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My boss is recently separated and heading to divorce court. All day long she talks about her desperation for a man. Not like I have much to show for myself, but to go on and on about it is so boring! When we work together, several of her guy friends hang around. As far as I know, she’s not fucking any of them, although there is an unrequited love scenario with one. These guys shower her with attention and she eats it up. On the rare occasion that I stay after work, these guys flirt with me too. Boss lady gets jealous of their divided attention. If they are just friends, what’s wrong with them chatting me up? Have you encountered this cattiness before? I often think about quitting just to escape the drama, but then I stay to see what happens next.
Dear Divided Attention:
We both know your boss is feeling low on account of her crumbled marriage. While it is truly pathetic that feeling attractive to a few lazy hanger-ons validates her, that’s her sad little world right now. Only you can decide if you want to be the kind of woman who snatches her dim shine for a little ego boost of your own. No judgment. Before you decide how to play it, I have a few predictions and recommendations. 1) Before long the unrequited love will get requited or rejected. The mere act of Boss Lady finally choosing among her minions will diffuse the sexual tension. My first piece of advice with regard to hanging on to the job: wait out this weird energetic vortex and the dynamic will change. 2) I strongly discourage you from hanging out at work when you aren’t working. Beyond the obvious unprofessional implications, it ruins your mystique by making it look like you have no life outside of work. If you do end up flirting and/or fucking anybody at work then all the coworkers and regulars will know. Why set up a potentially messy and undignified situation? For what? A sloppy one night stand? Plus, dudes that spend their evenings wooing a desperate divorcee are so beneath you. 3) I predict the stool warmers are bored disarming Boss Lady with semi-sincere compliments, especially if their efforts have yet to yield even a lousy beej. Without engaging in job-endangering flirtation, you can still bask in the shine of the hanger-ons attention by completely ignoring them. Yup, the more you blow these dudes off, the more they will work to wear you down. I’m not suggesting you act like a snob, just meet them with polite indifference. Make them work HARD for it girl. Nobody is a challenge anymore. You’ll get a kick out of watching the lengths they’ll go to win you over. 4) Once Boss Lady and her bitch brigade see that you don’t dissolve into a puddle of giggles and swoon every time an attractive man fancies you, they will be forced (even while choking on bitter pettiness) to respect you. Furthermore, your disinterest in this obvious cock display will make them question their own overvaluation of these sad little stool warmers.