Tag Archives: Calvin Klein

Global Disappointment

JLAW PHOTOBOMBThe Golden Globes fashion was so utterly weak sauce it isn’t worth the duplicative discussion to go ballsdeep in an indepth review.  Lesbihonest, it’s a particularly bleak year when a pregnant woman steals the fashion show.  No offense expectants.OLIVIA WILDE GUCCIEven though she looks like a sexy swamp creature, Olivia Wilde wore this Gucci with a great deal of confidence.  REESE WITHERSPOON CALVIN KLEINAlso slightly less ratchet than the other chickens was Reese Witherspoon in Calvin Klein.  Yes, it is a simple dress, but it fits and the color suits her.  My primary critique is that the head-to-toe look reads too summery for January.  Lastly, I can rarely despise anything about Cate Blanchett especially her incredible back displayed in Armani Prive. BLANCHETT

The worst dressed was pretty much everybody else.  Such Bad Choices.

WORST GG 2014 ROWI know everyone’s dick is hard for Lupita Nyong’o in the caped Ralph Lauren, but this dress is basically Gwyneth’s white Tom Ford number in red.  I’m over it Little Red Riding Hood.   LUPITA GLOBESBAD GG 2014 FASHIONMORE BAD GLOBES FASHION 2014

 

Golden Globes 2013:…and the Award Goes to…

Salma Hayek in Gucci for the Best Bluish Black.  She has a certain carefree sparkle only a billion dollars can buy.  Nicole Richie in Naeem Khan for best Palm Beach Housewife.  Is this bitch 74?  G-jus. Amanda Seyfried in Givenchy for most Unseasonably Springy.  I should hate this doily shit, but I don’t. Claire Danes in red Versace for best Post Baby Body Bounce-Back.  Doesn’t she look 10 years younger with those 15 extra pounds?Connie Britton wins Most Consistent in KaufmanFranco.Jessica Alba for most Irrelevantly Gorgeous.  Penalty for skinning a defenseless Muppet for that embarrassing bag. Amy Adams in Marchesa wins the prize for Most Likely to be Accidentally Confused with Taylor Swift.Halle Berry for Misdemeanor Midriff Exposure in VersaceSally Field for worst Granny Globes, gown by Alberta Ferretti.Kerry Washington for Most Overrated in Miu Miu.Anne Hathaway for Most Boring Chanel.Zosia Mamet for Best of the Girls.Lena Dunham for snatching Helen Mirren’s Zac Posen gown.Allison Williams for Most Forgettable Girl.Jessica Chastain in Calvin Klein Slightly Wrong from Head to Toe.Jennifer Lawrence for failure to learn from Jessica Biel’s Weird Dior-titty Mistake. Lucy Liu for Most Incongruent in Carolina Herrera.  What is this floral fuckmess?Hayden Panettiere wins Most Repetitious in Roberto Cavalli.  Jennifer Lopez for Most in Need of a Divorce from Zuhair Murad.Zooey Deschanel in Oscar de la Renta for Most Misguided Personal Style.…Naomi Watts for Best Zac Posen.…Nicole Kidman for Most Improved Hair.  This is a chicer length for her. …Rachel Weisz in Louis Vuitton for the Worst 3-Way Split.Giuliana Rancic in Celia Kritharioti for Most Felonious Showing by an Officer of the Fashion Police.

2012 SAG Awards: saggy nutsackery

No single attendee of the the 2012 SAG Awards snatched “best dressed” by a landslide; rather this red carpet showed subtle improvements – like Tilda Swinton in Lanvin, and not so subtle disappointments like a gawd-awful green Emily Blunt in Oscar de la RentaMany will point to Lea Michele in Versace as best dressed.  Does she look good?  Yes.  Would I be disgusted with myself to name her best dressed?  Yes.  I’m just not personally feeling this silhouette right now.  Even though certain designers are pushing this awkward tea length it’s so hard to wear, as proven by Emma Stone in Alexander McQueen. Michelle Williams wore Valentino.  From the waist up, it is magnificent.  The shoes and bracelet aren’t right.  I’m torn on the subtle asymmetrical hem.  She werks the Mia Farrow better than anyone, no?Jessica Chastain let Calvin Klein sculpt her bosom to delightful results.  One of the best of the night.  What the fuck Kristen Wiig?  Explain this deranged necklace choice.  Shame on you for ruining a Balanciaga with a bad choker. Shall we discuss the couples?  Pitt wore Balenciaga and Jolie wore a Jenny Packham gown reminiscent of a Hefty bag.  Clooney wore Armani and Keibler wore a boring black lace Marchesa.  Is the dress boring or is she?  Both?Me likey Melissa McCarthy’s drapey Badgley Mischka and Natalie Portman in Giambattista Valli too. Glenn Close went big in Zac PosenDiane Lane wasted her incredible body in David Meister. Vergara and Bowen in Marchesa and Temperely London respectively.  I’m not moved by either.Weird whites: Rose Byrne taking a risk in a jumpsuit, (p.s. Is she filming the Anna Wintour biopic with that new hair?)…Zoe Saldana wore Givenchy and it didn’t photograph well.  Viola Davis brought the twins to the party in Marchesa. Let’s end on a high note with Kyra in Pucci, though let this serve as a cautionary tale against tattoos.  The ink on the rib cheapens the look.

