Tag Archives: Carrie Bradshaw

A Gallery of Real Life Girls

I really don’t want to talk about this show Gallery Girls, but I feel like I must.  What can I say that hasn’t already been said?  Yes, it is essentially the reality show version of Girls.  Yes, it is filled with superficial, naïve, spoiled, NYC hipsters with zero work ethic paired with struggling, status-climbing wannabes who would sell their first born child in exchange for bonafide status in the art scene. Gallery Girls is embarrassingly predictable with each girl fulfilling a roll as a specific niche stereotype. Lazy and spoiled Liz has got a rich art collector daddy (Martin Margulies!) and won’t hesitate to remind you she could buy and sell you twice.  Don’t ask her to actually lift a finger at her Eli Klein Gallery internship; she’s just there for the cocktail parties.  Insecure, entitled, and snobby, she reminds me a lot of Paris Hilton, which means you will hate her immediately. Cut from similar cloth as Liz, Maggie’s a DuPont heiress living off her trust fund as she sporadically attends her unpaid internship at the Eli Klein Gallery in a sad attempt to recreate Charlotte’s fictional life from SATC.  The only plausible explanation for Maggie is mood stabilizers.  When she comes back to Eli asking to resume her internship, she almost expresses a cogent thought.  Almost.  The third lady of privilege is called AmyAmy means well, but is just sort of dopey, drunk, and desperate.  Liz spends most of the episode looking down her beak at Amy even though they are both equally insufferable in different ways.  Amy’s just a little too loud, a little too enthusiastic, and a little too bow-clad for this whole scene, despite her best efforts to assimilate. 

Of the struggling Brooklynites, first we have Chantal – a pale, nasally, broke-down ballerina type who wanders around oblivious, but occasionally and unintentionally drops a dead-pan one-liner that will crack you in half.  The best part of Chantal is her utter lack of self-awareness – which makes her secretly amusing, if you can get past the annoying voice.

Whiny yet winsome Claudia has partnered with Chantal and Lara to open End of Century, a boutique/gallery in Manhattan.  Claudia borrowed fifteen grand from her family to get the space up and running and is now realizing her hipster friends aren’t so reliable when it comes to actual work.  A true twenty-something, her guiding ideal for this endeavor: “Friendship comes first, business comes second, and that’s what makes it work.”  Feel free to condescendingly chuckle to yourself. Angela, raised in Orange County by her doctor parents, rebelled against her strict Vietnamese upbringing and moved to Brooklyn to try to make it as a photographer.  An admitted narcissist, Angela comes off as flighty, ungrounded, self-absorbed, attention-seeking, and a bit slutty.  Here’s hoping.  Kerri is the hard-working middle-class type.  You know, the one you are supposed to relate to; the “normal” one.  Kerri has a hard-edged drive that definitely gives the impression that she would step a stiletto on your spine to claw her way to the top.  Her face is all hard angles, and I suspect her personality and ambition are too.  Best believe that kut-throat Kerri is hongrey hunny. After the premiere, I predict we will learn absolutely nothing about art from these real-life Girls, but I do predict this show will serve as more than a cautionary tale for the hazards of wearing red lipstick.  (Why don’t those Brooklyn girls tell each other their grills are smeared with MAC?)  If nothing else, those born and bread on SATC might see all their Carrie Bradshaw ideals come crumbling down in this semi-idealized real-life copycat incarnation.

3 for Thursday

What most of us are thinking…

Did anyone really ever buy this showmance?  She got sloppy and I love it.  The Twilight movies suck ass anyway.  Oral in the Mini Cooper.  It must have a surprisingly roomy interior. 

What I’m recommending…

This recommendation is overdue ( it was on my watch list before Telluride).  Without a doubt, Marina Abramović The Artist is Present is a super interesting and inspiring movie.  I know some documentaries can feel tedious.  This is not one of them.  Some of you will need more, so I’m loathe to point out the Marina Abramović’s work was referenced in SATC when Carrie was courted by the Russian.  Hey whatever the reason, do watch.  Extra points for the James Franco and Orlando Bloom sightings.

What I’m hearing…

The xx sleeper single Angels.  What’s with the self-consciousness in the vocals Romy?  Got the sophomore album scares?

Arrested

E! recently made a genius programming decision by upgrading Fashion Police to a weekly series.  Joan Rivers has never been sharper as the Grand Dame presiding over a panel which includes Kelly Osbourne, Giuliana Rancic, and George Kotsiopoulos.

With segments called “Starlet or Streetwalker?” and “Bitch Stole My Look,” this show doesn’t pander to the celebrity ego.  Joan, above reproach at her age, gets away with saying Taylor Swift must be bad in bed, and George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis make a stylish lesbian couple. Speaking of Giuliana, we don’t do baby here at Demeter Clarc, but didja all happen to catch Giuliana and Bill on Friday’s View pimping their new book on their miscarriage press tour?  We all sympathize with the couple for sure, but my inner cynic recoils at the notion of leveraging this kind of loss to bolster book sales and promote the upcoming season of a reality show.While Giuliana has a comforting chipmunky quality, sort of a Katie Couric for Carrie Bradshaw disciples, a ravenous, fame-seeking beast pulses beneath her perky veneer.  Even though the couple’s intentions to share their struggles may come from a pure place, the decision to craft their image around reproductive challenges is a risky strategy indeed.  What if they have five miscarriages before they conceive?  What if they never conceive?  Is the public now privy to every detail since they have offered up the most private part of themselves in exchange for fame?Speaking of late-thirties baby news, OK! reports Rachel Zoe has finally dulled the ache in Rodger’s pussy by incubating their very own Scarlet Begonia this awards season.  Mazel Rach and Rodg!

Sex and the City 2 looks like an Abu Dhabi Dud.

Admit it, they kind of shit the bed with the first Sex and the City movie. JHud sucked and four grown-ass women screaming every time they saw each other was fucking annoying, but I’m worried this second one is going to be down right dreadful.

Karaoke concerns me.

I’m confused by the ergodic locale choice and horrified at rumors of menopause talk.  I like my SATC menopause-free, thanks.

This is just fucking unforgivable.

80′s fashion porn replaces wedding fashion porn this time around.

More Anthony Please.