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Home > Christmas
12 Drummers Drumming
11 Pipers Piping
10 Lords a-Leaping
9 Ladies Dancing
8 Maids a-Milking
7 Swans a-Swimming
6 Geese a-laying
5 Golden Rings
4 Calling Birds
3 French Hens
2 Turtle Doves
and a partridge in a pear tree.
For some of us, Christmas means sitting around with people we don’t like opening presents we don’t want. This is the gift of adulthood. The only upside is booze.
Microeconomists theorize Christmas gift giving as a deadweight loss. Basically, all the crap we exchange has less value than what we pay for it, and storing the clutter costs more than it’s worth.
Nevertheless, we must learn to accept less desirable baubles with grace. No matter how ill-suited the gift, don’t allow your reaction to match its inappropriateness.
Suck up your disdain; the only acceptable response to a gift is gratitude. No need to disingenuously lay it on thick; a sincere expression of thanks will suffice. Flex your honesty muscles, and you may end up with a sobbing mother-in-law.