricorn

Some mistake your decisive confidence as dismissive, but Capricorns know what they want and aren’t waiting for anyone’s permission.  This uncompromising approach tends to alienate friends, family, and potential love interests.  Nobody’s asking you to change, and you won’t anyway.  Sailing on the Sea of Independence this year, Captain Cap unapologetically steers the ship where he or she sees fit.

Aquarius

A flurry of communication will have you checking your inbox and calendar this month.  Get selective regarding how you spend your time.  Rest is essential to protect your vulnerable immune system.  Aquarian aloofness can be off-putting, so go out of your way to bring warmth to important social interactions.

Pisces

This is the year that you must deal with all your relationship baggage.  Family and friends aren’t the issue.  Look inward and do the work, because January looks favorable for romance.  Financially, the free ride is over.  Yeah, you’re thinking, what free ride?  In four months you’ll be wishing you had it as good as you do now – recognize.

Aries

Prepare to professionally pimp your way through the first third of 2011.  Aries deserve recognition after putting in major heart through a tiring 2010.  Interpersonally, a quick fuse + a serious patience shortage = a strong likelihood that your current relationship could end if you don’t put in extra effort to resolve conflict.  Little annoyances can simmer over; don’t leave the stove unattended.

Taurus

Unresolved health issues continue to remain central, but these challenges provide loved ones the opportunity to show their devotion.  Reliable, stoic, and generous Taurus, always giving, giving, giving; now is the time to receive.  You must learn to relax and practice self-care to flourish.  Cozy down and allow others to nourish you.

Gemini

Jealous haters are out to dim your shine.  Gross.  Unless you let them goad you into some petty bullshit, the whole situation will be more personally disappointing than financially devastating.  This month’s back and forth centers on discontent in your romantic relationship.  Get grateful or get out.  Save yourself and everyone else the tortuous indecision.  Slow your roll on any major purchases or investments.

Cancer

Book a vacation online, but stay the fuck off those internet dating sites.  Consider tapping into your creative or performance talents by entering a singing, art, or cooking competition.  This could also be a good time to hone a new skill.  Save your money the next four months, so you can make a job change this summer.

Leo

The light shines all over your ass this month giving you great glow.  Non-negotiable responsibilities ground an otherwise buoyant time.  The upside?  The increased workload will be profitable.  Go ahead and gamble.  An unexpected windfall could be headed your way, lucky fucking bastard.

Virgo

Mellow is the theme of the month.  Enjoy financial stability, and a consistent, if uneventful work life.  Anticipate no major conflict on the relationship front, and maybe even the possibility of a baby.  One caution, you are not detailed-oriented and sloppiness will result in harsh consequences.  No DIY accounting, investing, or legal decisions.

Libra

Clinginess is not chic, so tone it down with the over-attachment, especially calls and texts.  Fun gatherings perk up the rest of January and these events give you a chance to show off that pretty Libra face to the whole crowd.  Employ those disciplined financial planning skills to stretch through upcoming tight spots.

Scorpio

The stressful holidays have left you spent.  You must take care of yourself or you will definitely get sick this month.  Illness and fatigue compromise your ability to channel the creative energy necessary for you to reach your highest self.  Take everything you learned last year and apply it.

Sagittarius

Extreme behavior in the past has compromised your health and it will take the first two-thirds of 2011 to get back on track.  A recent career upgrade has you feeling generous.  Know the difference between a gift and a loan; this one won’t get paid back.  Your undeniable charm will help you form an important connection, possibly romantic.  Back up the hard drive; some technical problems may be on the horizon.