Tag Archives: Catherine Zeta-Jones

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: On Public Grooming

After several recent appalling experiences on the subway, Blanche D’Almonds requested a Demeter Clarc Manners Moment on the social boundaries of public grooming.  This one’s for you Blanche. No public nail clipping please.  In China public nail clipping is a socially acceptable practice, but you don’t live in China do you?  I’m pretty sure this website is banned in China.  Public nail clipping should be banned everywhere. A tacky bitch labors under the delusion that a public lipstick application is some sort of foreplay for the orally fixated.  Do not break out your compact and lipstick at the dinner table.  Ever. Along with your compact and lipstick, keep your hairbrush in your bag until you reach private quarters.  Furthermore, keep your hands out of your hair whenever in the presence of food. No matter how tempting, keep your fingers out of your mouth in public.  This prohibition includes teeth picking, nail biting, and thumb sucking.  Note how enchanting Catherine Zeta-Jones looks extracting her appetizer from her incisor.

GOLDEN GLOBES 2011: the chic and the weak

Best of the night, Anne Hathaway in a modern fashion-forward Armani Privé gown (featured here in best gowns of Fall 2010 waaaay back in August).

Worst of the night, Heidi Klum in Marc Jacobs serving Neapolitan nausea.

Calvin Klein Collection provided intense color and clean lines resulting in two of the most refreshing looks of the evening – Emma Stone and Claire Danes. The two biggest disappointments were Jennifer Lawrence in Louis Vuitton and Scarlett Johansson in Elie Saab.  These were not the most offensive gowns of the evening, but neither selection does its wearer justice.  Since this was one of Scarjo’s first appearances post-divorce announcement, her failure to turn it out is really inexcusable. More than ever, these mega-gowns feel really antiquated.  Catherine Zeta-Jones goes to prom in Monique L’huillier

Pretty pink princess Lea Michele joins her in Oscar de la Renta

Eva Longoria looks like she’s dragging her grief behind her in this Zac PosenWho invited Hewitt?

From the washed-up diva collection, Zuhair Murad dressed both Christina Aguilera and Jennifer LopezAwkward and abysmal asymmetry abounded; unfortch, no one executed this look correctly.

Julie Bowen in Tadashi Shoji - we want so much more for you Claire.

Julianne Moore tried her best to work a Lanvin dress that was in desperate need of a good steam.  Nicole Kidman bored us in Prada.Granny gown girls: Leighton Meester misfired again in Burberry and Michelle Williams continues her defiantly unappealing streak in Valentino. The two most overrated?  Sophia Vergara in Vera loves-a-sash Wang and Angelina Jolie in Versace.  Hey Angie, Joan Collins called and demanded you return her gown.  The most stylish and appropriately dressed youngin’ was Hailee Steinfeld in Prabal Gurung. Sarah Hyland could have used some guidance away from this fug Max Azria. Many folks will criticize Natalie Portman’s Viktor & Rolf gown, but who can be mad at this feminine display of whimsy?  Olivia Wilde deviated from the crowd with this full-skirted, sparkly, starry night Marchesa gown.  

The titty committee, January Jones in Versace and Halle Berry in Nina Ricci. The Glee girls gave good gownage.

Single-note strong colors adorn Kyra Sedgwick in Emilio Pucci and Elisabeth Moss in Donna Karan.

Most random?  A heavy-banged Sandra Bullock in Jenny Packham