Tag Archives: clean water

Skills for Life: Tiny Cleaning Crew

TINY TOWN BOYLast week, I went on the cutest date with the best man to Tiny TownTiny Town is comprised of a ton of little dollhouses and has a little train you can ride around the modest grounds.  We arrived early before the crowds and commenced our tour of Tiny Town.  As we got toward the back of the colony of dollhouses, I noticed two girls.  The older girl looked about nine years old and the younger one around seven.  They had a bucket and squeegee and were cleaning off the exterior of the tiny houses.  I watched and listened to the diminutive cleaning crew working.  As they cleaned the dirt off the dollhouse windows one by one, I heard the older girl explaining to the younger girl that the water was getting dirty and needed to be changed.  They weren’t complaining, worked together without conflict, and encouraged each other to rally when they got tired.  I was super impressed.  Not only were these girls participating in age-appropriate chores, but the older girl was mentoring the younger girl by teaching her cleaning skills for life.  There was no direct adult supervision, and there didn’t need to be because these two young ladies were clearly raised with a sense of responsibility.  TINY TOWN TWO GIRLSYesterday, during my teeth cleaning, I was listening to my hygienist bitch about her step-children – two girls – ages ten and twelve who are spoiled brats with zero responsibility.  These girls respect no one because they have never been taught respect.  They have no life skills because no one ever taught them how to pick up after themselves.  As a result, the girls are ungrateful and bored because they have no appreciation for responsibility.  Parents who shelter their children from work are doing their kids a great disservice.  Find age-appropriate tasks and teach your children early on that life is a balance between work and fun.  Prepare your children for the reality of life not your fantasy of an ideal childhood.  Teach them self-soothing skills and self-sufficiency, so you don’t end up gifting the world with your useless, lazy, spoiled, entitled, and ungrateful offspring.  Yeah, I sound judgmental, but when it comes to parenting – if you aren’t going to do it right, don’t do it at all. TINY TOWN KID

waste water

Do you know that we waste a third of our water on the lawn and landscaping?  Of that third, almost 50% of that water is misused or wasted by poor system design, over watering, or evaporation. Most folks water their lawns too long and too often.  This just means you have to cut the grass more, and the lawn mower creates several different sources of pollution.

Furthermore, I get so sick of looking at manicured grass.  Who am I to discriminate between a dandelion and grass and decide one plant has more right to thrive than the other?  A champion of biodiversity, I will not adhere to this country’s hegemonic pro-grass agenda.  I just have a sneaking suspicion that a day will come sooner rather than later when we will look back with disgust at the amount of clean drinkable water we dumped into all our precious lawns. 


Let’s Go Swimming

Happy Labor Day.  For those of you headed to the pool, just remember…

17% of adults admit to peeing in the pool, including Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps.

Earlier this summer, a dead woman floated around in a pool in Massachusetts for two days before anybody bothered to fish her out.

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention notes the most commonly reported recreational water illness is diarrhea, which can be caused by germs such as Cryptosporidium, Giardia, Shigella, norovirus and E. coli.  These bugs contaminate the water through trace amounts of fecal matter that cling to people’s bodies.

Have a great holiday dirty sluts. 

Grilled Summit Cheese

Summit on the Summit premiered last night and I tuned in because I enjoy the sight of celebrities suffering.  Watching celebrities rough-it has satisfying aspects, but no one in this ninety minute movie explains what the fuck climbing this mountain has to do with fresh drinking water.  They keep saying the “Global Clean Water Crisis has brought us here,” and “we are bringing awareness to the problem,” uhhh, okay, how?  They don’t seem to be asking for donations or providing any clean water, so what does this have to do with the clean water crisis?

After pulling out of the trip at the last minute, Justin Timberlake limply introduces the documentary.  Jessica Biel signed up for this thinking she and Justin would be together, and then he drops out and she’s stuck climbing a 19,000 ft. mountain while he bones dancers back in Vegas.

Let me point out a few things about this little “philanthropic mission,” 248 porters (sherpas) were used to haul the celebrities’ shit up the mountain!  These pussies only carried twenty pounds, “desperate, water-less” Tanzanians carried the rest of the celebrities’ belongings, food, and gear ahead of the group to the top.  Wow, you guys are really roughing it!

In addition to the Sherpas, a tech crew is sending “daily dispatches to the web via satellite so that we can engage people in the clean water issue during the climb itself.”  I’m not sure why since this climb has no ostensible connection to the creation or distribution of clean water.

When the celeb-climbers reach each camp they are greeted by fully prepared meals of grilled cheese, warm soup, and fried chicken prepared by the natives who have trekked up ahead to ensure the most luxurious camping accommodations possible for the spoiled twats.

Predictably, Emile Fucking Hirsch whines about the intolerable pain of his ingrown pubic hair.  Call in the Tanzanian National Guard Emile!

Santigold is so fucking cute and never complains, and  if you haven’t listened to her record Santogold that should really be your first priority today.

Isabel Lucas cries about being cold; bitch if you had some body fat you wouldn’t be freezing.  That is price you pay for having a BMI of 18. 

Biel guts it out and I’m floored she completes the mission with nary a complaint.  I have to begrudgingly give it to her, she has grit.

Mighty Mount Kilimanjaro mocks the group’s misguided attempt at philanthropy by throwing snow, sleet, and rain at these twats every step of the way.  Truthfully, I was hoping for a complete celebrity meltdown, and chances are there were a few that didn’t make it into the documentary, but in the end everybody nutted-up and reached the summit.

Even at the top of Kilimanjaro, I’m still not sure what the fuck this has to do with clean water and I’m not sure anybody else on this trip does either.  I’m left wondering, could the time and resources expended on this trip have been better used to distribute clean water packets, dig a well, or create a reservoir?  They don’t even ask for donations.  I hope this little documentary does “bring awareness to the clean water crisis,” but the best I can tell this was a pampered ass trek up Africa’s highest mountain by a bunch of misguided Americans.