Tag Archives: cult films

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: shoot the messenger

There is a scene in Unzipped where one of Mizrahi’s minions tentatively approaches him with the latest issue of WWD featuring Gaultier’s collection based on a similar Nanook of the North theme.  Isaac reacts to the catastrophe by venting his frustration on the meek messenger.  “Don’t show these things to me I’ve not been looking at it.  Just don’t show it to me.  You showed it to me.  It’s like you took some evil pleasure in it.”

Mizrahi articulated with flare what most of us scream inside when someone takes the liberty of farting on our day by passing along a hateful criticism traded behind our back.  Best to never repeat something that will hurt someone’s feelings.  The person on the receiving end won’t forget the sting of the news or where it originated.  As a general rule, don’t ever start a sentence with, “Girl you know what she said about you?”On the flipside, don’t talk shit unless you are prepared to say it to the person’s face because TRUST no one will listen to the advice above.  At the first opportunity, the tattler will tattle with delight.

 

BLACK SWAN

The exclusive use of black, white, gray, pink, and green create the film’s visual mood.  Those familiar with a leotard recognize these colors, jaundiced by florescent lights, as the uniform and backdrop of hours spent at the barre.  The soundtrack – crack, crack, crack – crack of the toes, crack of the neck – this girl’s cracking up.  Aronofsky precisely uses both color and sound to create the ballerina version of Fight Club.  He perfectly cast Mila Kunis as the Black Swan’s Tyler Durden. Winona Ryder reminds us why she’s a STAR.  She brings a stomach-flipping unpredictability to Beth, The Dying SwanBarbara Hershey serves up the bitterness of broken dreams as Nina’s overprotective, infantilizing stage mom.Props to Portman, who truly transformed her body into that of a ballerina.  When it comes to the actual dancing however, her fingertips lack the infinite extension of an authentic dancer.  Natalie set vanity aside to play Nina, and for the most part rises to the occasion.Consistent with Aronofsky, Black Swan explores self-mutilation, this time in the name of ballet.  The film pirouettes with feminine images of perfectionism, aging, horror, eroticism and discipline.  Many will find it confrontational and unsettling, and that is a good thing.

CROPSEY

You guys seen this weird little documentary Cropsey?  Billed as an investigation into a child-napping urban legend, it serves as a good reminder of the myriad of reasons we should steer clear of Staten Island. This movie is a bit all over the place in both its message and focus (satanic cults, obsessed murder-victim fans, hapless defense attorneys).  The best part of the film is the inclusion of an exposé Geraldo Rivera did in 1972 on the Willowbrook mental institution located on Staten Island that serves as the geographical black heart of the child-killing legends.  Rivera’s clips are the most disturbing and compelling part of the film because it is actual footage of severely disabled kids writhing naked in their own excrement, dumped on Staten Island like Manhattan’s trash.  The film doesn’t make any decisions for you, and by the end you may or may not have a theory about Cropsey.  Regardless, the images of these children will haunt you for days.

UNZIPPED

Today begins Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week where designers will present their spring 2011 collections.  Get in the mood by viewing arguably the best fashion movie ever made: Unzipped. This movie is old; it documents Isaac Mizrahi’s 1994 fall ready-to-wear collection.  Doesn’t matter, it holds up.  Filmed during the apex of the supermodel era, Unzipped is jam packed with cameos: Sandra Bernard, Cindy Crawford, Kate Moss, Carla Bruni, Naomi Campbell, Helena Christensen, Shalom Harlow, Amber Valletta, Eartha Kitt, and a tantrum-throwing Linda Evangelista (among many others). Mizrahi charms as his chubby nervous-nelly self, and his team of sycophants carve their own unique roles in this (pre-reality TV boom) documentary.  Endlessly quotable, this is an unmissable fashion cult classic.

Better than Salt

Truthfully, since Angelina and Brad have gotten together neither of them have made movies worth seeing.  Brad’s on his anti-sex-symbol-legitimate-actor trajectory, and Angie keeps churning out the same mindless action movies.  Instead of plunking down dough for Angelina’s latest recapitulated offering, why not revisit some of her more worthwhile work?   Like Gia, Jolie’s award-winning, seminal portrayal of a rebellious, drug-addicted supermodel.  It is easy to resent Angelina’s recent, lazy, phoned-in, performances when compared to her authentic embodiment of the complex and unpredictable Gia Carangi.

ADVENTURELAND

Summertime brings on an itch for the amusement park, rather than actually interact with children, visit Adventureland.  No movie better encapsulates the airbrushed corn dog nostalgia of the local crappy fun park of your childhood.Obviously, I’m obsessed with Martin Starr, so as a selling point let’s start with him.   He somehow manages to slip a Gogol reference into every role he plays.  Where Martin Starr goes, I follow.  Unlike those God-awful Twilight movies, Stewart doesn’t make me want to gouge my eyes out in her performance as EmIn addition to the stellar cast, this movie has an excellent soundtrack including The Cure, Crowded House, and The Velvet Underground.

For You to Watch: Drop Dead Gorgeous

Drop Dead Gorgeous is an ahead-of-its time 1999 faux-documentary set in rural Minnesota.  Kirsten Dunst, Kirstie Alley, Ellen Barkin, Allison Janney, Brittany Murphy, Amy Adams, and Denise Richards all contribute to the ensemble in this hilarious parody of small town beauty pageants.Several of these underrated female comics turn in fantastic performances in the vein of The Office years before Michael Scott was on the air.Denise Richards‘ acting career peaked with Becky Ann Leeman; you will love to hate her as Kirstie Alley’s crown-hungry daughter. A thick-accented Kirstie Alley kills as a pushy stage mother and pageant organizer vicariously living through her snotty over-privileged daughter.

Show Me Your TEETH

TEETH is a weird little cult film that breaks all the rules of the horror genre. TEETH is the cinematic inverse of a rape fantasy.  Imagine if your minge had fangs and anybody that violated it got chomped.You may not recognize the star, Jess Weixler, but she has three films currently in post-production.  Get to know her here first.TEETH manifests deep primal castration anxiety, and therefore viewing this film may make cause your dick to retreat.