Menswear Fall 2012: skins

BalmainMaison Martin MargielaBallyEmporio ArmaniCalvin KleinAmiHermèsBallyEmporio Armani

Golden Globes 2012: Gowns, Gams, & Guns

Jolie served in Atelier Versace.  She turned it out to pimp her directorial debut.  Don’t love the shoes, but when she tries even a little she easily steals the show.

The most improved nod goes to Heidi Klum in Calvin Klein Collection, who usually shows up to these events looking wildly out of place and heinously attired. Mila Kunis looked bored and made this one-strap Christian Dior boring too.  She can do better, but can’t seem to shake this recent ugly frock streak.  Let’s get the brides out of the way.  First, Jessica Chastain arrived in an ill-fitting Givenchy.  In recent awards seasons, Givenchy seems to lend out dresses willy-nilly and doesn’t bother to make sure they are tailored correctly.  For as many style successes as they have, they have an equal number of fashion failures.  Kate Beckinsale always brings the over-try, sponsored here by Roberto Cavalli and accompanied by Len Wiseman.Jessica Biel wore a matrimonial Elie Saab, obviously unable to stifle her wedding enthusiasm. Sofia Vergara showed us the source of the Nile in Vera Wang Sarah Michelle Gellar drowned in a big blue and white tie-dyed Monique L’huillier. Best grown women: Downton Abbey’s Elizabeth McGovern, Diane Lane and Madge both in Reem Acra.Vivienne Westwood dressed Andrea Riseborough who stars in Madonna’s movie W.E.The gorgeous Gucci girls = Salma Hayek and Evan Rachel Wood.God bless Melissa McCarthy; she tried in Badgley Mischka.  Take a cue from Octavia Spencer who looked incredible in a light lavender Tadashi Shoji. Modern Family’s Ariel Winter looks all grown up in Dolce & GabbanaShailene Woodley chose a lovely Marchesa gown, but unfortunately paired it with bad posture.  Claire Danes deviated from her usual favorites Calvin Klein and Narciso Rodriquez in favor of this embellish-backed J. Mendel number.  I’m ambivalent – love the back, hate the front. Michelle Williams wore Jason Wu.  She should stick to Prada or Miu Miu.  Is that burned out velvet?  Emma Stone also failed to impress in a mediocre Lanvin gown. Frieda Pinto wore lapis Prada and it won’t be everyone’s favorite, but I think she’s lovely.  Juliana Marguilies also chose a bold color statement with this sleek eggplant Naeem Khan.Laura Dern sparkled in an emerald Andrew Gn gown.Did you get the memo that Reese is reinventing herself as sexy?  Zac Posen painted her red and gave her hips.  Nicole Richie is quickly morphing into a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills.  At first, I loved this Julien MacDonald metallic dress, but the more I look at it, the less excited I am, especially over that messy hem. Where have you been Natalie?  We’ve barely seen you since you gave birth.  Weird dress by Lanvin. Madeleine Stowe celebrated her career revival in Vera WangCharlize Theron is like awards show pizza; even when she’s bad she’s not that bad, and here she’s pretty decent in Dior Couture.  If only she could wipe that smug-ass look off her (recently tweaked?) face. 

Pre-Fall 2012: Now We’re Talking

Another solid collection from the prolific Burberry Prorsum.Donna KaranNarciso RodriguezAnabela Belikova for Calvin Klein.Nicole MillerBurberry ProrsumKirsty Fucking Hume at Kelly Wearstler.  We’ve missed you Kirsty – and your hair – once considered some of the best in the industry.Jason WuBurberry ProrsumJenni KayneNarciso Rodriguez

Sunday with Nimue Smit

Sunday with Donna Karan

SPRING 2012 RTW: COCKTAILS

Betsey JohnsonPrabal GurungRodarteCalvin Klein GilesMonique L’huillierLela RoseErin FetherstonHerve Leger