Tag Archives: cult movie

Annie

Ever since the northwest trip, I’ve been itching to see Annie (1982).  Must be all the drawbridges I crossed.  The classic so holds up!  Let’s Go to the MoviesLittle Girls – so may good numbers and I’m not even a person who particularly enjoys musicals.  I had this annoying friend Jessica in high school who was in every two-bit theater production in town.  I endured more than a few community productions of “Once Upon a Mattress” and “Jesus Christ Superstar” all in the name of friendship.  We aren’t friends anymore.  It’s fine; she’s stuck in my God-forsaken hometown probably still doing shitty community theater.  Sorry I’ve gotten really off track.  Back to my girls Pepper and MollyBefore the rumored Willow Smith remake treads on the memory of my favorite version which includes brilliant performances from Carol Burnett, Tim Curry, and Bernadette Peters, please watch the 1982 John Huston (Anjelica’s father) gem.  That’s Ed Herrmann as FDR ya’ll.  Only a hateful cold-hearted bitch could resist Grace Farrell. Love the climatic drawbridge scene where Punjab saves the day.  Truthfully, I enjoyed every moment of the comforting childhood friend.  As an adult you notice new things like the incredibly stylish clothes and decorating.  Just saying, if you are in a pinch for a drawbridge, Annie’s the fix.  Try to take the obvious racism in context as a quaint vestige of its time.

A Journey to Endor

All my life I’ve been waiting to see the Redwoods, and finally yesterday I got the chance.  Photos can never do these trees justice; you must experience their surreal majesty in person.  I visited one of the most well-known areas for viewing the giants, Jedediah Smith Redwood State Park near Crescent City, California.  In another unintended turn down film history lane, this park is coincidentally home to Endor, the planet of the Ewoks from Return of the Jedi.Do you know that over 90% of the original redwoods have been logged by greedy-ass humans?  Gross, right?These behemoths can grow over 370 feet tall and over 20 feet in diameter.  They are some of the oldest living beings on this planet.  It is truly depressing to walk among these ancient groves knowing that dumbass humans cut down the biggest, tallest, strongest, and oldest specimens in the early 1900′s.  The hubris of a man taking a saw to a 1,000 year old tree is truly disgusting.   Walking through this forest, knowing it is now only a shadow of what it used to be because of human interference, makes me hate people more than I already do.  I didn’t actually think that was possible. Take the time to visit this place and remind yourself how insignificant we are compared to the resources we destroy.  Sitting humbly at the base of one of these granddaddy trees does wonders for recalibrating one’s perspective.  Enough preaching, if you could give a fuck about preserving the Earth, well then maybe you care about visiting Endor.  Whatever gets you there, it’s worth a trip to backwoods California to gaze at the big tall trees.  Psychedelics are optional, but you have a much greater chance of glimpsing an Ewok if you bring some along.

 

GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!

Today was spent in humble reverence to one of the most formative films of my childhood: The Goonies.  I got to see Mikey’s house in the flesh ya’ll!  More than 20 years later, the path up to the home is well-tread.  The friendly owners let you walk directly up to the hallmark of 80′s nostalgia and take photos.  No Truffle Shuffle required for entry.  Also located in Astoria, check out the Clatsop County Jail which Goonies fans may remember from the opening scene of the 1985 classic.  The former jail now serves as the Oregon Film Museum. Even if these other two locales have been buried deep under years of accumulated subconscious pop culture history, surely you remember Goonies’ big finish filmed at Haystack Rock?  This iconic monument lives right off the coast of lovely Cannon Beach.  Visit gorgeous Ecola State Park for access to sweeping views of Haystock Rock and all its rock formation friends + orange and purple starfish and turquoise sea anemone too.

Goonies Never Say Die!

CROPSEY

You guys seen this weird little documentary Cropsey?  Billed as an investigation into a child-napping urban legend, it serves as a good reminder of the myriad of reasons we should steer clear of Staten Island. This movie is a bit all over the place in both its message and focus (satanic cults, obsessed murder-victim fans, hapless defense attorneys).  The best part of the film is the inclusion of an exposé Geraldo Rivera did in 1972 on the Willowbrook mental institution located on Staten Island that serves as the geographical black heart of the child-killing legends.  Rivera’s clips are the most disturbing and compelling part of the film because it is actual footage of severely disabled kids writhing naked in their own excrement, dumped on Staten Island like Manhattan’s trash.  The film doesn’t make any decisions for you, and by the end you may or may not have a theory about Cropsey.  Regardless, the images of these children will haunt you for days.

Winter’s Bone

Fuck Sex and the City.  You want a movie that celebrates the strength of womanhood?  Check out Winter’s Bone.This film is one hundred minutes of pure heartland Americana in all its honest bleakness.Jennifer Lawrence defines grit as Ree Dolly, the put-upon eldest child of a crooked meth cooker and catatonic mother.  Ree fends for her family Ozarks-style – with sheer hustle and wit.In the case of Winter’s Bone, the early Oscar-buzz is well deserved.  If it comes down to Jennifer Lawrence in Winter’s Bone against Natalie Portman in Black Swan, come Oscar day I hope Jen swipes it from that overrated twat.  Don’t miss her flawless career-making performance.

SHAG

All this balmy weather has me in the mood for road trip, but since that ain’t happening anytime soon, I’ll have to settle for a romp with my SHAG girls.  This weird little cult movie stars some familiar faces: Bridget Fonda, Phoebe Cates, and Annabeth GishIt perfectly captures the fleeting moment right after high school before everyone goes their own way.  SHAG serves up delicious southern sixties bouffant glamarama in a polka dot bikini.